The Harsh Light Of Day
by annabel1
Summary: --COMPLETE-- Rory’s 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… It's a sequel to 'The Day After Tomorrow'
1. Chapter One

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically I own just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (although will be PG at least for the first chapters, maybe even longer)

A/N: So, this is the sequel to 'The Day After Tomorrow', but I don't think it's necessary to have read that story to understand this one. Anyway, before anything I have to say that I've never been to the US, I know nothing about universities or any companies etc. that are mentioned in this story. So if something seems very strange/unrealistic to you, let me know, but please try to forgive any smaller flaws you find in this story(I'm sure they'll be a lot of those..) For instance, I have no idea when Rory's birthday really is. And again, you're more than welcome to point out the grammatical errors etc. And I really need reviews for this one, so please send feedback! Thank you! I hope you like this..:)    

Chapter One

*Monday, 7am*

Rory sat up on the bed. She could have sworn that she hadn't slept an hour. For a minute she just sat there, trying to convince herself that she really needed to get up. Weeks went past so quickly, it seemed like every day was Monday. Rory hated Mondays. 

"Get up, sleepyhead. I've got breakfast ready for you!" his voice shouted from the kitchen 

She smiled a bit and finally got up. She was definitely lucky to have a husband who made her breakfast practically every morning. Slowly she crawled first to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. She sat down beside the table and looked at her husband.

"Thanks, Pete. I don't know how I'd ever get out of bed without you"

"You wouldn't" Pete said laughing and came to kiss her after he'd put the pancakes on the table. "Anyway, I already ate, I have to get going"

"This early?" Rory asked after she had stuffed her mouth full. "Will you have time for lunch?"

"I doubt it" Pete said and took his briefcase from the table. "But I'll call if it looks like I can make it. If not, I'll be home around six"

"We could order some take out and watch a movie?" Rory said and smiled at him when she got up and went to straighten his tie.

Pete's blue eyes looked at her cheerfully and she touched his short brown hair gently. 

"Sounds good. But now I have to go"

"Okay. Bye, honey" Rory replied smiling and after Pete had gone, she turned her gaze back to the pancakes. 

*NBC building, 11.30am*

Rory sat in her office room and stared at the computer screen. She yawned lazily and then got up. She was hungry, and since Pete hadn't called she was forced to go out for lunch alone, unless she got someone from the office to join her. Melanie, her best friend in New York, was sitting in the room next to hers and Rory peaked into her room.

"Would you like to have lunch, Mel?" Rory said and tried to suppress another yawn.

"You're hungry?" the woman asked and ran her fingers along her blond hair. There was really no point in asking the question, she already knew the answer. "Yea, sure. Just give me five minutes to wrap this up."

"I'll give you ten, I have to get some papers to Bill before we go."

"See you by the elevators, Rory" Melanie screamed after her when she got back to her room and then walked down the hall to the door of a larger office. 

Rory knocked and when she heard her boss's voice, she stepped in. Bill, her slightly chubby, 45 year old boss was sitting behind his desk and drinking coffee, as always. Rory actually suspected that she had got her first internship at NBC six years ago because Bill was so happy to find someone who shared his obsession for coffee.

"Rory, hey, it's good you came"

"I just came to bring you these papers. I didn't know you were busy"

Rory's gaze turned to the woman sitting on the other side of the table. She was about her age, she had dark hair and brown eyes. She looked foreign, maybe Spanish or Italian. Rory figured that she was the new employee Bill had talked about the other day and smiled at her kindly. 

"This is Caterina Zambrotta, our new recruit. And this is Rory Gilmore, one of our key figures here in the newsroom. Caterina will be working in our Italian correspondence. 

"Since when have I been a key figure?" Rory said laughing and stretched out her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Ms Zambrotta" 

"Please, call me Cate" the woman said and smiled at Rory.

"I was actually hoping that you'd take Caterina for lunch and give her some insight into what working here is like"

"It's pretty much like any other company that practises slavery" Rory said and grinned at Bill. "But sure, we're just going out for lunch with Melanie, so if you're ready here, you're more than welcome to join us"

"Melanie Wiltord is working in our French correspondence. Rory on the other hand is our… What are you, Rory?"

"I have no idea" Rory replied laughing. "I do a bit of everything around here"

"Rory will mostly be the person whom you're responsible to directly and she'll give you a hand if you have any problems. She's pretty much the number two here in foreign affairs" Bill continued smiling and chuckled when he continued "Naturally, I'm the number one. But I'll let you girls go and get to know each other. When you're back, Rory could show you around the office, right?"

"Of course" Rory said smiling and then left the office with Cate.

The women went to the elevator after getting their coats and saw Melanie already waiting. Rory introduced Mel and Cate to each other and in a few minutes they were all sitting in a tiny restaurant near the office where they ate lunch practically every day. 

"So, you're rather young to be in such a high position at the office" Cate said after they all had their meals in front of them. 

"Yea well, I've been at NBC full-time for three years now, but it was six years ago when I was first an intern here. I just got lucky basically. But, I'm not really your boss. I don't really know how to explain what I do, I do a bit of everything, I guess"

"Rory is our general handyman" Mel said laughing

"Well, I'm sure we'll get along well" Cate said kindly. "And Rory, you have a very interesting name"

"It's short for Lorelai" Rory replied smiling.

"So are you two New Yorkers originally?" Cate asked 

"No, I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, Stars Hollow. But I've lived here since I've worked at NBC"

Cate nodded smiling and seemed a bit occupied in her thoughts. 

"So, are you Italian then? You speak English so well" Melanie asked, she herself was Canadian.

"My father is Italian and my mother American. I lived in Seattle until I was a teenager, but the last ten years in Italy. My fiancé is American, but we met in Italy" 

"So, how did you decide to move here? Did he get a job here or what?"

Cate shook her head laughing. 

"My fiancé is… a free spirit. He's a writer, pretty much a freelancer. He writes a lot for newspapers and he actually just got a publishing deal for a book here in New York. He's travelled around the world, and I met him while he was passing by Florence two years ago. I fell in love instantly" Cate said and giggled lightly. "It was my luck that he came back and I managed to charm him"

"How long have you been engaged?" Rory asked lifting a glass of water to her lips.

"Six months, although it seems it happened just yesterday" Cate was smiling when she spoke. "But you have a ring, too, Rory"

"Yea, I've been married for a year and a half now. Pete and I met at university and we've been together ever since. Four years, I think"

"Pete's an architect" Melanie said with her mouth full of food. "I would have fallen in love with him myself if Rory hadn't already snatched him. I never get lucky with men!"

"Yea, right!" Rory said laughing and looked at her friend who was a really striking woman. "Believe me, any party and the guys are lining up to Mel"

Everyone knew that Mel was a sworn single. But not many knew that she had once been involved with someone, the love of her life, like she had told Rory. He had died years ago in a car accident, and Mel was pretty sure she would never find anyone who could even come close to him.

Cate enjoyed the company of her new colleagues and the three women soon found that they got along very well. After lunch, they all returned to the office and at five o'clock they were ready to go home.

"Bill? I'll have the report on EU law for you tomorrow" Rory said and peaked inside her boss's office. "I'll just check something and then it's all ready"

"Thanks, Rory" Bill replied with a smile. "Are you heading home?"

"Yea, unless you need me?"

"No, no. Go home, you've worked so much overtime lately"

"Okay, bye" Rory said when she ran to the elevator and caught it just before the doors closed. 

"Rory!" Cate cried out behind the dozen people standing in the elevator and somehow managed to get past them to Rory. "I'm so glad I caught you. I was wondering if you and Pete would like to have dinner with me and my fiancé some time? We don't really know too many people here in New York, so it would be nice to get to know you better"

"Sounds good" Rory replied smiling. "We could go and eat out, or you could come to our place. Pete is a really good cook"

"That sounds great. We can talk about it tomorrow" Cate said when they got off the elevator. 

"It's nice to have you at the office, Cate" Rory replied smiling. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Rory" Cate waved at her when they went their separate ways.

Rory wrapped her coat around her more tightly. It was March, and it was still pretty cold outside. Now she just wanted to get home and eat something. She was starving. 

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 6.30pm*

Rory heard the apartment door open and Pete walked in. Rory went to give him a hug with a coffee mug in hand and he smiled at her looking pleased. 

"Did you have a good day?" Pete asked taking off his coat and kicking his shoes to the corner.

"Yea, it was good" Rory replied and went to the phone. "Pizza?"

Pete nodded going to the bedroom. Soon he returned without his suit, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Rory came up from behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

"How was your day?"

"Long" Pete replied laughing when he pulled Rory on the couch. "But it doesn't matter now that I'm here with you"

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear" Rory replied smiling and laid her head on his chest. 

Pete reached down to kiss her and then stroked her hair gently.

"So, have you decided what you want for your birthday?" he asked curiously

"I don't know. It feels weird that I'm 27 in a few weeks"

"You're getting old" Pete said and smirked. "But I'm getting old with you"

"That's comforting to know" Rory laughed. "But I really don't need a present" 

"I just wanna give you something, Rory. A trip somewhere?"

"We don't have time for trips. You're away from home so much as it is. And it's a bit too expensive. Let's settle for a weekend home, just you and me. Do you think you could manage that?"

"I think so. I'll just make sure that Eric isn't expecting me to go to Washington that weekend. So, do you wanna stay here or go to your mom's?"

"I really wanna stay here!" Rory cried out laughing a bit. "I need a quiet weekend, not my mom being neurotic. I mean, I love her when she's neurotic, but right now… A quiet weekend, please"

"Then you'll have one"

"Good" Rory said when the doorbell rang and she sat up to go to the door. 

"I'll get it" Pete said and got up quickly 

Pete was working on a project in Washington and for the past few months he had spent at least two weekends in every month there. He was the youngest employee at the architect firm he worked for and he was usually the one who was sent to supervise projects when it was needed. And this particular project was pretty much his own, so he was happy to go and see that everything was working out. 

Pete returned with the pizzas and settled on the couch beside Rory again. 

"We have this new woman at work, Cate. She's really nice and she asked if you and I would have dinner with her and her fiancé some time. They're new here, so they don't know that many people" 

"Sounds nice" Pete said while stuffing his mouth with food.

"Yeah, I was thinking that we could do it this weekend?"

Pete shook his head and after having some coke, he said he'd leave for Washington on Friday morning.  

"Oh, I forgot. Well, I could ask them here some weeknight. Thursday? You're not leaving early on Friday, right?"

"No, I have to get going at noon, so Thursday would be good for me" Pete said and started thinking about what he'd cook for the night while Rory went to the fridge to get another soda

"Lane is coming here next week, did I tell you about that?" she said leaning against the living room wall.

Pete shook his head and Rory told him that her best friend had a few extra days off work and she had decided to come spend time with Rory. Lane lived in Chicago with her husband Mark. They had got married a bit before Rory and Pete, Lane had met Mark her first year in college. Lane worked at a music store and Mark was a sports journalist. 

"I'm so glad she isn't coming this week, I'd barely have any time to spend with her. I can't believe how much work there's been for the last few weeks"

"Yea, you've been exhausted lately"

"Bill said that things are probably winding down, especially now that we have a few new employees. That should mean less work for me. Thank God!"

"So, is Mark coming with Lane? We could catch a game or something"

"No, Lane's coming alone. I think she needs the break, you know from Mark and this whole baby thing. I think she's getting a bit desperate"

"Well, they have been trying to get a baby for a year now. The best thing for them would be to relax and

take things easy. They're both so stressed out that it's no wonder nothing's happening"

"I guess so" Rory replied lost in her thoughts. "And they still have time. I mean, it would be different if she was ten years older. I'll just try to make her relax when she gets here. I need a distraction from work and she really needs to put the baby out of her mind for a minute"

"I'm sure you'll manage that. And I'll probably be working long hours next week, too, so I won't be in your way"

"Have you ever been in the way?" Rory asked smiling and went to get another slice of pizza for herself.

A/N: Next chapter: the dinner. And we get to meet Cate's fiancé.. The reasons for Jess leaving years ago will be introduced in the next few chapters, too. It's nothing dramatic though, and it's got nothing to do with his father (in this story he's not seen his father since he was a child). And this really isn't a story about a steamy affair between Rory and Jess, even though it sounds so tempting..;)


	2. Chapter Two

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None 

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (well, PG for now)

A/N: Okay, I just want to clarify something… This is above anything else a story about Rory and Jess, and their feelings for each other. So, I'll really focus on the two of them, but I won't tell you how this is going to end up (that wouldn't be any fun, would it?). But I really think that adultery is a serious thing so I definitely won't deal with this subject lightly… 

Oh and sorry about the fact that in this story Rory's birthday is in April when in "reality" it's in October. Sorry I didn't check it before I started writing. Anyway, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter Two

*Thursday, 7pm* 

Rory had had a long and tough day at work. She had got home an hour ago and taken a quick shower. She was so grateful that Pete was a good cook, if she had tried to come up with a dinner in such a short

time it would have been useless. Actually, all of her attempts for dinner were typically pretty hopeless.  

The doorbell rang. Rory took a deep breath. Cate was nice and if her fiancé was anything like her, the dinner would be a success. A peaceful night with new friends, that was exactly what she needed. 

Pete was still in the kitchen and so Rory went to the door. She opened it and was greeted by a smiling Cate. 

"Hey, Rory!" she said and handed her a bottle of wine. 

Rory took it from her smiling and then her gaze moved to the man standing next to Cate.

It was like travelling back in time. Rory felt like she was the same girl that seven years before was standing in front of this very same man and thinking that her life had just fell apart. He really couldn't be standing in front of her right now. It just wasn't possible that he was Cate's fiancé and that he was in her doorway. This really couldn't be happening. Rory felt an immense need to throw up or better yet, run like hell.  

_~Flashback~_

_"I think I'm gonna leave" his words were almost inaudible, fragile._

_Sitting on the bridge, Rory stared into the water, it seemed strangely black. The wind made her shiver, or maybe it was his words. His arms were still around her, she was sitting in between his legs, leaning her back against his chest. She couldn't see his face, and she was glad he couldn't see hers. Rory blinked, please don't start crying, she tried to tell herself._

_The silence continued. God, why can't I say something, Rory cursed to herself. She had known this was coming. When they had started college, she had hoped that Jess would have felt at home there. After a promising start, Rory had realised that it wasn't working. Sure, he had done well and his grades had been good, but she knew him and she had seen that it wasn't his thing. _

_Rory took a deep breath and turned to look at him. It was dark, but being so close to him she could see the features of his face clearly. The look in his eyes was sad, remorseful, and full of pain. Rory knew he was hurting, and she didn't want to make this any harder by letting him see just how hurt she was, too. But of course Jess could see it. Nobody knew Rory like he did, he saw the pain and it made his pain ten times greater. _

_"When?"_

_Rory needed to know, but at the same time she really didn't want to know.  _

_"The end of the summer"_

_The end of the summer, that meant he'd leave in three months, maybe even four. First Rory felt joy, she had feared that he was going to say he'd leave right away. Then the joy turned into confusion and perhaps even greater pain. They had three months together, and every time she'd look at him, she'd know that he'd be gone. _

_Rory shifted so that she could wrap her arms around him. He held her tightly on his and she looked into his eyes intensely. 'How can I live without him?' she asked herself. Finally Rory buried her face on his neck. She felt his fast pulse, and took a deep breath when he pulled her even closer to himself._

_~End of flashback~_

"I guess you two know each other?" 

Cate's energetic voice startled Rory and she turned to see her new colleague trying to get some control over herself. Then she heard Pete's voice.

"Hey there!"

Rory took a step backwards when Pete walked past her to their guests.   

"I'm Pete Crawford, Rory's husband" 

Rory wanted to get away, she needed to get herself together and she had no idea how she'd be able to do it. 

Pete stretched his hand out to Cate who smiled at him cheerfully.

"Cate Zambrotta. And this is my fiancé, Jess Mariano"

Rory didn't see the look on Pete's face, but she knew he recognised the name and of course he'd seen photos of Jess. She looked at the two men, who were staring at each other confused and uncomfortable.

"Jess Mariano?" Pete said and took a quick look at Rory. 

It wasn't hard to notice she was upset although she was trying to look as normal as possible. Pete didn't really know what to say or do. It seemed that everyone standing in the doorway were completely mixed up, with the exception of Cate who was still smiling and looking at the others somewhat curiously. 

"Well, nice to meet you, Jess"

Pete reached out his hand. Rory looked at him and then her gaze turned toward the other man. Jess. He hadn't yet said a word, but right now he seemed a lot calmer than a few minutes before. His eyes locked with Rory's for a second, then he looked at Pete and managed to bring a smile on his face. 

"You too, Pete" he replied when they shook hands. 

Rory hadn't heard his voice in years, it was the same, maybe a bit lower. She closed her eyes for a second and tried to get her brain functioning again. This was not the moment to freeze, she needed to act normally. Somehow she got her legs moving again and stood beside Pete. 

"It's been a long time, Jess" she heard herself say so casually that it surprised even herself. She really didn't know where these sensible words were coming from

"Yea, it has" he replied and when he looked at her, Rory instinctively looked down.

"Well, come in, please" Rory finally said and smiled while Pete took Cate's coat and put it on the coatrack.

The four went into the living room. Rory's mind was racing, how did the place look, how did she look, and what was Jess thinking? Hadn't he known that she was Cate's new colleague? 

"I realised right away that you were the Rory Jess had talked about, so I thought I'd surprise you two" Cate said when they'd sat down.

Rory smiled at her and was glad to find herself talking rationally again, although she still wasn't sure what made her say these things when there wasn't really a clear thought in her mind right now. 

"Yea, well, I was really surprised. So, Jess didn't know about this either?"

Rory glanced at him quickly and he shook his head.

"No, I didn't know anything. Cate is full of surprises"

"It seems so" Pete said and chuckled slightly.

"I simply couldn't believe it when I heard your name, Rory. I thought it had to be you, I mean the name is so rare and everything" Cate said. "And when you said you were from Stars Hollow, I was sure"

"I guess there's gonna be a lot of catching up to do tonight" Pete said smiling and then got up. "Why don't I go and get us all a glass of wine before dinner?"

No amount of wine is going to make this situation less hell-like, Rory thought to herself, hoping that she had managed to keep the calm look on her face despite of her thoughts. 

"Sounds good" Cate said when Rory stood up to go and help her husband.

"We'll be right back, make yourselves comfortable" she said smiling faintly and before disappearing in to the kitchen.

As soon as Rory had got out of the room, she felt tears coming into her eyes. Pete's back was facing her while he was opening the wine bottle and Rory went to get the glasses from the cupboard. 

"You okay?" Pete asked with a rather strained voice and turned to see Rory.

Rory lifted her hand to touch her hair so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She nodded not being able to say anything. She didn't understand how she got this emotional, she shouldn't have reacted this way.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Yea" Rory sighed and she was convinced he could hear the tears in her voice.

She coughed slightly and took a deep breath. Get a grip, she told herself and when Pete poured the wine in the glasses she managed to give him a weak smile.

"It's gonna be an interesting night" she said to him and kissed his cheek lightly before taking two glasses

and going to the living room.

*10.00pm*

Dinner was good. It was always good when Pete made it. There had been a lot to talk about, so much had happened in the past seven years. Rory wasn't too eager to talk about herself and Jess had seemed pretty quiet, too. But Cate was as talkative as ever and Pete had been his usual chatty-self, too. In the end the dinner had gone well, at least considering the circumstances.  

After dinner others moved to the living room again, but Rory stayed in the kitchen for a minute to prepare some light snacks. Actually, Pete had really made them earlier, she was just putting on the finishing touches.

Rory had felt incredibly uncomfortable talking about her life. She had tried to be quick, telling her life story with as few words as possible. Jess already knew that she had gone to Yale, after all they had been together for Rory's first year in college, and Jess's only year in college. Rory had told them about her career at NBC, and finally about her marriage with Pete. Years ago, she hadn't imagined a situation like this. That she would be telling Jess how she got married to another man, and that Jess would be listening to her with his fiancée. 

Even weirder that telling him about her life, was listening to him talking about his. When he had left the US, he had gone to South America. Well, Rory already knew that but everything after that was new to her. She hadn't heard from Jess after the day he'd left, they'd agreed that it would be easier that way. Afterwards he had gone to Europe. He'd studied, worked and met Cate. 

"Can I help?"

She heard his voice and her heart jumped up to her throat. She had loved that voice. It had took her three years to get over the man whom that voice belonged to. Rory turned around and saw Jess standing in the doorway. The kitchen was pretty dim, just a few lights by the counter so he looked strangely unreal. Then again, right now, everything seemed unreal for Rory.

"Thanks, but I'm fine" she said quietly 

He nodded slightly. Rory didn't know what he was thinking. She didn't know that he was just as shocked as she was. He had had no idea that he would see Rory tonight, he hadn't been sure if he'd ever see her again. He had been caught completely off guard. 

Jess took a step closer to Rory and she felt a need to back further away. She was really trying to remain calm and act as normally as possible, but she knew she was doing a lousy job at it. 

"This is really… weird" she said finally and turned her back at him looking again at the snacks on the counter. 

"I know. I'm sorry, if I'd known that you were… you…"

"Yea, I guess a warning would have been good for both of us" Rory said smiling slightly

Jess nodded and said that the reason Cate hadn't said anything to either of them was that she didn't really know too much about their past.

"I've told her about you, but not… She knows we dated for a few years, but doesn't really know how… serious it was" 

Serious, that was the word he used to describe our relationship, Rory thought to herself  

"It's hard to believe that it's been seven years" she said turning to look at him again

"Yea, it really is" he said and he smiled. 

He hadn't smiled all night, at least not in a very comfortable way. But now, he really smiled, and it made Rory feel like crying and smiling at the same time. 

"Will you help me with these, please?" Rory asked and when Jess came to her, she could smell his aftershave. It was the same he had had all those years ago, and it was still as good.

Jess took the plate from the counter and took it with him to the living room. Rory walked after him, but stopped in the doorway to look at him more observantly. He looked pretty much the same as before, his hair was a bit shorter and his clothes a bit more grown up. But he still looked like himself, laid-back and casual. The biggest difference in him was that although he had never really looked like a boy, now he was most definitely a man.

"This looks delicious, Rory" Cate said when she saw her standing further away

"I can't take any credit for that" Rory replied laughing and went to sit on the couch next to Pete. "Pete's the one around here who's in charge of everything involving food, with the exception that I do most of the eating in our household"

"So, Jess's uncle has a diner in the town you're from, isn't that right?" Cate asked Rory and she nodded

"Yea, Luke is actually living with my mom these days" Rory said and looked at Jess. "I'm not sure if you knew that. I mean, you haven't been in contact with Luke, right?"

"I know he's with Lorelai" Jess said and looked rather serious. "I only talked to him once after I left, and that was a few years ago"    

"Well, we definitely have to go and visit your uncle, Jess!" Cate cried out and Rory looked up feeling the adrenaline in her veins. If her mother got together with Jess and his fiancée, it wouldn't end well. "We could all go to Stars Hollow some weekend, couldn't we? I'd see where you spent your teenage years and I'd meet your uncle and Rory's mom… Oh, that would be great!"

Jess smiled at Cate slightly and said that they might do that some time.

"But let's just get settled in here first. Then we can think about relatives and stuff like that" 

He really didn't want to go to Stars Hollows. He remembered the day he'd left way too well.  

_~Flashback~_

Jess and Luke were standing on the porch of the Gilmore House. Jess and Rory had spent the weekend in Stars Hollow and now they were heading toward Rory's flat. Jess was leaving in two days, and they had wanted to spend that time alone.

Luke sat down on a bench and looked at Jess warily.

"You're sure?"

Jess didn't look at him, he just nodded slightly. Was he really sure? He didn't know. 

Jess put his hands in his pockets when the door opened and Lorelai stepped out. The expression on her face was tense.

"Jess"

"Lorelai"

"Rory's just about ready"

"I've got coffee for the drive" Luke said holding up a thermos in his hand. 

"How considerate" Lorelai said, her voice filled with sarcasm

Rory walked out, with a bag in her hand. She looked at her mother, Luke and Jess standing on the porch silently. Then she smiled at Jess.

"I'm gonna take this to the car" she said, apparently wanting to give Jess and Luke more time to say goodbye.

"We better get going" Jess said and turned to Luke.

"Can't wait to get away, I see" Lorelai said, but Jess tried to ignore her reaching out his hand toward Luke. 

"Take care, Luke" his voice was firm and determined

Luke shook hands with him and then pulled him closer for a quick hug. Rory walked back to the porch and went to give her mother a hug.

"I'll come by in a few weeks, mom" she said as casually as she could. "Bye Luke"

"Bye Rory" he said also trying to seem relaxed, with no success. "Bye Jess"

"Bye Luke, Lorelai"

Jess looked at Rory and took her hand in his. They walked toward the car when Rory squeezed his hand slightly. He looked at her and the look in her eyes was full of affection.  

_~End of flashback~_

*Thursday, Midnight*

Rory had gone to bed right after Cate and Jess had left. Pete had just finished packing for his trip to Washington when he climbed next to Rory. He wasn't sure if she was already sleeping. 

"Rory?" he whispered, but got no response. 

He knew all about Rory and Jess. He knew that it had taken Rory years to get over him. He knew that she had practically worshipped him and that when he had left it had crushed her. Pete was worried, Rory had seemed really upset at first, but in the end, the evening had turned out okay. Everyone had become more relaxed and Pete had to say that Cate and Jess were really nice people.  

Pete kissed Rory's cheek cautiously, and then rolled on his side and turned down the light on his nightstand. Rory lied still, but when the light was no longer on she opened her eyes and stared into the darkness.   

A/N: And so their paths crossed again… Please review!:) 


	3. Chapter Three

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (well, still PG)

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, it's so much fun reading them! Especially laura mariano and LitJJAiken, I loved your reviews. Good to see you guys like this… And I'll be using flashbacks probably throughout this story, I think they give good and essential insight into things. And the flashbacks were all supposed to be in italics, but somehow it doesn't seem to work here… Anyway, here is chapter three, hope you like it. And even if you don't, send me feedback and let me know!:)

Chapter Three

*Jess and Cate's apartment, Friday 9pm*

Jess was sitting in his study, grateful for the fact that Cate had finally left for work and he got to be alone. He needed some time to think, and he needed to do it without any interruptions. He hadn't slept much last night, he'd lied in bed awake, trying to comprehend the situation he had unexpectedly found himself in. 

The room was dim, the window was covered by blinds which kept the sunlight out. Jess liked sitting in the dark, he could never write in the bright daylight. He looked around in the room, it didn't have much furniture, just a desk, a few chairs and shelves to cover all the walls. The shelves were pretty empty, Jess hadn't bought that many books while he was travelling, there wasn't really any point in buying anything else than paperbacks since he was on the move constantly. When he had left the US he had given all his books to Rory. He didn't know anyone else who'd appreciate them as much as she did, and he wanted her to have something that would remind her of him, as selfish as it was.   

Jess was tired, his eyelids were heavy. He took a look at his book, and browsed through it, once in a while stopping to read a few lines. How many times had he asked himself if he had made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving all that time ago? He had tried going to college, he had spent a year at Hartford Community College, but it hadn't felt right. He had needed to do something different, even if it meant he couldn't be with Rory.  

He had been pretty sure he'd never see Rory again. And he had thought that if he happened to run into her sometime, he'd somehow be able to handle it. But going to her home and seeing her with her husband had been like a slap on his face. He hadn't been prepared, he hadn't been prepared at all. When he left years ago, he had told her not to wait for him to come back. He had been honest and said he didn't know what was going to happen. He might be back or might not. He had admitted that he really didn't even know why he was leaving, he just felt a need to go. He and Rory had never fought about his leaving. Rory had understood that he was different, and for him college wasn't the natural choice like it was for her. But still, it hadn't made the separation any easier for either of them. He knew he had broken her heart, but neither of them was willing to take the risk of him staying and then later on possibly blaming Rory for missing out on something he had really needed to do. 

Jess sat in his study for a few hours, remembering and thinking. Finally he went to the bedroom, and sat on the bedside until he was so tired he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. 

*Friday, 2pm*

Rory had got off work earlier, she had told Bill she had a really bad headache and since she had been working so much lately, he was glad to let her go home a bit earlier than normal. Rory opened the door to the quiet apartment and after she had closed it behind her, she kicked off her shoes and dropped her coat on the floor. She usually hated it when Pete was away for the weekend, but now she just wanted to be alone. Since last night, she had waited for this moment, a chance to be alone. 

She went to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. She hadn't eaten anything all day, she had felt sick, she had had no appetite whatsoever. The fridge had leftovers from the dinner and Rory looked at them for a while. Then she closed the door and sat down on the floor. She leaned her back against a cupboard and stared into the distance. She had looked at Cate in the office today. She had realised that Cate was Jess's fiancée. That meant Jess loved Cate. Jess made love to Cate. Jess touched Cate the way he used to touch her. Rory buried her face in her hands. She hadn't cried for him in years, but right now she couldn't stop the tears. 

*5pm*

The phone was ringing when Rory got off the shower. She grabbed a towel and ran to the bedroom to answer it.

"Hello" she said breathing hard and sat on the bed with water dripping from her hair

"Hey Rory, it's Lane"

"Oh hey. Look, do you mind if I call you back in a few minutes, I just came from the shower"

"Sure" Lane replied and after putting the phone down, Rory went back to the bathroom.

She was standing in front of the mirror, she put the towel around her hair and pulled on a bathrobe. She looked like hell, but hey, that's what two hours of crying did to you. 

Rory went to the bedroom again and sat on the bedside. Since last night she had simply felt mad. She couldn't understand that this was happening. This couldn't be happening. This was like some cruel joke. She had no idea about what to do. Maybe I just need to talk about it to clear my mind, she thought to herself and grabbed the phone dialling Lane's number. 

"I didn't really have anything to talk about" she heard Lane's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Don't worry, I do" Rory said and laughed ironically.

"Is everything okay?"

"It depends on your point of view. Cate, a new colleague from work came to dinner last night with her fiancé. Guess who the fiancé was?"

Lane had no idea. How could she?

"Jess"

Rory said his name slowly, as if to make sure that Lane really understood who it was. There was a silence, then Lane asked her to say it again. 

"Jess is engaged to Cate. They met while he was in Italy two years ago and now they've moved to New York" 

"Jess? I can't believe it"

"Yea, well, believe me"

Again there was silence. Lane was sitting in her living room trying to figure this out. What were the odds that Jess would come back into Rory's life? Especially now that she was married and he was engaged. Lane couldn't imagine Jess engaged, at least not to anyone else but Rory. Ages ago, when Rory and Jess were still together, Lane had actually began to like Jess, she had seen that he and Rory were really good together. But then he had said he had to go. Lane had watched how Rory buried herself in studying and working. Rory and Jess had agreed that she wouldn't wait for him, but for two years she had been waiting for him to come back. Rory had never admitted that but Lane knew her. Finally she had realised that he was gone for good, and then, fortunately, she had met Pete. And now Jess was back.

"So how do you feel about it?" Lane said quietly, she had no idea what Rory's response would be.

"How do you think? Cate had realised that I was his ex-girlfriend, but didn't tell that to either of us because she wanted it to be a surprise. And it was, it took me five minutes to say a word"

Lane chuckled slightly while Rory fell on her back on the bed. 

"And?"

"And?"

"Rory, I know it was a long time ago, but I know how much you loved him"

"Yea" Rory's voice was barely audible. 

She didn't really know what to say to Lane. Her thoughts on the subject were everything but clear. 

"I don't know"

"Did you talk to him? I mean properly, alone"

"We managed to talk for a few minutes, he said he was sorry for the surprise"

"How did Pete react?" Lane asked sounding a bit worried. In the end Pete had been the one who dragged Rory away from Jess, symbolically that is.

"He… He was okay with it. Worried about me, but otherwise just fine" Rory wasn't sure if she should tell Lane that she had just been crying, feeling devastated because Jess loved someone else. It wasn't like she herself even knew why. 

"So, you had nothing you wanted to talk about?" Rory asked trying her best to sound casual

"No, not really. Just wanted to let you know that I'll be coming on Wednesday morning"

"Great, sounds good. Do you realise it's been over a month since we've last seen each other"

"Yea, it has. Well, we'll just have to make up for all the lost time when I get there"

"I'm sure we will" Rory said giggling and after a few more words the girls finished the conversation. 

Rory went to the kitchen finally feeling like she could eat something. Thinking about it, she had barely slept at all, she hadn't eaten since last night. That was probably why she was being so emotional. She was over Jess, she had been for years. She had moved on, she was happy now and her life was great. Why she had been so devastated to realise that Jess actually loved Cate, she didn't know. It had probably just been a temporary moment of insanity, caused by shock… or something. 

In Chicago Lane was still sitting down thinking that this was going to be interesting. And not necessarily in a good way. 

*Rory and Pete's apartment, Saturday 7.30pm*

Rory was lying on the couch with a book in her hands. It was an old one, it was Jess's. Oliver Twist. She hadn't read that book in years, not after she'd got together with Pete.  

The doorbell rang just as she was starting to feel a little num from lying still for so long. She got up wondering who it was and again she got to experience a shock seeing Jess standing in the corridor. 

"Jess!" she said and knew her face revealed her surprise

"Is this a bad time?" he said and looked at her apologetically. 

It took Rory a few minutes to respond, again she wished she would have been warned before he came, she felt somehow very unsure of what to do.

"No, I was just reading. Come in, please"

Rory closed the door after Jess and they went to the living room. Rory sat down on the couch while Jess sat on an armchair. He was wearing khakis and a black coat and he looked at Rory somewhat uneasily. 

"So, what were you reading?"

Oh great, Rory thought to herself. It was so obvious that she'd been thinking of him when she showed the book cover to Jess. The look in his eyes was softened when he looked at the book, then he smiled and looked at Rory.

"I actually came to bring you some papers that Cate said you needed before Monday" he said and took out some documents laying them down on the table beside his chair. "She would have brought them herself, but she's having a migraine. And I wanted to come and thank you for the other night" 

"Oh, well, it was great having you here. Shocking, but…" Rory grinned and was glad to see Jess smirking, too.

It was pretty awful for both of them to realise how uncomfortable they were in each other's company. It seemed neither of them knew what to say and what to do. Every word seemed calculated, and every gesture carefully thought through.

"Actually, I was just thinking that I have something that belongs to you"

Jess looked at Rory slightly curiously and when she got up he followed her to a small room next to the bedroom. It seemed to be her study, and it was a lot like his. A desk, a big armchair and bookshelves. Shelves filled with books.

"Wow" Jess said and smiled slightly looking around. 

"These are yours" Rory said and pointed at the shelves on one wall. 

Jess turned and looked at the books, then at Rory and again at the books. Yea, they were his books. He remembered all of them. He remembered where he'd got them ages ago and where their places had been, first at Luke's and then at his dorm in college. 

"They're yours now, Rory. You've had them longer than I ever did" he said and looked at her seriously. 

"No, they're not mine. I know how much you loved these books, Jess. They're yours"

Jess looked at the books again and took a deep breath. Rory sat down on the desk and looked at him attentively. 

"You know, I've always felt like I have a piece of you with me when I have these" Rory said quietly. "I think you need to take them with you"

Rory seemed serious. Things were just so mixed up, although everything should have been okay. They had both moved on, their relationship was in the past, but still… Jess was right there. 

Jess looked at her and found himself really confused. Rory was sitting there on that desk. She was Rory, the same Rory she had always been. It didn't seem possible that it had been seven years since he'd last seen her. It felt like it had been yesterday.  

Jess continued staring at her and Rory stared back at him, neither were really aware of their actions. If things were okay, then why did they both feel like their lives had suddenly turned upside down?

_~Flashback~_

_"Is it possible? For me not to wait"_

_He was standing behind Rory, she was sitting on the steps of the porch. Her words made him hold his breath._

_"I don't know how it could be" he said and sat down next to her. "But it has to be"_

_Rory looked at him, the look in her eyes was blurry. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he draped an arm around her. _

_"I don't understand how it could be possible for me to stop loving you just because I can't see you. If I stopped loving you like that, then this wouldn't have been love at all"_

_Jess listened to her and wondered why the hell he was doing this. This was a person he worshipped, he would have died for her and still he was leaving her. _

_"You do believe that I love you?"_

_"Yes" Rory whispered and took a deep breath._

_Jess wanted to say he wouldn't go. He didn't want to go. It was like something beyond him was forcing him to leave, and he didn't understand what it was. _

_"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds" _

_While he said the words he felt Rory tremble lightly beside him. He pulled her closer, but he felt that no matter how close she was to him, it was never enough. He couldn't get enough of her._

_~End of flashback~_

"Rory?" Jess said when he came back to earth.

"Yea" she said and turned her gaze to the books again. The tone of his voice made her heart race, it made her want to 

get away. 

"I'm sorry"

Rory was scared to look at him. She was afraid that he'd see the pain in her eyes. Although there wasn't supposed to be any pain left. 

"You don't have to be sorry" she said trying to sound reassuring

"I hurt you, Rory"

"Not intentionally" she replied and now she looked at him. 

The silence surrounding them was at the same time comforting and unbearable. It seemed they communicated not by speaking but with gestures and their eyes. They were both afraid to use words, maybe because there were no words. And even if there would have been, they didn't know which words should have been used.  

The doorbell rang. Rory got up and went to the door of the study. Then she turned, only to see Jess looking down, the expression on his face was pained. She closed her eyes for a minute, then got out of the room and took a deep breath as she opened the front door.

"Mel!" she said surprised as her friend hurried past her into the living room. 

Mel threw herself on the couch.

"My date cancelled on me! The idiot!" she cried out and rolled her eyes. 

Rory couldn't help but smile, but when Mel looked at her again, she tried her best to look sorry for her. Mel had at least three dates every week and usually she was the one doing the dumping.

"I'm sorry, Mel. The guy was probably an idiot"

"I just said he was" Mel said and sighed. "Anyway, I thought that since you're home I could come and pester you.  

"That was very nice of you" Rory said and then saw Jess entering the room from the study. 

Mel saw the look on her face and turned to see Jess who was now standing in the middle of the room.

"I didn't know you had company" she said and swiftly got up.

"Yea, this is Jess. He's Cate's fiancé and an old friend of mine. And this is Melanie, one of my best friends and a colleague"

The look on Mel's face was definitely worth seeing. It was a mixture of amazement, curiousness and confusion. Actually, she looked like she could choke any minute. 

"Hey, Jess. Nice to meet you" she finally said when she went to him and reached out her hand.

The two shook hands and Jess smiled at Mel slightly then glancing at Rory quickly.

"I was actually on my way out" he said and took a few steps toward the door. "It was nice to meet you, Melanie"

Jess and Rory went to the front door and stopped before Jess opened the door. They looked at each other silently, very aware of the fact that Mel was staring at them further away. 

"You'll come and get those books sometime?" Rory said and looked at him kindly. 

"We'll see about that later" Jess said and opened the door.

"I never really congratulated you on your book. Being published and all. What's the book about?"

Jess didn't say anything for a while, then he shook his head and said it was hard to explain. 

"You'll just have to wait until it's finally published"

"Well, I wouldn't miss it for the world" Rory said and smiled. "And tell Cate I hope she feels better soon"

"I will. Good night, Rory"

"Good night, Jess" she replied when she watched him step out to the corridor and close the door behind 

It took Mel just about a second to run to Rory. Mel was excited, it looked like she wanted to scream. 

"I can't believe this! I mean that's just why I came here. Cate said that his fiancé was your ex-boyfriend and that she'd surprised both of you and then I figured it had to be Jess and it was!" Mel took a breath after the explosion she'd just let out of her mouth. "He's gorgeous, Rory. This is so exciting! And why was he here?"

Mel was breathless when she followed Rory back to the living room. 

"There's nothing exciting about this, Mel. I'm married, he's engaged and we're both happy in our own lives"

Rory sat down on the couch and looked at Melanie looking rather annoyed. Mel was now calmer and more serious. She knew Rory well, and she also knew about Jess. It wasn't something Rory talked about often, but Mel knew exactly how much he had meant to her.

"I saw the way you looked at each other, Rory"

"Drop it, Mel" Rory said without a hint of amusement in her voice. 

"So, you're as happy in your life now as you were when you shared your life with him?" the tone of Mel's voice was serious.

"I really don't wanna talk about this, Mel" Rory repeated and her voice was so serious that Mel decided to drop the subject. For now at least.  

A/N: "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds", that's Shakespeare, not me, unfortunately…


	4. Chapter Four

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, I really enjoyed reading all of them, especially I was glad to see that some had really put time and effort into the review. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it!:) The Shakespeare quote in the last chapter was from Sonnet 116, I'll quote the whole sonnet in this chapter. 

So, chapter four has very little R/J interaction, this is mostly about people getting in touch with their feelings with a little extra added. Here it goes… 

Chapter Four

*Rory and Pete's apartment, Wednesday 8pm*

Lane had arrived in New York in the afternoon and now Rory, Pete and Lane were just finishing dinner. There had been so much to talk about, Rory and Lane had been speaking so much that Pete had hardly had a chance to say a word. Lane's big news had been that she was thinking of buying half of the music store she worked at. The other owner was about to sell his part, and Lane was definitely considering the possibility of becoming the new owner very seriously. 

"It sounds good and I think it'd be perfect for you, but it's a huge financial commitment" Rory said and looked at her friend seriously.

"Yea, it is and we've been talking a lot about it with Mark. But this a great chance, and Paul would be willing to sell his share to me. And business is great, we're doing better and better all the time. This is one thing I know about, and I really want to do this"

Rory smiled, she was definitely pleased to see her best friend this excited about something. Something else than the baby, that is. Rory hadn't asked Lane about the baby yet, she wasn't sure if that was a sore subject right now. But it was good to hear her talking about something completely different for a change.

Rory got up and took out the dessert, a delicious chocolate cake that she and Lane had picked up earlier from a nearby bakery. 

"Ooh, looks good!" Pete said and stood up. "I think I'm gonna take a piece of this and head for the bedroom. I'll have a quiet night in front of the TV so you two can have your girltalks"

"That's so nice of you" Lane said giggling. 

"But don't leave crumbs on the bed, I hate that!" Rory cried out after her.

"I know" Pete murmured and then grinned at his wife when he headed for the bedroom. 

*Jess and Cate's apartment, meanwhile*

Jess was sitting in front of his computer. He was trying to work on an article, but it didn't seem to be coming together. 

"Jess?" Cate peaked into the room and he replied murmuring something absentmindedly. 

"Mel from work just stopped by. We're gonna go out and catch a movie"

Jess looked at Cate and then nodded.

"Yea, I've met Mel. At Rory's when I took your papers to her" Jess added after seeing Cate's curious face.

"Well, come and entertain her while I change. I'll only be a minute"

He got up and while Cate went to change her clothes, Jess saw Mel sitting in the living room.

"Melanie" he said and smiled at the woman who stood up after seeing him.

"Jess. I hope you don't mind me dragging Cate away" 

"Of course not" Jess said and they both sat down again. "Would you like something to drink or…?"

Mel shook her head saying she was just fine.

"I really wanted to get out tonight and usually Rory and I go out to the movies, but now her friend Lane is staying with her… But I guess you know Lane, too?"

Jess nodded again, thinking way back to the times when he, Rory and Lane had spent a lot of time together. He asked Mel how Lane was doing and she filled him in on Lane's life.

"So, how do you feel about being back?" Mel asked after Cate had cried out that she was just about ready.

"It's weird" Jess admitted with a smile. 

"Seven years is a long time"

"Yea, it is" Jess said and noticed how serious Melanie seemed. 

"A lot has changed since…" Melanie didn't need to say anymore, they both knew what she meant and Jess nodded. "But some things never change"

Just them Cate entered the room again, and Mel stood up smiling at her. Jess stared at Melanie, he was confused, he wasn't quite sure about what had just happened. 

"I won't be too late, honey" Cate said and kissed Jess quickly.

"Okay. Have fun" he said and smiled at the girls who left the apartment.

After the door had closed behind them, Jess went back to his study. He turned on a lamp on his desk and sat down. "Some things never change" he said to himself remembering the words Melanie had just said to him. He rubbed his face. He knew some things never changed. But everything else had changed.

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 11pm*

Lane was lying on the couch and Rory was sitting on the floor. They had been talking constantly, and they were both pretty exhausted by now. 

"Lane?"

"Yea?" she replied and yawned simultaneously 

"How is the…" Rory wasn't quite sure how to ask the question, but Lane knew what she was trying to say.

After a silence, Lane turned her gaze from Rory and stared at the ceiling for a while

"We're still trying"

"Even though you're thinking of buying the store? I mean, it's such a huge risk and a baby at the same time…"

"It doesn't look like there's gonna be a baby anytime soon" Lane sighed and then sat up on the couch. "I know you think this is… I know we're in no hurry, but I really want a baby and so does Mark. I just… I'm scared that it's never gonna happen, Rory"

"A year is a short time in things like these. There's no reason to be desperate"

"My gynaecologist said that we should both get tested, to make sure everything okay"

Rory nodded saying that it was a good idea. She was sad to see friend in so much pain, she was sad to realise that there was nothing she could do for her. 

"So, you and Pete are still on the 'no children –zone'?"

Rory fell on her back on the floor and now it was her turn to stare at the ceiling. She had always thought that she'd want children, it had been a natural thing. But after she'd met Pete, and when they got married she had become more and more sure of the fact that children weren't in the cards for her. She didn't feel like she needed a child and Pete was pretty much on the same lines with her on the subject. 

"We're pretty pleased with the way things are now"

"Yea, it's weird how people are so different and want so different things out of life"

Great, now she reminded me of Jess and me, Rory thought to herself. Lane noticed to look on her face and she asked what Rory was thinking about. 

"I just thought about Jess. How we were so different"

"And still so similar" Lane said and smiled slightly. 

Rory sat up again and looked at Lane. Her words made her take a deep breath. It seemed that since Jess had been back, everything revolved around him. Everything reminded Rory about him, whatever she did there were constant reminders about her relationship with Jess.

"You think he was happy? With me" Rory asked, at the same time regretting that she had asked the question. In the end, it didn't matter now, did it?  

"You know he was happy with you, Rory. I know you doubted it sometimes after he'd left, but anyone who saw you two together would have said that you were happy together"

Rory smiled a bit, it was intuitive, and it didn't go unnoticed by Lane. She asked Rory if she wanted to talk about the new Jess situation she simply shook her head.

"There's really nothing to talk about. At first I was shocked, but now I'm just fine. Glad to see he's doing so well. Actually, he came by the other night and I told him he should come and get his books back"

"You think he'll take them back?"

"He needs to" Rory said pensively. "I think I need to give them back to him, it would bring final closure to this thing"

"You don't have closure yet?" Lane's voice was wary and quiet. This was not a subject she and Rory had talked about often. Lane could count their conversations about Jess after he'd left with the fingers of one hand. Jess had not been a subject Rory had wanted to discuss.  

"Of course I have" Rory said and the tone of voice was surprisingly tense. "I just want him to have his books back, I know he loves them"

Lane nodded and soon both girls decided to head for bed. Rory had to work in the morning and Lane had made plans to see one of her college friends for lunch. Lane was sleeping in the guestroom, which was also Pete's study. The room was tiny, but the sofa bed was comfortable. 

When Rory got to bed, Pete was already asleep. Rory was pretty tired, too, but still she didn't want to go to sleep yet. She kept thinking about Lane's words. She had closure, that's what she had been telling herself and everyone around her since Jess had been back. She'd kept saying that it was just shock, and she was fine. It didn't really matter that Jess was back, she had moved on and so had he. Yea. Rory hadn't seen him since he had stopped by last Saturday. She had found it difficult to be with him, and she had been glad when he left. But all week, she'd been walking around waiting to bump into him. She'd been waiting for him to come and meet Cate at work, but he hadn't. Rory closed her eyes when the thing she'd been trying to block out of her mind made it's way through. 

She was lying on her side, when she felt Pete turning and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Awake?" he whispered and she turned to look at him.

It was dark, the shades on the window kept even the tiniest rays of moonlight outside. Rory was lying on her back, when Pete moved closer to her and let his hand travel across her chest. Rory turned to look at the ceiling, then she closed her eyes. 

"Lane's here" she murmured back to him

"It doesn't matter" Pete said and shifted himself so that he was straddling Rory between his arms. "We're not that loud"

"Honestly, it'd be weird with Lane here" Rory said and pecked his cheek quickly. "Anyway, I was just thinking that I could finish some work now"

"In the middle of the night?" Pete's voice was a bit harsh

"That way I'd be able to leave work earlier tomorrow. I really wanna make the most of having Lane here. When she'd gone, you'll have me all to yourself again"

Pete looked at Rory for a while and then lied beside her again. Rory sat up and said she'd probably work for an hour or so.

"You just go back to sleep" she said when she got up quietly and went to her study closing the door silently after her.

Rory sat down in the dark room, she didn't want to turn on any lights. For a while she did nothing, then she got up and went to the shelves where all of Jess's books were. She browsed through them and then picked a copy returning to the comfortable armchair. She opened the book and easily found exactly what she'd been looking for. 

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come:  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

_~Flashback~_

_"I don't understand why no one reads Shakespeare anymore" he said when he pulled on his jeans._

_His hair was wet, he'd just come from the shower._

_"Anymore? I bet that next you were gonna say that back in the old days people still had respect for the literary genius of Shakespeare" Rory smirked as she sat on the side of the bed._

_She looked at Jess who smiled at her and then continued rummaging through his bag. Rory was still looking at him attentively and then smiled mischievously when she said_

_"But as much as I agree with you on the fact that Shakespeare was a literary genius, I'd have to say that right now I'm sort in the mood for Bukowski"_

_Jess stopped whatever it was that he was doing and turned to see Rory silently. Then he walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Before Rory even knew what had happened, he'd pushed her on her back and climbed on top of her. She looked at him, and without any hesitation she pulled his mouth to hers. _

_While kissing him passionately, her hands were right away on his belt buckle and after getting rid of the belt, Rory went for the buttons of his jeans. Jess slowed down their pace by pulling a bit further away and then kissing her bottom lip gently. Rory closed her eyes lifting her hands to his bare waist, letting his pants alone for a minute. Jess's lips teased hers, refusing to kiss her properly again. Slowly he moved his mouth to her earlobe, nibbling on it carefully and then pulling himself off her so he could look at her properly. Rory's hair was loose, she was wearing only a pair of his boxers and an old t-shirt, his old t-shirt. He tugged at the hem of the shirt and she lifted her upper body so that he could pull it off her. As she laid down on the bed again, he leaned down to kiss her newly exposed chest. _

_Rory's hands wandered to his hair again, they were always there. His lips moved on her skin, slowly moving down until they found the waistband of her boxers. Automatically Rory lifted her hips so that Jess had an easy job getting rid of them. Rory took a strong grip of his arm and pulled him up to cover her. Jess looked at her, when he held himself up so that Rory could finish opening his jeans and then pushing them down along with his boxers. Jess looked at her and then helped her get rid of his clothing. Then he froze, just looking at her, until Rory smiled vaguely and pulled him down to kiss her. _

Jess was lying on top of her, resting most of his weigh on his arms. He wasn't moving, he just looked at her. And Rory looked at him. He was too much for her, she knew it. The way he made her feel was too much, it wasn't something she could fully grasp, and above all it wasn't something that could be put into words.  

_His body was warm, it was familiar and Rory loved every inch of it. He rested his forehead on hers and Rory gasped when she suddenly felt him inside her. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her legs around him, and he trapped her arms forcing them down to the bed. He was leaning on his elbows as his hands took a hold of Rory's. He buried his face on her neck, she could feel his warm breath on her skin. She could feel his skin against hers. She could feel him moving inside her, against her. His hands were holding hers. _

_Their movements were rhythmic, coordinated and so instinctive. Jess's lips caressed her neck, moved to her earlobe while she moved more forcefully against him. _

_It was moments like these when the desperation was overwhelming. He was so close to her, they were entwined together and it was just as is should be. And she knew it would end. Soon he'd be so far away that she couldn't even comprehend it. _

_Jess let go of Rory's hands and moved his behind her back. Intuitively she wrapped her arms around his back and lifted herself slightly. In one swift motion they were sitting up and against each other. A small cry escaped Rory's throat as she rested her head against his neck and pulled him even closer to her. Jess's arms were around her, he was so close to her that she felt she couldn't breath.  _

_Rory was sitting on his lap with her legs around him. While they were moving against each other Rory really had to remind herself every once in a while to breath. Then he took his arms from around her and grabbed her face roughly forcing her to look at him. Rory opened her eyes only to see the look in his when he once again draped his arms around her. Rory couldn't look at him, she couldn't look into his eyes. His lips found hers again and she felt his heartbeat against her chest. She wanted to cry.    _

*3am*

Pete got up and went to the door of Rory's study quietly. He'd woken up to find her still missing from his side. When he opened the door to her room, he found her curled up in the armchair, her arms around her legs and her head resting against the side of the chair. Somehow she looked tiny, angelic, and innocent. Pete stood there watching her, breathing peacefully in her sleep. He was restless, and he didn't know to do about it. He'd been afraid to talk to her about it, he was still hoping that there was nothing to be restless about. He was still hoping that he was wrong.

_~Flashback~  _

_"Is this the worst idea in the world?" _

_Lane turned to see him and the expression on her face was serious. Pete sat down on the bench and Lane leaned against one of the pillars on the porch. _

_"Why do you think it is?" she asked him quietly._

_"I don't know"_

_"Pete" her voice was determined, she wanted him to be honest and tell her the truth. _

_"I'm gonna ask her to marry me, because I love her and I know she loves me. But there's a voice in the back of my head asking that one question, does she still love him like she did before?"_

_"You've already taken a chance with her. Think of how she's changed in these two years, and it's because of you. You made her live again when no one else could do it"_

_"But if she still loves him like that. I don't know what they were like together, because she doesn't talk about him, but the way she was after he'd left… He had this incredibly strong hold on her, and I'm not at all sure it's over"_

_"She's happy with you, Pete. She loves you. She loved Jess, too, but things are not the way they were before. You make her happy, and I know she makes you happy"_

_"So you think I should propose?"_

_Lane looked at him. She nodded._

_~End of flashback~_

Pete thought that she would be sore in the morning for sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. But he didn't want to wake her up either, so he just got her a blanket and carefully covered her with it. Returning to the bedroom, he couldn't go back to sleep. He lied awake, feeling he had lost control. He had no control over his life, he had no control over anything. He just had to wait. And he hated it.

A/N: Chapter five: confrontations. And please keep the feedback (good or bad) coming, it makes me ten times more motivated to write and update!:)


	5. Chapter Five

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG again, for a change)

A/N: I've read a lot of great fanfics, but really often the stories don't really concentrate on what the characters are thinking and why they act the way they do. With this story, I'm really trying to bring out what's going on in people's minds and why they make the decisions they do. Therefore the story is moving on rather slowly, so I hope you guys are patient.

And thanks so much for the reviews! I really enjoy reading them, especially when you point out what you've liked (or what you haven't liked) about the story. I'm really happy whenever I see I've got feedback..:)

This chapter has more Jess in it. You asked for it and I hope you like it! 

Chapter Five

*Jess and Cate's apartment, Saturday 6.30pm*

Jess pulled on his coat and glanced at himself from the mirror. He took a deep breath after asking Cate if she was ready.

"Just about, give me a minute"

Jess sat down on an armchair in the living room, he felt hot having too much clothes on inside. He shifted himself uncomfortably, in addition to it being too hot, he was anxious and tense. He didn't have a good feeling about this. When Rory had invited Cate and him to have dinner with some of their friends, he'd been surprised. He'd thought Rory didn't want to see him, and he was pretty unsure of the fact whether he wanted to see her. Well, he did want to see her, but in this situation… it was going to be another night sitting across the table to Rory and her husband. 

_~Flashback~_

_She was engaged. Rory was engaged. Rory was getting married. He held the phone to his ear, his eyes closed. The silence had lasted for a while when he heard Luke's voice again. _

_"Jess, are you still there?"_

_He nodded, and then realising that Luke couldn't actually see it, he mumbled something as a reply._

_"Are you okay?" _

_"Is she…" God, how hard was it to say a few words. "She's happy?"_

_After a while Luke's reply came and it made Jess both happy and miserable at the same time. "I think so" Luke said. _

_Jess opened his eyes and stared on to the lake. The water was sparkling in the sunshine, it was so bright that he could hardly see. _

_"So, you're doing fine? I mean, where are you?"_

_"In Italy. Lake Garda. But I'll head toward Florence soon, I got a job there for a while"_

_"Sounds interesting" Luke said and tried to clear his voice quietly. _

_"I have to go" Jess said slowly, feeling that he couldn't listen to Luke's familiar voice any longer. He took a deep breath before he said the next words. "Don't tell anyone I called"_

_With that he put the phone down on the table, just as the waitress brought him an espresso. He thanked the woman and then covered his eyes with his hands. He had never hated anyone as much he hated himself right now. _

_~End of flashback~_

Cate tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see her. She looked beautiful, as always. He got up and helped her put on her coat.

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 7pm*

Rory and Lane were finishing up their makeup in the bedroom. Pete and Mark were still in the kitchen, they had again been in charge of making dinner, the girls had only been responsible for setting the table. It had actually been Lane's idea to have a dinner party. As soon as she had heard that Mark would be able to come to New York for the weekend, she had suggested that they'd have a little get together with friends. Rory had agreed that it would be a great idea, and she had added also Cate and Jess to the guest list, which usually consisted only of her and Pete, Lane and Mark and Mel with her ever-changing date. The fact that also Jess and Cate had been invited had been a surprise to everyone, maybe even to Rory. 

"That was the doorbell" Rory said while applying the lip gloss. "I'm gonna get it"

Going to the door, Rory peaked into the kitchen to find Pete and Mark talking lively about sports. She continued to the front door feeling pretty distressed. She knew that if she hadn't invited Jess and Cate the night would have been far more relaxed. But she had invited them. In spite of everything, or maybe just because of everything.  

She took a deep breath while she opened the door and found four people standing in the corridor.

"Come in, please" she said as Cate, Jess, Mel and an unknown man entered the apartment. 

Lively conversation soon filled the hallway and Rory withdrew to the living room giving her guests some room. When they all sat down, Mark and Pete came from the kitchen to say hello to everyone. Rory did the introductions after finding out that Mel's date was called Patrick. Rory introduced also Mark and Jess to each other, but while the two men shook hands Mark said that they had actually met each other before. 

"Years ago, when I first started dating Lane. That was just before you…" Mark stopped speaking and glanced at Rory quickly not quite sure if he should continue. 

He was saved from an uncomfortable situation when Lane entered the room. She almost froze when she saw Jess. He had changed a lot but still he was practically the same as before. Pete went to the kitchen to get some wine for everyone and Lane stood beside Mark and Rory.

"Jess" she said and continued looking at him attentively.  

Jess looked at her and smiled. He had always like Lane, and it seemed to him that eventually Lane had began to like him, too. To both Lane and Rory's surprise he came to kiss Lane's cheek thoughtfully. 

"You look great, Lane" he said and smirked in exactly the same way he used to do years ago. 

Lane looked at him somewhat amazed, it was a bit of a shock for her too to see him right there, even though she'd known that he was back. He was just so… right there.  

"It's weird to see you back, Jess. But you look great, too"

"And you're married" he said kindly when Lane sat down next to Mark. "I talked with Melanie the other day and she filled me in on your life"

"Yea, things have really changed around here while you've been gone" the seriousness of Lane's voice didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

*10pm*

Lane and Mark had volunteered to clean up after the dinner, and when Rory peaked into the kitchen she found the two cuddling in the dim room. Pete and Patrick had found a joined passion for hockey, and Jess and Cate were talking to Mel until she got up and left the pair by themselves on the couch.

"Rory, could I borrow your computer for a second?" she said and Rory nodded leading Mel to her study and removing some of her papers from the desk to give her more room. 

Mel sat down beside the desk, but didn't look at the computer but instead at Rory who had sat down on the armchair.

"I was pretty surprised when you invited Cate and Jess. I though I'd noticed you avoiding Cate at work"

Rory looked at her curiously and then shook her head.

"No, I like Cate" 

"So you didn't ask them here just because you wanted to see Jess?" 

"No" Rory replied and thought that her voice sounded really strained. 

In all honestly, Rory had been avoiding Cate at work. She felt really uncomfortable around her, mainly because… Well, because his fiancé occupied most of her thoughts. 

"This is a really strange situation, isn't it?"

Rory looked at Mel and looked like she didn't really get her point.

"There's so much tension in this apartment, even though everyone seems to be getting along so well. Jess isn't really talkative, Pete is acting somewhat weirdly, mostly glancing at Jess pretty frequently. Lane keeps watching you and Jess, and I've been keeping an eye on everyone"

"You make it sound like some murder mystery" Rory said and chuckled. She tried to sound casual, but she knew Mel saw right through her. 

"Everyone can see that there's something wrong with this situation. Everything should be okay, and officially it is, but still if you just look around you can see that people are restless"

"And this speech came from our psychoanalyst, Melanie Wiltord" Rory said with an annoyed voice. 

"Rory. The facts are here for you to see. And maybe you do see them, but you just won't admit it"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mel" Rory said while getting up to leave the room. 

"Cate and Jess aren't getting married"

Rory stopped, but she didn't turn. She needed a minute to process Mel's words.

"Cate said that he'd asked if she wanted to get engaged, but he hadn't asked her to marry him"

Rory turned to look at Mel, the expression on her face was confused.  

"So, if you won't admit it to me, I guess I just have to say it out loud, Rory"

Melanie's voice was so serious that it made Rory stare at her attentively. Rory didn't want to hear her say it, but still she so desperately did. She needed to hear someone say it, although she knew she shouldn't.

"Everything I've heard about you and Jess, and everything I've seen has made me sure. The connection you have with him doesn't end. The kind of love you two share doesn't end. It doesn't end in seven years or twenty years. I know this because I had that connection with John. He's dead and I still love him just as much as I did the day he died"   

Rory looked at Mel seriously. She knew that Mel had really loved John, and that she hadn't really been able to move on after his death. 

"I know you, Rory. You try to hide it, and maybe even deny it from yourself, but you love him. You love him more than you love Pete"

After a long silence, Rory finally said "You're wrong" but her voice cracked making her words practically inaudible.

"You have a second chance, Rory. I know people who'd do anything to have a second chance"

Rory left the room, but went straight to the bedroom not being able to be with the others just yet. The room was dark, but Rory saw a figure beside the window. His figure. He turned, he looked at her. She was still standing in the doorway, trying to decide whether she should get out of the room or go further in. The decision wasn't easy, so she remained still.

"I'm sorry for coming here. I just wanted to be alone for a while"

Hearing his voice in the dark room, made shivers run along Rory's body. She took a step forward and said it was okay.

"I wanted to be alone, too" she said as her eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness and she began to see his features better.

They stood still for a while, then he walked toward her. Instinctively Rory pressed herself against the wall, trying to find some support in it. Now she could see him properly, and she swallowed as she felt it harder and harder for her to breath. He took a step closer. He was so close, almost touching her, but he wasn't. Jess saw her shiver as he continued looking at her. He hadn't been this close to her in a long time. He wanted to be even closer, but he couldn't make himself touch her. He remembered what it was like to touch her, he remember exactly how it felt like to touch her. He knew what it was like to miss touching her. 

_~Flashback~_

_Jess was lying in bed, it was 5am and the room was slightly chilly. Not that he'd complain, it had been too hot the whole summer. Jess couldn't understand how the Italians managed to sleep at night. He turned to look at Cate. She was sleeping peacefully, her dark hair was messy and she moved slightly in her sleep. She was beautiful, really beautiful. Jess lifted his hand to touch her bare shoulder, he did it gently, careful not to wake her up. _

The feel of her skin on his fingertips. He continued looking at her, and then pulled his hand away. The expression on his face was frustrated, he still couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel the way he'd felt before. Ages ago. He shifted himself a little. He closed his eyes, thinking about touching Rory. God, why can't I just forget, he asked himself. Why couldn't he just stop thinking about her, forget what it was like to touch her? But it was all stored in his memory, they way she affected him. The way he felt when he touched her. And the way he felt when she had her arms around him. He'd thought writing the book would help. He'd thought that if he wrote it on a paper, I would disappear from his mind and stop torturing him. But it hadn't. He'd just relived everything. Every insanely happy and painful memory.      

_Jess sat up hastily, shaking his head. Stop it, you're gonna go insane, he told himself and then got off the bed. He walked to the living room and opened the door to the tiny balcony. He stepped out and looked at the quiet street below. There were little stores as far as he could see and he read the signs absentmindedly. Then his gaze stopped at one shop, l'oreficeria, a jeweller's. He stared at it, he really needed to stop thinking about her. He needed to move on. After over six years, he had no choice.    _

_~End of flashback~_

Rory's eyes were so incredibly blue. Even in the dark room, he could see how blue they were. The look in her eyes had always seemed so innocent, but now her eyes seemed tired, and restless. 

Rory was standing tightly against the wall. His was looking at her so attentively that she felt naked in front of him. She felt he saw right through her and she didn't want him to see her. Mel's words kept playing in her head 'I know people who'd do anything to have a second chance'. Yea, Rory knew people like that, too.   

Jess looked straight into her eyes until she lowered her eyes. She couldn't make herself look at him, it felt like he was blinding her. 

"Hey" Lane voice was suddenly extremely loud and Rory turned to see her peaking into the room. "Hope I'm not interrupting, but we were hoping you'd come and fix us some good gin'n tonics" Lane's voice was perky, but the expression on her face was everything but happy.

"Yea, of course" Rory replied with a forced smile and raised her gaze to Jess again. 

He nodded slightly, the expression on his face softened as he saw her distress. Jess stepped back to give her more room and without another word she left the room.

*11.00*

The guys had headed out to check out a new pub that had been opened just around the corner. Now that the girls had been left alone, they were lying on the floor with their drinks. By now they were all somewhat drunk. 

"Why don't we play truth or dare" Melanie suggested.

Rory glanced at her threateningly and shook her head. She could see where Mel was going with this, and she wasn't about the play along with it.

"Yea, it would be great!" Cate said and laughed. "I haven't played that since I was a child" 

"Well, it is a bit childish" Lane agreed after noticing the exchanging of looks between Rory and Mel. Lane wasn't really sure what was going on, but it wasn't really hard to guess what it was about. 

"I have to agree with Lane on this one" Rory declared and turned to see her friend. "Anyway, I noticed you and Mark were a bit more cuddly tonight that you've been lately" 

Lane grinned and the others laughed. After she had given Cate a small briefing on her relationship with Mark and their current setbacks on getting pregnant, she admitted that a few days away from Mark had done her good.

"And I guess it was good for Mark, too" she concluded and Rory nodded saying it had seemed he couldn't keep his hands off her.

"Yea" Lane said and seemed to be moving into a dreamland staring into the distance. 

"What about you and Jess?" Mel asked Cate who was sipping her gin. "Plans for kids?"

Cate smiled and said they hadn't really gone that far in their plans yet.

"So, do you think he's changed much from the way he was when you knew him?" she asked and looked at both Rory and Lane curiously. 

"I don't really know" Rory said smiling faintly while she got up. "I'll be back in a minute" she said and walked to the direction of the bathroom.

Lane watched after Rory and them turned to see Cate. She wasn't really sure how much Cate knew about things, and she wasn't really sure what Mel was up to. 

"When I first got to know Jess, he was a rebel. He'd had a tough life and I guess because of that he was really… hard to reach. He didn't seem to care about anyone, or anything"

"He's still like that sometimes" Cate said pensively.

"At first I didn't really like him, but then he sort of grew on me" Lane said and chuckled. 

"Didn't you once say that being with Rory really changed him, for the better" Mel's words made Lane look at her with suspicion. 

Mel was definitely up to something, Lane thought and wandered why she was saying things like that in front of Cate. Eventually Lane just nodded at Mel's words. 

Cate looked at Lane for a while, then she just nodded silently. While the three girls continued talking about everything between heaven and earth, Rory was sitting on the bathroom floor. She was pretty sure about the fact that she had entered hell. And she had no idea how to get out.

*12.30*

Pete and Jess were walking toward the apartment, Mark and Patrick who had been on the middle of a heated sports discussion had said they'd follow them in a minute. 

"So…" Pete started, but he didn't know how to continue. He knew what he wanted to say, but he did think that asking Jess whether he was still in love with his wife was a bit too frank. 

Jess took a quick look at Pete but then turned his gaze to the pavement again. It was definitely awkward, walking around with Rory's husband. He was Rory's husband. It seemed weird, it seemed inconceivable. Come to think of it, Jess would have been anywhere in the world rather than here talking to Rory's husband.

Pete seemed nice. He seemed like a good man, a good man for Rory. And Rory seemed to love him. And be happy with him. And Jess hated it. How could Rory be happy with him? He wasn't the kind of man to make Rory happy. There were a million things in him that Jess thought Rory would never like. But still he seemed like a great guy, so there was no way Jess could hate him. Just thinking about all of this made Jess want to hit himself. He was responsible for all of this, so there was really no point in thinking about these things. He had left, he had told Rory to move on. 

The two men walked in silence to the apartment building and while they were waiting for the elevator, Pete turned to look at Jess. 

"Did you come back for her?"

Jess stared at Pete. It took him a while to realise what Pete had just said, but getting himself to reply wasn't that easy.

"No, I didn't" he finally said 

"But you wanted to come back for her"

Jess didn't know what to say, what was he supposed to do? Tell Rory's husband that Rory had been on his mind every day after he'd left? That he still loved Rory more than anything in the world?

The elevator came to the ground floor and the men stepped on it in silence. Going up, Pete got together the courage to say what he wanted to say.

"I've always felt like you have this hold on her, I don't know what it is, but…"

"I didn't come back to take her away from you" Jess managed to say quietly and looked at the man standing next to him.

"But you still want her" Pete voice was quiet and Jess closed his eyes briefly. There was nothing he could say. 

When they reached the floor where Rory and Pete's apartment was, both men were silent until they confronted a laughing group of women sitting on the living room floor. 

Pete and Jess were slightly drunk, too, but it was nothing compared to the state the women were in. They were laughing hysterically and Lane was rolling on the floor.

"We should head home, Cate" Jess said as he went to his fiancée. 

"I'm not really tired" she replied grinning and rubbed her eyes after managing to stop the laughter. 

Jess chuckled kindly and took her hand pulling her up. Cate managed to thank everyone for a lovely night and Jess then took her to the door helping her put on her coat. Rory sat down on an armchair, yawning as Lane and Mel tried to get themselves together as well. Rory glanced at Pete smiling a bit and then her gaze met Jess's. He was so serious and so familiar. Rory blinked fighting the tears when she saw the looking his eyes. Noticing her reaction, Jess turned away and helped Cate out of the door. Pete saw the effect Jess had on Rory, too. And Lane and Mel saw Pete's face when he turned away. The room was filled with silence for a minute, until Mark and Patrick rang the doorbell.     

A/N: The next chapters: Stars Hollow and more stuff happening. Reviews, please!    


	6. Chapter Six

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG again)

A/N: I'm really trying to get this story finished before mid-June, cause that's when I'll be heading toward Italy and I don't want to have this unfinished when I leave. Personally I hate it when people sometimes don't update their stories for ages. Then again, I'm a very impatient person..;) And to your luck my summer holiday starts next week, so I should be able to start updating more frequently! 

Again, I'm really thankful for your reviews, I read them over and over again to make sure I haven't missed anything you've wanted to tell me. Only one thing bothers me, some people reviewed the first or the second chapter but haven't sent feedback after that. That makes me think that you've stopped reading the story or just think it sucks. Anyway, if you recognise yourselves from this and if you are still reading then please tell me! Thank you!:) 

This chapter revolves around Rory and Cate. No r/j interaction here, but soon there will be! Read and review!!!

Chapter Six

*Friday, noon*

It was a beautiful day. Rory had left New York rather early in the morning so she was approaching Stars Hollow by midday. She had been really glad to get the day off work, a long weekend away from everything was just what she needed. When she drove through the town, she hoped that the change of scenery would make her see things more clearly. The fact was that she really needed the distance, from New York, from Pete, and from Jess.

Rory had had a tough week, actually a tough two weeks. Since Jess had been back, things had seemed so complicated. Everything had changed, in one night her whole life had seemed different. She had been happy until Jess came back, but now she was like a complete lunatic, an emotional lunatic. And she couldn't take it anymore, she had to do something about it. 

When Rory parked the car on the driveway in front of her mother's house, she saw Lorelai's car parked there, too. Apparently her mother was also taking the day off and Rory smiled thinking of how surprised Lorelai would be to see her. After getting her bags from the trunk she walked to the house and had just reached the porch when Lorelai ran out of the house to hug her.

"What are you doing here? I'm so glad to see you! When I saw you through the window I thought it just couldn't be you! Do you realise it's been ages since we've last seen each other!"

Rory hugged her mother tightly and laughed at her outburst. When Lorelai grabbed her bags and they went into the house Lorelai demanded an explanation to Rory's arrival.

"You just said a few days ago that you and Pete were going to stay home for your birthday"

"Well, he had to go to Washington after all, so I decided to come here. I needed a change" Rory replied and walked after her mother to her old room where they put her bags. 

"This is so much fun" Lorelai squealed and made Rory look at her smiling. "What do you say if we start celebrating your birthday right now?"

"That would mean lunch at Luke's?" Rory said lifting her eyebrow and then grinned when her mother nodded excitedly. 

"Luke is gonna be so happy to see you're home for the weekend" Lorelai sighed with a smile and dragged Rory out of the house.

It was definitely spring. Stars Hollow was at its best, the air smelled of spring and everyone seemed to be smiling. Rory was without a doubt feeling better than in ages. She felt like the pressure she'd been feeling in the past weeks had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt more like her old self again, calm and sure of herself. For the next few days she had a chance to escape everyone's prying eyes that were trying to figure out her feelings.  

In fact, Rory hadn't told her mom or Luke about Jess yet, about the fact that he was back. Rory hadn't wanted to go through the subject with them, it was hard enough when everyone else in her life was talking about it constantly. But this weekend she had to tell her mom and especially Luke. Rory thought to herself that Luke would be really pleased to have Jess back in his life, after all Jess was the only family he had, outside Lorelai and Rory of course.

While walking toward the diner, Lorelai babbled about everything that had happened in Stars Hollow since Rory had last been there. Rory listened to her laughing occasionally and enjoyed the sun warming her face. When the mother and daughter finally entered the diner, Luke came to hug Rory with a wide smile.

"I didn't know you were coming" he sounded pleased

"I though I'd surprise you" Rory replied smiling and settled beside the counter.

"Pete with you?" Luke said as he took Rory and Lorelai's orders, but Rory shook her head as a reply.

Luke and Pete got along well. It was definitely clear that whenever Rory came to visit and Pete was with her, Luke enjoyed the company of another guy. And who wouldn't, especially when the two Gilmore women were as energetic as they were.

While eating her lunch, Rory looked at her mother and Luke attentively. The really were a good pair, a funny pair and pretty unsuitable for each other, but still they seemed to be perfect together. Rory smiled to herself, when Luke came to pour her more coffee and Rory figured that she'd tell him and Lorelai that night. At dinner, she'd tell them that Jess was back. 

*NBC, 1pm*

Cate was sitting by her desk, playing with a pen she had in her hand. She wasn't able to concentrate, she hadn't been able to concentrate all week. She'd been thinking about everything, everything that had happened lately, since they'd come to the US. Things had changed around her, at first she hadn't really even realised it. But now she knew something was different, she just wasn't really sure what had changed and why. 

Eventually she got up and walked down the hall toward Mel and Rory's offices. The door to Rory's room was closed and the room was dark. Cate knew she had the day off and actually she had been waiting for a moment when Rory was away. Reaching Mel's door Cate knocked on it quietly and thought that she really needed to talk to Mel. 

"Come in!" Mel said as she saw Cate who closed the door after her and sat down on a chair. 

Mel babbled something about her work and Cate listened to her for a while, smiling occasionally. Then she got together the courage to ask the question she really needed to ask.

"Mel, I was wondering… Last weekend when we were all at Rory's you said something…" Cate stopped for a while and 

Mel looked at her curiously. "It's probably nothing, but you said that Rory had changed Jess" Cate concluded and looked down nervously.

Mel nodded and said that she didn't really know anything about it because she hadn't known Jess when he'd been with Rory. It was only from Lane and Rory that she'd heard about Cate's fiancé.

"Well, do you know if they were serious? Jess and Rory, I mean. Were they just dating or…"

Mel sat in her chair, the tense expression on Cate's voice told her all she needed to know. She was slowly starting to see the situation she was in. Mel sat up properly and then asked Cate why she hadn't talked to Jess about this.

"He doesn't like to talk about his past or himself" Cate said and smiled a bit. Jess was a mystery, even to her. She'd known it all along, his unwillingness to talk about his life and himself were things she'd accepted when they got together. They were a part of his charm. But the mystery did come with a price, it meant that if Cate wanted to know something, she had to ask. And it wasn't easy. "He's only mentioned Rory a few times before we came here and he never made it sound like it was anything serious so I didn't think… But then you said she'd changed him and I guess they are slightly awkward around each other when I really think about it and…"

"I think you should talk to Jess" Mel said and looked at Cate kindly. "These things are always so complicated and difficult, and after all they are none of my business"

Cate looked at her with her eyes full of hesitation. Mel found it hard to see her like this, she didn't want anyone to get hurt. But in the long run, this was for the best, for everyone. She was sure of it.

"So there is something I need to hear?" Cate's voice was so different from what it usually was. It wasn't strong and sure, but instead timid and quiet.

Mel nodded and right away Cate got up. 

"Thanks, Mel" she said and after giving her a vague smile she left the room without another word. 

Mel leaned back in her chair and sighed. This was going to be a tough time for all of them.

*Stars Hollow, 6pm*

Rory was sitting on the bridge, dangling her legs near the water. The air was getting cooler, but the sun still warmed her face nicely. She had her eyes closed, just enjoying the fact that summer was approaching, at last. 

Rory liked being on her own. She had always liked it, it seemed the best way to clear her head whenever things were troubling her. Of course talking to her friends or her mother always helped, but sometimes being alone was the best way to get things sorted out.

Jess had been back in her life for two weeks. It was a really short time, but it seemed like an eternity right now. Thinking about it, after getting some distance to the matter, Rory was – thankfully - able to see the whole picture more clearly.

The fact was that she had been happy with Pete. Sure she'd been incredibly unhappy when Jess had first left, sure she hadn't been able to move on for three years, but then she'd met Pete. It hadn't been love at first sight, it hadn't been the kind of love it was with Jess. It had been friendship that slowly developed into something more. And Rory loved Pete. He made her feel safe and loved. And he made her laugh. Rory had been together with him for four years. They knew each other well, Pete knew all about Rory, he knew all about Jess. Well, maybe Pete didn't know that Rory still thought about Jess. It was hard not to think about him. She had really loved Jess, he had been the centre of her world for two years. Well, he'd been the centre of her world for a few more years after that. Rory had been worried about him, she hadn't known if he was alive or dead, or if he was alone of if he'd found someone. Someone else. 

Rory brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She remembered back to the time when Pete proposed to her, it had been a tough choice to make. It had meant letting go of the past, letting go of Jess, at least of the hope that he might be back. Rory had never regretted the choice she'd made. She had been happy and she knew that Pete had been happy, too. But then Jess had been right in front of her. And everything had changed. 

Rory opened her eyes, it was miraculous that the place was just the same as all that time ago. She looked around, years ago she would have seen Jess walking to her, sitting down behind her, putting his arms around her. She would have leaned back and let him kiss her. 

After a while Rory was starting to feel chilly and she got up to go home. Lorelai had asked Sookie to come and cook the dinner, Luke had even promised to close the diner a bit earlier than usual. While walking toward the house Rory thought that now she had to tell them the news.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, 8pm*

Jess was having dinner with his publisher and so Cate was spending the night alone. She was actually glad, she needed to think, although she didn't know what good it would do. She didn't know anything, so she shouldn't jump into conclusions, she told herself. If there was anything she'd realised after moving to New York was that she knew so little about Jess, she barely knew anything. 

Cate went to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. She was feeling restless, she had nothing to do and Mel's serious face was haunting her. Eventually Cate rolled on her side and saw a book on the nightstand. It was Jess's book, literally, it was the novel he'd written. Cate picked it up and looked at it. She had read it before, it was a great book, a beautiful story. Jess had started writing it right after they'd moved together. He was definitely a great author and it was for sure that the book was going to be a success.

Cate leaned against the pillows and opened the book from the first page. She might as well read it again, perhaps get some insight into Jess. Although he'd said the book was in no way autobiographical, and it was very unlike Jess. The story was about emotions and a person's most innermost thoughts, when in reality Jess wasn't the kind of guy who talked about his feelings or his thoughts. The main character in the novel was an 18-year-old boy whose family was constantly on the move and who had never really managed to grow his roots anywhere. The boy fell in love with a girl, but was forced to leave her behind to follow his family and he struggled to find his place in the world without her.         

*Stars Hollow, the Gilmore House, 9pm*

Sookie had just brought the dessert to the table. While Lorelai looked at the cake in front of her with gleaming eyes Rory coughed slightly and said that she had some news. Hearing the nervous tone of her daughter's voice, Lorelai tore her gaze from the cake and turned to see Rory.

"There's something you should know" she said and tried to sound as calm as possible when she spoke. 

Luke, Lorelai, Sookie and Jackson were all looking at her attentively and suddenly she felt a huge amount of pressure piling on her shoulders. 

"This might be a shock to you, but… It's nothing bad" she hastily added when she saw the worried faces around her. 

"Actually, I think you'll all be pleased to hear this, especially Luke"

Rory smiled a bit, and suddenly she heard Sookie's voice cry out

"You're going to have a baby!" 

Everyone stared at Rory with wide eyes and Rory felt herself panicking, As if this wasn't hard enough as it was. She shook her head and tried to look reassuring.

"No, no, no! I'm not pregnant, no" she gasped and the others nodded taking a breath. "This isn't about me, it's about… It's about Jess. He's back"

A silence followed, a really long silence. Lorelai moved slightly in her chair, Luke looked really confused and Sookie and Jackson simply seemed to be waiting for someone else to say something first. As no one seemed ready to respond to Rory's words, Sookie smiled and asked how Rory knew he was back.

"Well, you see… We got a new employee at work, Cate, and it turned out that she's engaged to Jess. They met in Italy and they've just moved back to New York"

Again, no one responded and Rory continued explaining the situation to the others as neutrally as she could. Of course, leaving out the fact that her own mental status had altered dramatically after Jess's return.

"Jess is really back?" Luke said and smiled when Rory nodded at him. "He's okay?" 

Rory nodded again and smiled at the relieved look on Luke's face. She knew he had been worried about his nephew. 

"And he's engaged" Lorelai mumbled, more to herself that to anyone else. 

"He and Cate will probably be heading here sometime. Jess said that they'd want to settle down in New York before coming. I think he needs to get up the courage to see you, Luke"

Luke nodded and Lorelai turned her focus to the cake again. Rory was pleased that it had been so easy to talk about Jess. However she knew that there was trouble ahead, she was sure that during this weekend, she'd have to talk to her mother about Jess.  

*11.30pm*

Rory was getting ready for bed. Luke had gone to bed earlier and Jackson had headed home some time ago, too. For a while she, Lorelai and Sookie had been talking, mostly about their respective spouses. 

Rory climbed under the covers and looked around in the room. It was dim, she only had a little lamp on her nightstand. Her room was very much the same it had always been, the same desk, the same shelves and the same bed. It looked the same as years ago, and it had been years since Rory had last slept there. Usually whenever she and Pete came to Stars Hollow, they slept in the guestroom that Luke had made upstairs, it had a wider bed and somehow it seemed more appropriate. Rory thought that her old room wasn't really suitable for a married couple.

This room had memories. So much had happened here, she thought when she let her eyes wander about. Jess used to climb into her room through the window. Looking at it now, Rory could almost see him getting in. She smiled to herself and then laid her hand on the bed. This was the very same bed on which she and Jess had made love for the first time. It was a good memory. And on that chair they'd sat on when he'd told her he loved her for the first time. God, how was it possible that it had all happened almost ten years ago?

Rory felt something pressing on her chest and she lied down on the bed. It was Jess. He had always done this to her. He made her feel crazy, either deliriously happy or incredibly sad. With him, her feelings were strong, overwhelming. Sometimes Rory had wanted to throw up just because she loved him so much it hurt. Whenever she was with him, she wasn't in control of herself or her life. Pete never made her feel that way. Pete never made her feel desperation. With Pete, she was happy just being near him. With Jess, she couldn't get enough. Her relationship with Jess had been passionate and intense.  

Rory heard a knock on the door and then saw Lorelai peak in. She smiled at her mom who then stepped in.

"Just wanted to talk to you" Lorelai said and sat down on the bedside as Rory sat up properly herself.

"About Jess?"

Lorelai nodded and then looked at Rory seriously. They were both silent for a while. 

"I've been going crazy. And I've been going crazy trying to hide the fact that I'm going crazy from everyone"

Rory looked at her mother, not sure of what Lorelai's reaction to her words would be. But Lorelai simply nodded again, she looked calm and reassuring, encouraging her daughter to continue. 

"Everything is so different now. Everything seems to be revolving around Jess, everything reminds me of him"

"So, he hasn't changed much?" 

Rory shook her head saying that he was pretty much the same as before, more grownup, but otherwise practically the same. Rory looked at Lorelai quietly for a moment, then she looked at her hands when she continued

"Mel thinks I still love him"

"Do you?" Lorelai's voice was so calm and neutral. It made it easier for Rory to talk about this.

"Jess and Pete are so different. And my relationships with them have always been so different"

Lorelai nodded, she knew exactly how intense the relationship between Rory and Jess had been. With Pete, Rory's life had become more tranquil and steady.

"When I saw him standing in front of me, it felt like he had never left. I've missed him so much, mom"

"I know you have. I know that you didn't accept Pete's proposal right away because you weren't sure if you could let go of Jess. But I thought you had"

"That was two years ago, he'd been away for five years. I figured he wasn't going to come back"   

"But he did" Lorelai concluded as she listened to her daughter calmly. She was trying to keep her emotions out of her face so that Rory would have an easier time opening up to her. She looked serene on the outside, on the inside she was restless. 

"Mel said that I should be grateful that I've been given a second chance"

Lorelai nodded. She liked Mel, she was a great person, a great friend to Rory. Mel had gone through a lot in her life, but still she managed to enjoy everything she did. 

"Mel knows what she's talking about" Lorelai said quietly, making Rory look at her intensely. "Do you want to take the chance?" 

"I love Pete. He's made me happy. But Jess is... He's Jess"

Lorelai knew what Rory meant. She didn't need to say anymore. 

"And how does he feel? He is engaged"

Rory shook her head saying that she didn't know. "It hurts seeing him with Cate, it hurts to think that he loves her now. Still, when he looks at me… I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining it"

"You think he still loves you?"

Rory looked at her mother, she didn't say yes or no. She just stared at Lorelai, who sighed quietly. 

"You're married, Rory. And he's engaged. I guess I don't need to tell you that this situation is really difficult"

Rory shook her head and looked rather miserable. 

"But I'm really glad to be here, mom"

"It's good to have you here" Lorelai replied smiling and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Everything will turn out okay, Rory"

Lorelai left the room and closed the door behind her. She climbed upstairs and then cuddled close to Luke in bed. She looked at him and sighed when she thought about Rory and Jess.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, midnight*

Cate heard the door close when Jess came in. She immediately turned down the lamp on her nightstand and pretended to be asleep. She heard Jess walking silently to the bedroom watching her to see if she was already asleep. Then she heard him go to the bathroom and she shifted herself uncomfortably opening her eyes in the darkness.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt tears in them. She felt really alone right now, she felt really stupid right now. She should have known, at least she should have asked him to tell her more about himself. Her friends had been amazed at the fact that she knew so little about him, but she hadn't minded. She'd found the secretive side of him captivating, she had fallen in love with that mystery surrounding him. 

Jess came from the bathroom and climbed to bed next to Cate. She could smell his aftershave and she wanted him to drape his arm around her. But he didn't, he rarely did. She shifted again slightly, so that her back was facing him. She opened her eyes again, looked at the book on the nightstand. It was all so clear right now. Jess had described the girl of the novel vividly, he had written down every detail. Cate could see her picture in her mind. It was a picture of Rory.  


	7. Chapter Seven

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R 

A/N: I was planning on writing a short author's note (for once), but my plans were foiled when my computer or rather the internet refused to connect to fanfiction.net. It's the same problem I had when I was writing "The Day After Tomorrow" and at that time the whole thing sort of self-cured itself, so there's nothing I can do about it now, except wait. I'm again updating at school, which is difficult cause I'm already on my summer holiday. Right now I'm at my faculty library, I'll try to come here as often as possible to update. So, again, I am really sorry about this! 

But even though there's been a lot of trouble, I just have to smile when I read your reviews. Your feedback makes me so happy!:)

Chapter Seven

*The Gilmore House, Saturday, noon*

Rory had just got out of bed. She had slept well, in fact it had been a while since she had last slept this well. She was standing in front of the mirror in her room. She looked well rested, and she smiled. It was her birthday, she was 27 years old. Which actually meant that she was practically thirty, Rory thought and her smile faded.

"How's the birthday girl?" Lorelai voice was very loud when she entered the room and threw her arms around her daughter. 

"Feeling old" Rory smiled.

"I was beginning to think you'd never wake up" Lorelai sighed and shook her head. "I wanna go and have lunch"

"I haven't even had breakfast yet, mom" Rory replied as she began searching for something to wear.

"Well, you can have breakfast and lunch" Lorelai smiled when she left the room and Rory nodded approvingly.

*12.30pm*

Lorelai was just crossing the street when she heard someone run after her. Rory was jogging with her cheeks flushed and when she reached her mother she was breathless. 

"You could have waited for me, mom" she said when she saw Lorelai's smirking face. 

"It took you forever to get your clothes on" Lorelai replied when they walked over to the diner door.

"I was ready two minutes after you left" Rory said when she pushed the door open and stepped in. 

Rory and Lorelai continued bantering, until they noticed how quiet the diner was. It was full of people, but practically silent. They both turned to the counter to see Luke, and there he was. But he wasn't alone.

The Gilmores froze, just staring at the sight. Finally Rory got herself together again and managed to give a weak smile. 

"Jess, Cate, what are you doing here?"

Rory walked up to the counter and looked at Cate who was sitting down and Jess standing beside her. Luke was behind the counter, apparently very much in shock. 

"We woke up pretty early today so we decided to do something useful" Cate said after a rather long silence. "What a surprise to find you here, too, Rory. I thought you were going to stay in New York for the weekend"

"Yea, well, plans changed" Rory said and smiled a bit. "Luke, would you mind fixing me some breakfast and lunch? Pancakes, fries, coffee?"

"Sure" Luke said and after glancing at the three standing by the counter he disappeared to the kitchen.

Rory turned to look at Jess and Cate again, she knew everyone was staring at them, but she didn't care.

"Happy birthday, Rory" Jess looked at her and the warmness of his voice made her smile. Or maybe the way he said her voice made her smile. Whatever it was, it was a genuine smile. 

"Jess, it's nice too see you're doing well" Lorelai had come to stand next to her daughter.

Jess nodded and looked at Lorelai somewhat nervously. He hadn't known what to expect when he came back to Stars Hollow. 

"Lorelai, this is Cate" Jess said and when Lorelai reached out her hand toward her she glanced at Jess and said she'd heard they were engaged. 

"Yea, we are" Cate said and smiled a bit, sensing the tenseness in the air. "Nice to meet you"

"Well, why don't we girls go and sit down somewhere else. I'm sure Jess and Luke have a lot to talk about" Rory said and looked at Jess kindly when he nodded at her.  

*4pm*

Rory was sitting on the bridge. She'd been sitting there for a while now, thinking. It was clear that the weekend wasn't going to go like she had expected. It wasn't going to be relaxing, it wasn't going to be a fun weekend with her mom. The minute she had seen Jess in the diner, she had felt… She had felt bad seeing him together with Cate. But she had also been glad to see him, she hadn't seen him in a week. As if a week was a long time when they'd just been apart for seven years. 

Rory was staring into the water when she heard his footsteps on the bridge. She'd known he would come. She'd wanted him to come. She raised her head to look at him, his hands were in his pockets, and he didn't look a day over nineteen. 

"What are the odds of finding you here?" he said and was glad to see Rory smile at him.

He sat down beside her, not too close to her, but not too far either. He looked down at the water too, then closing his eyes for a minute. He hadn't been here for a long time, and the place was just the same. 

"So, what are you reading these days? Besides Oliver Twist, that is"

Jess's words broke the silence surrounding them, but Rory didn't mind. She didn't turn to look at him, but smiled slightly. 

"P.G. Wodehouse" she replied and then raised her eyes to his when she said "And you?"

"F. Scott Fitzgerald"

"I bet you've read all his books at least ten times" Rory replied and smiled at him.

"At least. Just wanted to reminisce" he said smirking. 

"So, how does Stars Hollow seem after all this time?" Rory asked, trying to make her voice sound as casual as possible.

"I think the town is as strange as it has always been, and it is weird being back. But everything looks just like I remembered. And this place here…" Jess looked around as Rory did the same. 

"Not much has changed around here" Rory replied and then added that probably the biggest change in the past years had been the fact that her mom and Luke now lived together. 

Jess turned to look at Rory and he nodded. He said it was weird seeing them together, although he had always believed that they would or at least should be a couple.

"You should have seen the celebrations here when they finally moved in together" Rory said and laughed. 

Jess looked at her and smiled widely. Her laugh was something he hadn't heard in a long time, her eyes were bright when she talked about Lorelai and Luke. Right now, she looked like the old Rory he used to know. She seemed to have forgotten how uncomfortable they usually were around each other.

"But mom still calls me every week to complain about him and his manners"

"I would have thought that Lorelai would be the one with the bad manners" Jess said chuckling and made Rory grin at him. 

Jess was about to continue and say that he'd been surprised that Lorelai treated him so nicely considering the circumstances. But then he actually considered the circumstances and thought that it was probably not a good idea to bring out the subject of him leaving. Now that Rory seemed to be comfortable around him, he didn't want to blow it. 

"So, is the town organising a birthday party for you tonight?"

Rory laughed saying that she hoped not, although it was probably unavoidable. Stars Hollow never missed an opportunity to celebrate. 

"But mom promised to talk to Taylor and get him to drop the idea. Right now I'd just really like to have a quiet night without any parties"

While the two talked they both enjoyed the easiness of the conversation, it felt good to be able to relax with one another. But still they were both careful about what they said, and they were both aware of the fact. When Rory started to head back toward the house, Jess said he'd stay for a while longer. While she walked through the town, Rory couldn't help the smile that rose on her face.

*9pm*

Lorelai had managed to persuade Taylor and the rest of the town to let go of the idea of throwing Rory a birthday party. So, Lorelai, Luke, Rory, Jess and Cate simply had dinner at the house and afterwards they were all sitting in the living room, watching a movie. 

Lorelai and Luke were on the couch, Rory was sitting on the floor before them and Jess was also on the floor leaning his back on the armchair Cate was sitting on. Cate didn't know what film they were watching, she hadn't exactly been paying attention. All day she'd been trying to figure things out, after all, this was the first time she'd seen Rory and Jess together after her realization of their history. It had been a surprise to find Rory here, but it had enabled her to observe. 

Seeing Stars Hollow, the place where Jess had spent his life before going abroad was interesting. It gave Cate a whole new perspective when thinking about Jess. She'd suddenly met so many people who'd been involved in his life when prior to this day she hadn't known any. She wasn't sure, about anything. She hadn't been sure whether to ask Jess about his history with Rory or not, and so she hadn't. Then she'd pondered if she should talk to Rory about it, but she'd come to the conclusion that she shouldn't. In the end, she had decided to act like everything was the same, she just needed some time to figure the whole thing out. She knew she needed to know more.

*11pm*

Rory was sitting by the kitchen table, eating some snacks that had been left over from earlier. Luke had already gone to bed and Lorelai had gone to the guestroom to make sure it was all fixed up for Jess and Cate. Lorelai had been very polite to Jess, surprisingly nice. It hadn't one unnoticed by Rory, nor Jess whom Rory had seen glancing at her mother somewhat suspiciously.

"Hey"

Cate's voice startled her slightly and when she came to sit across the table from her, Rory smiled slightly. The expression on Cate's face was obviously tense, and her fingers played on the table when she looked Rory in the eye seriously. 

"I wanted to apologise"

"Why?" Rory asked and seemed confused

"I didn't know that you and Jess had been so close. If I'd known, I wouldn't have… surprised you like that"

"It's okay" Rory said and smiled slightly. "You couldn't have known. Jess isn't the kind of guy who talks a lot about his life"

"You're right about that" Cate said smiling and then looked a bit more serious. "I just hope you're not holding this against me. I really never wanted to cause anyone any harm"

Rory smiled at her kindly and then said that things were fine between them. But no matter how calm and friendly Rory looked on the outside, inside her the guilt was driving her crazy. Cate had come to her to apologise. 

"It was a surprise to see him again, it had just been such a long time" Rory said quietly and Cate nodded.

Cate looked at Rory, who had turned her gaze to the snack in her hand. She wandered if it had been a good idea to talk to Rory, after all even Jess didn't know that she knew. The whole thing was just way too complicated, but Cate had needed to see Rory's reaction. Rory had replied to her kindly, Rory was probably one of the nicest people Cate knew. But maybe when Cate had looked her in the eye, there had been a twinge of… something. Hell, how was she supposed to know? The only thing she did know, was that Rory knew Jess, her fiancé, ten times better than she herself did.

Lorelai walked down the stairs and sat down with the two girls. They began to talk about other things, things they all knew about - Lane, Mel and work. However all three were very aware of the fact that Jess was not mentioned between them, not even once. 

*2am*

Rory sat up on her bed. She was feeling a bit chilly which was a nice change to the fact that she'd been too hot all night. She'd opened the door to her room as well as the window to get some fresh air. Now she got up to close the window and then sat down on the bedside again.

Pete had phoned her a bit before she went to bed, he'd wanted to wish her a happy birthday. They'd talked for a few minutes then he'd said he was in a hurry. Rory had told him that Jess and Cate were in Stars Hollow, it had been a pretty tough thing to say but Pete would have found out about it eventually anyway. His voice had been stressed, he'd sounded tired and Rory had felt bad. First hearing Cate's apology and then the tone of Pete's voice… Rory had never felt so guilty in her life. 

"Rory?" his whisper was low and gruff.

Rory jumped slightly and turned to see him standing by the door. In the darkness it was hard to see his face, but hers was lit by the moonlight creeping in through the window.

"Jess" she replied quietly and got up. 

"You okay?"

It took Rory a while to response and when Jess stepped into the room, the moon now revealed his face to her. 

"A lot of memories here" he said looking at Rory intensely 

She stared back at him and nodded. They were standing in the room, both wearing boxers and t-shirts. Though neither seemed to notice that, they were completely lost in the situation. 

"I haven't slept in this room for years" Rory said never turning away from him.

Jess was silent when he walked around the bed and stood in front of Rory. He was a bit taller than he use to be, but not much. Rory looked up at him, feeling her heart beating harder. 

"It's been an eternity" he said and his eyes wandered from Rory's eyes to her lips and back.

"Do you remember the night you left? We listened to the clock ticking, and I thought that time had never gone that fast"

"And you got up to take the batteries off the clock, I remember" Jess said and chuckled thinking about it.  

He looked at her, smiled for a brief moment and then he lifted his hand. It seemed to take him forever to get his hand up to her cheek. But he still didn't touch her, he just looked at her, hesitating. He hadn't touched her in seven years.

Rory closed her eyes instinctively as his hand was finally against her cheek. She shivered as if she was cold, and it felt like he heart actually missed a beat. He held his hand against her skin, it was warm and soft, and his touch was gentle.   

Slowly his hand moved down to her jawline, then down her neck to her bare shoulder. Rory opened her eyes. Jess looked at her and she could have sworn she saw tears in his eyes. Then he looked at his hand and then again into Rory's eyes.

"I'm sorry" he whispered apologetically, but his words were barely audible when he pulled his hand away.

Rory opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. He took a step backwards, moving into the shades again. Rory wanted to reach out her hand and tell him not to go. But she didn't.

Rory sat down on the bed, carefully touching her cheek. Why hadn't she told him not to go? Every cell in her body had wanted him to stay. Her mind had cried out that she needed him. But she knew why she had let him go. She had a ring on her finger and Cate was asleep upstairs. That's why.

Rory swallowed hard, realising her face was wet with tears. She tried to wipe them off but she burst into tears more violently. She tried taking a few deeps breaths but she couldn't. The tears just kept on coming and she wrapped her arms around her legs burying her head on her knees. 

Jess had left the room, but it took all of his willpower to get himself moving. He'd closed the door to her room after him, but when he got to the stairs he simply couldn't climb them up. He sat down on the steps and looked at his hands.

_~Flashback~_

_He ran his hand along her skin. Rory was lying on her side with her back facing him and he was looking at her attentively. He let his hand move slowly downwards from her neck, from her shoulder to her arm. She was completely naked and she was beautiful. She was lying still and he smiled when his fingers moved down her side to the outside of her thigh. _

_He let his hand rest on her thigh when his lips touched the back of her neck sending shivers along her body. He kissed her spine down to the small of her back, then let his lips wander to her waist as his hand moved up and over her abdomen. She turned to lie on her back and he lifted his head to look at her._

_Rory smiled when he moved on top of her, straddling her between his arms. He looked at her for a while, before he leaned down to let his lips brush against hers. Rory took his bottom lip between her teeth and tugged at it gently, making him lower himself so that he was practically lying on top of her.  _

_He knew she loved it, feeling his skin against hers, like they were in fact just one person. She pressed her lips against his, slowly deepening the kiss and letting a moan escape her throat. Jess kissed her passionately when his other hand settled by the side of her breast and rubbed it gently. He felt her move her hands to his lower back, he felt her nails against his skin and he rested his forehead against hers for a while to catch his breath. _

_Rory's hands moved up to his neck, and she began kissing his cheek, then running her tongue across his ear and in the end finding his neck. She wrapped her legs around his and then pushed him off her and to his back. Jess looked at her when she straddled herself on top of him, his hands settled on her waist and he looked at her attentively when she lowered herself on him. _

_This was Rory. When he'd first seen her, he'd thought that she was the most innocent and beautiful creature in the world. And now she was making love to him. She put her hands on his shoulders for support to help her balance herself better. Jess studied the expressions on her face while she was moving against him. She had her eyes closed, and when she leaned down to kiss him Jess rolled them over leaving him on top of her. He suffocated Rory's cry with his mouth and then pulled his lips away to look at her properly. Their eyes locked. Jess marvelled with the way she could move, her every motion was so smooth, it felt incredible feeling her against him. Her hands went down to his buttocks, pressing him against her. And her eyes were just so blue. _

_~End of flashback~_

"Jess?" Luke's voice startled him and he looked up hastily. 

Luke was standing just a few steps above him and looking at him worriedly. Jess sighed and then turned his gaze to his hands again. 

"You were in a haze" Luke said when he came to sit beside him on the stairs and stared ahead. 

Luke didn't know what to say. He was glad Jess was back, he was really, really glad. But at the same time he was confused and worried. And he felt guilt. 

"Maybe you should have come home then"

Jess turned to look at his uncle and looked strangely vulnerable. When Luke had seen him for the first time that morning, when he'd seen him with Cate, he'd known. And when he'd seen the way Jess looked at Rory, he'd been sure. He just didn't know what to do about it.

"I didn't tell anyone that you called. I wanted to tell Rory or ask Lorelai what she thought, but I didn't"

Jess turned to look away, it was like hell being in this house. At first he'd thought he'd be able to handle it, but now all the places, all the people reminded him about the past, about him and Rory together. 

"That's in the past" Jess said quietly, staring at his hands again.

"So you don't love her anymore?"

Jess held his breath, if he would have been the kind of guy who cried, he would have cried right now. Luke placed his hand Jess's shoulder, wanting to relieve the weigh he knew was on his nephew's shoulders. 

"You know what it's like to regret, Jess. I know that you'd give anything to change the past. Do you want to regret again? Cause that's what you'll do if you don't take your chance and tell her you still love her"

Jess got up and went up a few stairs. 

"She's married"

"And she loves you, Jess. It's in her eyes"

Jess stood there for a minute, then he climbed up the stairs and took a deep breath when he entered the guestroom silently. To his surprise the bed was empty and he saw Cate standing by the window. He didn't know that she had been awake all night, and she'd heard him leave the room earlier. She knew where he'd gone. 

Cate was looking out and she remained silent, when Jess closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed. He looked at Cate, not knowing what to do. It was a common phenomenon, everyone involved in these events would have said the same thing. Nobody knew what to do, not even Cate when she spoke

"The girl in the novel is Rory" her voice was quiet, her words like a statement rather than a question. 

Jess looked at her and he saw the pain. Just then he realised how stupid he had been, how he had been setting her up to get hurt. 

A/N: Please review! I'll do my best to get rid of these computer problems, wish me luck!;)


	8. Chapter Eight

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG again)

A/N: My computer is driving me crazy! Still not working, again updating at school… Anyway, I got some great reviews for the last chapter, so thank you everyone. And I was particularly glad to read your review, Knowhere, I'm so happy you like this story despite first impressions.. And those reviewing for the first time, great to know you're reading this and those reviewing very faithfully and taking time to give me feedback, thanks!:)

Also to anyone asking me is this going to end with Rory and Jess together, I really don't want to answer that, you'll just have to be patient and see. 

And I want to warn you that at the end of this chapter there's gonna be another author's note with me babbling on and on about sex and fanfiction. I'm sorry for bothering you with my opinions, but sometimes it just gets to me… But here's my new update, written in a hurry (meaning spelling errors and probably the worst chapter ever), but I hope it's readable.. Today was my only hope for updating this week. 

Chapter Eight

*The Gilmore House, Sunday, noon*

Rory was sitting by the counter at Luke's, she and Lorelai had headed there to have some coffee before Rory had to drive back to the city. Jess and Cate had already left, too, actually they'd been out of the house even before Rory had got out of bed. Apparently, Cate had had a lot of work to do and so they had headed back home, although promising to come again soon.

Lorelai had been acting strange all morning, and right now she was babbling about something completely irrelevant. Rory glanced at her watch and thinking that she should already hit the road she turned to see Luke with a pleading look on her face. 

Luke nodded at her, but Rory noticed how stressed he seemed. Jess's return had been a big thing for him, Rory knew that, but Luke seemed surprisingly exhausted and tense.

"Mom" Rory said when she looked at Lorelai again. "I have to get going"

Lorelai looked at her and stopped talking. She opened her mouth so say something, but then closed it again and turned to see Luke. He nodded at her and Rory looked at them suspiciously.

"Okay, what's going on here?"

 "Um, why don't we go and talk outside?" Lorelai said and Rory nodded kissing Luke's cheek for goodbye before she went out with her mother.

"So?" Rory crossed her arms before her chest and looked at Lorelai curiously. 

"Well… It's just that… Luke told me something last night…" Lorelai didn't know how to say it, in fact, she didn't know whether she should say it at all.

"What, mom?" Rory asked Lorelai and the expression on her face changed in to a concerned one. 

"Last night Luke told me something about Jess"

Hearing his name made her heart beat just a bit faster and now she was definitely more worried that curious.

"What? Mom, really, tell me" Rory's voice was quiet, but serious.  

"Jess called Luke two years ago"

Rory looked at her mother, trying to process the sentence she had just heard. Two years ago, that was when she had got engaged to Pete, and Jess had started seeing Cate. 

"He had asked about you, and Luke had told him that you were getting married and… Luke said that Jess wanted to come back"

"Two years ago? But he didn't come back"

"You were getting married" Lorelai said quietly and saw how her daughter's eyes were soon filled with anguish. 

"Yea, I was" Rory whispered and looked to the ground. "But why didn't Luke tell me?"

"Jess had asked Luke not to tell anyone that he'd called. Luke just told me last night, he feels… Luke thinks that if he had told you that Jess was about to come back, things might be different now"

Rory raised her eyes to her mother again, and looked at her pensively.

"Jess had asked if you were happy"

Rory didn't say anything, she just pecked Lorelai's cheek quickly and went to her car. Before Lorelai even realised that she was gone, Rory had already driven off. 

*Jess and Cate's apartment, 4pm*

Jess was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He'd been tired after the drive home so he'd thought he'd get a few hours of sleep. He looked at his watch realising that he had been in bed for a few hours, and still he hadn't slept. He sat up and rubbed his face. He and Cate hadn't talked all day, they hadn't talked at all after previous night. After Cate had told him that she knew about Rory, she had gone to bed saying she didn't want to talk about it. Jess had lied beside her, not able to close his eyes for a minute. 

Jess got up and went to the door. He heard the tv in the living room and then found Cate in the kitchen making herself some tea. Jess stood in the middle of the room, trying to think of something to say.

"I'm sorry, Cate" was the only thing he could come up with.

Cate acted as if she hadn't heard what he said and got a teacup from the cupboard. 

"Cate"

"What? What are you sorry about?" she cried out and turned to see him.

Jess took a step toward her, but then stopped not sure if she wanted him near her.

"Are you sorry that you wrote a book about her? Are you sorry that while we were living together, you were writing a book about her? Or are you just sorry that you're still in love her?"

Jess didn't know what to do, he knew there was nothing he could say or do to make this better. He had never wanted to hurt Cate, but only now he understood how wrong he had been when he had got together with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. About any of this"

"Well don't bother. You already managed to make me feel like the biggest fool in the world" Cate looked at him and the look in her eyes was a mixture of pain and anger. "Do you have any idea how I feel? Everyone else around me knew what was going on, but not me. I was here thinking that life was good, things were just perfect and then it hits me in the face"

"Nothing has happened between me and Rory since we've been back, I wouldn't do that to you, Cate"

"You're still in love with her, Jess. That's not nothing" Cate's voice was quieter, and slightly softer. 

She looked at Jess. She was so hurt and so angry. She loved this man, and now she knew he didn't feel the same way about her. It had all happened overnight, but the worst thing of all was that she knew he wasn't a bad man, she knew he hadn't wanted to hurt her. But he had, and he should have known that the whole thing would end in a disaster. He should have known that it would never work. He should never have told her that he loved her.

"I don't know what to say or do"

"That's because there is nothing you can do" she replied and sat down beside the table. 

She buried her face in her hands and mumbled something.

"I just… I just wanna be alone, Jess" she said when she looked up at him.

Jess nodded and left the room. He felt alone, and he didn't know if he had anyone he could turn to. 

*6pm*

Rory was standing behind her apartment door. She'd been there for quite some time now, preparing herself. She knew that Pete was already home but somehow she just couldn't bring herself to go inside.

During the drive from Stars Hollow, she'd been going through the events of the weekend in her mind. The closer she had got to New York, the more confused she'd got. The calm feeling she'd had at Stars Hollow had been replaced with the same chaos that had been with her before the weekend. 

Rory was just about to open the door, when her mobile phone rang. She answered it quickly and then heard Lane's perky voice.

"Hey, Lane" she sighed and leaned against the corridor wall. 

"Hey, and a very late happy birthday. I would have called you yesterday, but I had an incredibly busy day. So, did I catch you in a bad time?"

"Well no, unless you consider me wondering whether I should enter my apartment or not a bad time" Rory laughed. "Lane, I'm pretty messed up"

"Yea"

Lane wasn't her best friend without a reason. She knew her, and Rory knew Lane.

"I was at Stars Hollow this weekend, Jess and Cate came there. I don't know, I was feeling great on Friday when I went there, I was finally clearing out my thoughts and then Jess appears on Saturday morning and… Pheww… Anyway, babbling again, sorry. What about you? You certainly sound happy"

"Yea, well… Things are going really well. We've almost finalised the deal with the store and Mark and me… We're doing well" 

While Rory was listening to her friend, she could hear her smiling. And it made her smile, too.

"I'm glad to hear that, Lane. I really am. You haven't sounded this happy in a long time"

"I know. I just wish that you would… I really want you to be happy, too, Rory"

Rory closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I've got to get inside, Pete's waiting. I'll call you tomorrow so we can talk properly"

"Sounds good"

Rory put her phone into her bag and then took out the keys. When she opened the door, she heard the sound of the tv, and put her bag down on the floor. This was her home, but in all honesty, it wasn't a place where she wanted to be. Rory went to the living room and saw Pete lying on the couch. 

"Hey" she said as he turned to see her.

Pete sat up and looked at her seriously. Rory smiled a bit, not quite sure of how to act around him.

"You don't look a day over 26"

Pete's words made her laugh, suddenly she saw him for who he was. Her husband, whom she loved. He smiled at her and Rory saw just how much he actually loved her. She went to take off her coat and her shoes and then walked to the couch and sat next to him. He looked at her attentively, then kissed her. Rory wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her. It felt good being near him. They didn't talk, they just were close to each other. 

*Jess and Cate's apartment, midnight*

Jess shifted himself on the couch, adjusting his pillow and pulling the blanket to cover him properly. He'd moved to the couch voluntarily, he knew Cate didn't want him near her right now. And who could blame her? 

"Did you think about her when we made love?" 

Hearing Cate's voice startled Jess and he sat up to see her standing in the middle of the room. Her voice had been quiet, but in the silence her words had seemed sharp. Jess didn't say a thing, she had caught him off guard. 

"I guess you didn't… I guess when you made love to her…" she didn't get a chance to continue when Jess cut her off.

"Don't, Cate"

Cate went to an armchair and sat down to look at him properly. 

"We have to talk about this, Jess. I have to understand this or I'll go crazy. I mean, you hadn't seen her in seven years and still you love her"

Jess was not sure of what to say. Telling her the truth would brake Cate's heart, but she'd know if he was lying. So, he had to choose the truth.

"I didn't want to move to Stars Hollow when I was seventeen. I hated the place and I hated everyone there. Except Rory. It feels like it was just yesterday when I first met her. She was the complete opposite of me, but I… I'd never loved anyone before"

Cate listened to him, realising that this was the first time Jess had opened up to her. Just now Cate was starting to see Jess for whom he was, and she hadn't had an idea. 

"And you haven't loved anyone after her"

"It's not that I don't love you, Cate"

"It's just that you love her in a completely different way"

Jess couldn't deny it, he couldn't say anything. 

"I guess in the back of my head I was… I knew that I didn't know you, but I just loved you and thought that it would be enough…" Cate tried to sound calm and rational, but her voice trembled when she spoke. 

Jess wanted to hug her and hold her, but he knew he couldn't do that anymore. He just had to sit and listen to her, try to make this better somehow. He just hoped that he would be able to take her pain away.

"I want to ask you things and I want you to explain things, but I know it's no use because… because nothing is going to change the fact that you want her"

Jess remained silent, he was mixed up. He was feeling a million things, pain, guilt, loneliness, relief…

"I just need to hear you say it"

Jess looked at her. Her dark hair was loose on her shoulders, her brown eyes were black in the darkness. She was so beautiful and he cared about her, he really did. 

"I want her"

That night was a turning point for both of them. They realised that their life together had come to an end, and Jess said he'd move out the next day. It had all happened so quickly, but when Jess lied down on the couch again, he felt that for the first time in ages, he was really able to breath. 

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 2am*

Rory was lying in Pete's tight hold. Her back was against his chest, his arms clutching her to him. When she had come home, she had seen just how much he loved her. And just how desperate he was, fearing that he was going to lose her. 

That's why Rory had found it hard to return home. Being away from Pete and their apartment, being at Stars Hollow with all the memories, and Jess, she'd forgotten. Or allowed herself to forget, for a few seconds at least. She'd felt free when she'd been at the bridge, at the diner, the places she loved, the places that were a part of her past. Everything had seemed so different on the outside. But on the outside of what? Her life? Rory didn't really know.

They had made love. They hadn't made love after Jess's return, but now Rory had felt… compelled wasn't the right word, but maybe she had felt that it was something she needed to do, in order to get close to Pete again. They had drifted apart, more truthfully Rory had drifted away from Pete. But she had come back, told him that she wanted to make love. And he had held her tightly, wanting to make sure she knew how much he loved her, wanting to make sure that she knew how good they were together. 

Rory lifted Pete's arm off her, careful not to wake him. Then she sneaked into her study and sat down by the table. She picked up the phone and dialled Mel's number. It took just a few seconds for Mel to answer, but instead of the usual 'hello' Rory heard her mumbling something half asleep.

"I'm sorry I woke you, but I have to talk"

"Yea, I'm awake, no problem, talk" Mel said while she turned on a lamp on her nightstand.  

"My mom told me that Jess had wanted to come back two years ago, but then Luke had told him that I was getting married"

"So he didn't come back. Why did Lorelai tell you now?" Mel suddenly seemed to be very much awake.

"Luke only told her this weekend, cause Jess came to Stars Hollow to see him. And I was there, too…"

"Okay, give me a minute. You were at Stars Hollow and then Jess came there. Just start at the beginning"

"Pete had to go to Washington this weekend so I went home to… think and clear my thoughts"

"About Jess?"

"Yea" Rory sighed and leaned back in her chair. "And Friday was great, I was… And then on Saturday morning Cate and Jess showed up and I was… Jess was… I was happy to see Jess"

Mel listened to her, how her voice softened when she spoke about Jess. That was a good sign, definitely. But she also wanted to know what had happened with Cate, that is, if Cate had talked to Jess about his relationship with Rory. 

"Mel"

"Rory?"

"I wanted to be with him, Mel. I just wanted to sit by the bridge and look at him, see him smile and listen to him talking. He came to my room in the middle of the night and he touched my cheek and I wanted… He pulled away, but I wanted him to stay, Mel. I really just… wanted to be with him"

"I know" Mel said kindly. 

"I didn't wanna come home, Mel"

"Yea"

"Pete and I made love tonight"

Mel was silent. The way Rory had been speaking had made her think that things were heading where she'd hoped they would, but now…

"I came home and I saw him. He's… he really loves me. And I do love him"

"I know you love him, Rory. And I'm sorry for pressuring you on this Jess thing. I just want you to be happy" 

"I know that"

"So, we can go for lunch tomorrow and talk properly, right? We need to get you sorted out, Rory"

"You're incredible" Rory said and chuckled.

"Just do one thing for me before tomorrow. Think about this: If you had to erase either Pete or Jess from you memory, which one would you keep?"

A/N: If you don't want to read me babbling on and on about sex, please just skip this author's note!!!

I've joined many Jess and Rory groups on the net, and I read a lot of fanfiction, but it never seizes to amaze me how so many people can be so narrow-minded when it comes to R/NC-17 fics. I consider myself to be a very open-minded person, I think that sex is a very natural thing, it's nothing earth-shattering or terrible, just a natural and important part of life and relationships. And I guess most of you guys agree with me since you are reading this fic..;)

But just the other day I was reading a fic where Rory had had sex with Jess, and afterwards there were about ten pages written about the fact that she then felt like a whore. I was stunned, really really stunned. I hope that the writer of that story or anyone else for that matter, hasn't been raised with the idea that sex is something ugly and filthy. Of course, when you have sex for the first time it's a big deal, and it should be, but it is still very normal and nothing to be ashamed about. I mean, we get to see violence and people killing each other on TV and films all the time, but sex is still a taboo. I don't understand it and it makes me so angry!

Sure, some R/NC-17 stories are just about sex, but I can say that in my stories sex is never the main subject, although it's definitely an important part of the relationship between Jess and Rory in both stories that I've written. Thankfully, I've only been flamed once for the rating of my stories, so this ramble was just me pissed at people's intolerance in general. 

So again, sorry, I just had to get this off my chest. I hope you liked this chapter and please send me feedback!!!:) 


	9. Chapter Nine

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG again)

A/N: I had some extra time this morning, so I finished this chapter and headed for the library again to update. I really want to finish this story in the next three weeks, so I need to update more frequently. This most certainly will be my shortest author's note, I just wanna thank you for the reviews, each and every one makes me smile! And keep them coming..:) 

Chapter Nine

*NBC, Monday, noon*

Mel was just about to leave her office and go for lunch with Rory when she saw Cate standing in her doorway. Cate looked tired, and suddenly Mel felt a twinge of guilt, realising that if she hadn't pushed

Cate to find out the truth, she wouldn't be so hurt now.

"You have a minute?" Cate asked and after Mel had nodded she closed the door to the room to give them some privacy. 

Mel sat down on the side of her table and looked at Cate attentively. She knew Cate wanted to talk about Rory and Jess, but Cate's next words were a surprise to her.

"The novel Jess wrote, it's about him and Rory"

Mel's eyes widened, she stared at Cate not being able to say a word. Jess had written a book about Rory. 

"After I talked with you, I read the book again and I realised it. Anyway, he's moving out today"

"This is all happening really fast" Mel said and went to Cate who was still standing in the middle of the room. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm… I feel…" Cate turned her gaze away from Mel. "You're Rory's friend, I really shouldn't talk to you about this"

"I know this is a weird situation, but you can talk to me, Cate" Mel said and put her arms around Cate. 

Mel hugged Cate tightly and heard her sigh. Mel knew that she didn't have friends in the US, she couldn't even begin to understand how lonely Cate was right now.

"I feel so stupid. Everyone knew about them, except me. And I thought he loved me" Cate practically whispered when she went to sit on the couch in the corner of Mel's room. 

Cate looked at Mel again and saw her sympathetic face looking back at her. 

"Do you think Rory loves him?"

"I think… I believe that we all have soul mates. I know it sounds stupid and idealistic, but I really believe that, because I found mine ages ago. And I never saw Rory and Jess while they were together, but whenever Rory talked about Jess, it made me more and more sure of the fact that those two are soul mates. That's why they still love each other, even after all these years"

"It doesn't sound stupid, having soul mates. When I talked to Jess last night, it was the first time he'd ever opened up to me properly. It was special to hear him telling me about himself, and at the same time it hurt to hear him talk about her"

Cate managed to hide her sad face when they heard a knock on the door and Rory peaked in.

"Ready for lunch Mel? Oh, Cate, hey. I didn't see you there in the corner"

Mel and Cate looked at Rory somewhat hesitantly and Mel said she'd need a few more minutes to go over some stuff with Cate. Rory nodded and told Mel to get her when she was ready. After Rory had left the room, Mel turned to look at Cate again. 

"I can't tell you that I don't want Jess and Rory to get back together. I know you're hurting, and I know Pete is going to get hurt, too, but… I haven't read Jess's book, but you have and I guess it made you understand how much he loved or loves Rory"

Cate nodded and said that she felt she was living in hell right now.

"I look at Rory and… She's great, a wonderful person, and my fiancé, well ex-fiancé, loves her. It sucks"

Mel grinned slightly and Cate laughed a bit, too. Cate got up to go back to work while Mel told her to call her anytime she needed someone to talk to.

"But you know, there's a soul mate for you, too. It's not Jess, and that's why it's good that you two have gone your different ways. Now you have a chance to find the man who can't live without you"

"Right now I'm not so sure I can live without Jess" Cate said and smiled at Mel vaguely. "So, you really think Rory still loves him, even though she's married?"

Mel nodded. Rory did still love Jess. A whole another issue was whether was she going to do anything about it.

*Lunch, 1pm*

"I wanna feel like myself again. I've been a wacko lately, I hate myself right now. All I do is think about me and what I'm feeling and what I want. I feel I'm the most self-centred person in the world, and it's not who I usually am, at least I hope not"

Mel listened to Rory speaking, and she was trying to make up her mind. She didn't know whether she should tell Rory that Jess and Cate had broken up or not. She didn't know if she should tell Rory that Jess had written a book about her, she just didn't know.

She had been so sure about this, so sure that Rory should be with Jess. Now that things were going to that direction she didn't know what to do. It still seemed that their reunion was a very distant dream.

"There's an easy solution to all of this. Did you think about the thing I asked you to think about last night?"

Rory was quiet for a minute, then she nodded.

"Being at Stars Hollow made it real again. Up until now it was somehow distant and obscure, but there it was.. Jess was real again, he wasn't a memory anymore, he was no longer just living in my mind. When he touched me I felt more alive than…"

 "Rory, hang on a minute! I need to hear you say this. Are you telling me that you would choose Jess? Are you admitting to me that you would choose Jess?"

Rory looked at Mel and her excited and somewhat shocked face. Rory wondered if she was doing the right thing talking to Mel about this, but she had to talk to someone.

"On a very abstract level of thinking, yea, I would. But this isn't happening on an abstract level, it's happening right here and now. I'm married to a man who loves me and whom I love and Jess is engaged and I don't know… I mean, he had wanted to come back but then Luke had told him that I was getting married. Why did he want to come back two years ago and not before? And if he had really wanted me, he would have come and tried to see if he still had a chance with me, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. You can't know, and there's only one person who can answer your questions"

"So, you suggest I go to Jess and ask him why he didn't come back when I waited for him? Or maybe I should ask if he still loves me, cause that would be a very good thing coming from his ex-girlfriend who's now married" Rory's voice was slightly annoyed, but then she looked at Mel apologetically.

Mel opened her mouth, she had decided that she would tell Rory. She would tell Rory that Jess still loved her, she had to tell her. But then, the words just didn't come out and Mel sighed. It wasn't her place to say it, Rory needed to hear it from Jess, not her.

"I know this is hard, but in this situation you don't have the luxury of taking time and thinking. You're only going to hurt the people around you if you keep this up for much longer. You have to decide what you want, and you have to do it soon. Pete doesn't deserve a marriage where both parties don't love each other, and neither do you. This is hard, no one's denying that, but you'll just have to live with it"

Rory stared at Mel, she wished she could think like Mel. When Mel talked to her, things always seemed simple. And maybe they were simple, but Rory just didn't have the courage to see them that way. Rory nodded and Mel smiled a bit. This was hard, but a decision had to be made. A decision that would be best for all parties concerned. But how the hell was Rory supposed to know what that was? And maybe Jess didn't even want her anymore, she really couldn't know.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, 2pm*

Jess stood in his study and looked around. He had already packed his clothes and the things he needed on a daily basis. The other stuff he'd get later when he found a place of his own. Now he was just going to stay at a hotel until he found an apartment.

He looked at the phone on the desk and picked it up. He continued staring at the phone, after thinking about it long and hard, he had decided to admit that he couldn't cope alone. And he had realised that there was probably someone he could call.

Jess dialled a familiar number, but before anyone had the time to answer he put the phone down and left the room. He couldn't do it, he had never turned to anyone for help or support. At least not to anyone but Rory. 

Jess walked to the apartment door and looked at his bags. He was about to leave his fiancée, he was about to do something that would affect the rest of his life. And he hadn't talked to anyone about it. He turned again and was about to walk back to the study. But he couldn't get himself moving, his pride and uncertainty was keeping him still. Eventually he turned again and grabbed his bags. He went to the elevator and then headed for a hotel.    

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 6pm*

Rory was standing by her desk, going through some documents and them filing them properly. She was lost in her thoughts, there was so much going on in her mind. Was she a complete idiot thinking that Jess might still love her? But the way he looked at her was the way he used to look at her. And when they'd talked at Stars Hollow it had felt good. And he had come into her room in the middle of the night.

Rory smiled thinking about it, thinking about him. She would have said that she was falling in love with him again, but… She had never stopped being in love with him. Rory looked up from the papers and stared out of the window. God, she did still love him. After all the hard work she'd done to deny it from herself as well as everyone else, she still loved him.    

Rory was in her study and so she didn't hear Pete come home. While she was organising her stuff by the desk, Pete stood in the doorway looking at her. 

Ever since Jess had been back Pete had been afraid. And when he had felt Rory pulling away from him, he had panicked, trying to keep his distance to her as well, maybe to shield himself from the pain. He hadn't talked to her about it, he hadn't had the guts. But he knew, he just had to see how Rory and Jess looked at each other, how could he not know? But he didn't want to know, he didn't want to believe it. And last night he'd felt closer to Rory that he had in a while. But he still was unsure, and it eating him alive. He knew he should talk to her about it, but he couldn't. At least not yet.  

"God, you scared me!" Rory cried out when she turned and saw Pete looking at her with a smile. "Did you just come home?"

Pete nodded, but didn't get the chance to say anything else when Rory's mobile rang. She picked it up and Pete listened to her curiously when she shook her head and looked irritated. After a short conversation Rory put the phone down and looked at Pete apologetically. 

"Looks like I'm heading for London tomorrow"

"London?"

"Yea. That was Bill, apparently he'd forgotten to tell me about this although he'd known about it for ages. Anyway, there's a conference of some sort and I need to… And I'm not even prepared" Rory sighed and sat down in her chair.

"How long will you be there?" Pete asked with a worried expression on his face when Rory replied that she had no idea whatsoever.

Rory saw that Pete was disappointed, but that he was trying to keep his emotions off his face. Rory looked at him, and she felt she needed to talk to him. Tell him that she was… Rory felt he deserved to know. But about what? About the fact that Rory still loved Jess? Pete already knew that, he had always known and it was obvious in his appearance right now that he was scared he'd lose her. But Rory couldn't talk about it with him, she just couldn't. 

"I promised to call Lane today, but after that I was thinking that we could go out tonight"

"Actually, I was thinking of the same thing. There's a nice Chinese restaurant that just opened a few blocks away"

Rory picked up the phone and then nodded at Pete. When Pete had left the room, Rory put the phone back down and sat there thinking. She was going away, away from Pete, away from Jess and all the memories. She had to choose, either put Jess permanently in the past or… Thinking about the possibility of going to Jess and telling him that she still loved him was scary, but thinking that he might say he still loved her, too, that was overwhelming. 

Rory picked up the phone and dialled her mother's number. She needed to tell Lorelai that she'd be out of the country for a while, maybe even talk about Jess.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, 8pm*

Cate opened the door and silence that she encountered when she stepped in was something she hadn't been prepared for. She didn't turn on any lights, she just walked through the apartment in the darkness. She noticed that Jess still had all his stuff there, but then she went to the bedroom and noticed how Jess's closet door was cracked. Cate went to the door and opened it. The shelves were empty, and cold.  Cate closed the door and then sat on the bed, on the side, which Jess used to sleep on. She took his pillow from under the covers and held it tightly. It still smelled like him.

*Jess's hotel, 10pm*

Jess was lying on the bed, the hotel room was comfortable, but it was a hotel room. Not that Jess wasn't used to hotel rooms, maybe it was that he'd spent too much time in them. He didn't want to watch TV, he didn't want to do anything. Eventually he took out his laptop and thought he might as well get some work done. But that didn't work out anyway, he just couldn't concentrate. He was sitting in a hotel room alone, and the fact was that he had no reason to believe that the next day or the day after that would be any different. 

Jess got off the bed and reached out for the phone. This time, he didn't hesitate when he dialled a familiar number. It took a while before someone answered and Jess cleared his throat before he started talking to his uncle. Luke was just finishing up in the diner, so Jess called him in a good time. Luke hadn't expected his nephew to call, but he was glad, really glad. 

"Cate and I split up"

Luke heard his words and it took him a while to understand them. Jess was known to be spontaneous and quick in his turns, but they had been at Stars Hollow together yesterday. 

"But you were just here"

"Yea, it was… It was pretty quick, but it's really for the best, I guess. Cate found out about me and Rory and…"

"Wait! Are you saying that Cate didn't know that you and Rory had been together?"

"This is a complicated thing, I know. We talked yesterday when we came back to New York and we decided that we shouldn't be together. And I just…" Jess didn't know how to say it, it had been a long time since he had admitted that he needed someone. "Just wanted someone to talk to, that's all"

"You know I'm always here, Jess. So, where are you now?"

"Um, just a hotel until I find a place of my own. I have time since I don't really have working hours so I just…" Jess stopped talking when he got an idea.

Jess thought about it for a minute, then dismissed it as a bad one. He wasn't going to ask his uncle favours after he'd been away for seven years. The thing just wouldn't work out, it was a stupid thought anyway.

"Well, you could always…" Luke started talking, but he didn't really know how to say it. Jess wasn't exactly the kind of guy who accepted help voluntarily. "I have… If you wanna get away for a while, you could always come here"

"There?" Jess asked quietly, wondering how his uncle had known exactly what he had been thinking about.

"Well, the space above the diner is free, I haven't lived there for a few years now so… I mean you could write there and get some distance to things and… You know, until you get things sorted and find a new apartment"

"You really mean it?"

The tone of Jess's voice told Luke that his nephew was grateful for the offer. It seemed that he had grown up and matured. Luke knew it took a lot of guts to admit that he needed and appreciated his uncle's help. 

"The place needs a good clean-up, but otherwise it's yours if you want it. You don't even have to pay rent if you help me at the diner sometimes"

"I will" Jess said and realised that his enthusiasm shone through his voice. "You think Lorelai will be okay with it?"

"Yea, she'll be glad to have you here, believe it or not" Luke chuckled and after a few more arrangements made between the two men Luke went back to work and Jess fell on the bed, feeling that there was still some hope for him in the world. 


	10. Chapter Ten

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: I'm afraid I'm gonna be in a hurry with this if I want to finish the story before I go to Italy. I'm gonna be away for a month (I'm excited!!!!), so it would be a long wait for you guys if I don't finish this before that. And I think it would be too long so I'll try to update twice a week now, which is hard cause I spend half of my time at our summer cottage… and my computer still refuses to access the site. Life is hard, it really is. 

But as always, THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!!!! I've got so many great reviews that I don't know what to do! I can't even begin to tell you what it means to me to hear you guys say you like this. Especially 'IloveJess', I was so happy to read your reviews of both my stories. If my stories made you smile, then your feedback most certainly made me smile just as much. 

Hope you guys like this, and I promise I will do all I can to be able to update again on Friday!:)

Chapter Ten

*Stars Hollow, Wednesday 5pm*

Jess parked his car in front of the diner. It was a really bright and sunny day, he would have thought it was already summer had it not been so chilly outside. Jess stepped out of the car and looked into the diner a bit hesitantly. The place didn't seem too crowded right now, so he'd picked a good time for coming. The thing he really didn't need right now was the town gossipers circulating around him.

Jess went inside and saw Luke wiping the tables. He saw his nephew walk in and stopped to look at him. Jess had a very tense expression on his face, and Luke had to work really hard to make the situation a bit lighter for both of them.

"You're just in time. Lorelai is almost done upstairs"

Jess lifted his eyebrow when Luke told him that Lorelai had taken the day off work the clean the apartment for him. Normally Jess would have wondered why Lorelai was being so kind to him, but right now just the fact that he had returned to Stars Hollow occupied his mind. 

Luke and Jess went to get his bags from the car and when they returned inside, Jess stopped when Luke headed for the stairs. The sight was so familiar, and the truth was that he was a bit afraid that the apartment would be too familiar. Eventually he was forced to move when he saw Babette crossing the street and heading toward the diner, so he climbed up the stairs to the apartment door, which was open. He heard Luke and Lorelai's voices and took a deep breath before he stepped into the room.

Jess didn't even realise that Lorelai and Luke were observing him silently. He stood in the middle of the room, a room that hadn't changed at all in all the time he'd been away. 

"Your old room is ready for you" Lorelai's voice was quiet and soft, as if she was talking to a little boy. 

Jess looked at her briefly and nodded. He walked to the door of his old bedroom ad pushed the door open cautiously. 

Luke and Lorelai left the apartment silently, wanting to give him some privacy. While they walked down the stairs Lorelai noticed how moved Luke seemed. She took a hold of his hand and stopped him before they entered the diner. 

"What do you think will happen?"

Luke shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. But I'm glad he's home"

Lorelai smiled and hugged him tightly. Jess was home, but Rory was still very far away. 

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 8pm*

Cate rang the doorbell and unconsciously clutched on to her bag. It had taken her some time to come to this decision, although it had really been her only option since she knew it was the right thing to do. 

The door opened and Pete stood in front of her. She hadn't actually been prepared to face Pete. 

"Hey, is Rory home?"

Pete looked at her curiously and then explained that Rory was on a business trip in London.

"Didn't you know?"

"I haven't been to work for a few days. I've… I haven't been feeling too good" Cate spoke slowly, observing Pete attentively at the same time. 

Neither of them said a word, they just looked at each other. Cate wondered if she should tell him, and Pete wondered if he should ask her. Eventually both decided that remaining silent was the best thing and after a quick goodbye Cate headed for the elevators and Pete closed the door. 

Cate stood there in the corridor and knew she'd done the wrong thing by leaving. She knew it would hurt him, just like it had hurt her, but the longer he'd have to live in the lie, the worse it would be in the end. She walked back to the door and pressed the doorbell again. 

"I'd like to talk to you" she said after Pete had once again opened the door. 

When Cate walked after him to the kitchen where he was apparently just making coffee, she was trying to decide where she should begin. She glanced at her bag, wondering, and finally coming to a decision. 

"Coffee?" Pete asked her and after she had nodded he poured them both a mug and then sat down. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really. I have something with me" Cate started and took a book out of her bag. "I was going to give this to Rory, but now… I think you should read it"

Pete reached out for the book and then glanced at Cate.

"Jess's novel. Why do you want me to read it?"

"Because you're wife is one of the main characters" Cate said and truly hoped that there had been an easier way of doing this. "And Jess and I aren't together anymore"

Pete heard what she said but he told himself that he had heard wrong. How was it possible? It had been his only hope, the fact that Jess had someone, too. And now he didn't. He stared at Cate, who knew what he was going through all too well.   

"I know this is hard, cause I'm going through it right now, too. I don't know much about you and Rory, but I know all that handle about Jess and Rory. And you will too, when you read the book"

"You were going to give it to Rory?" Pete said quietly, looking at the book in his hands and then lifting his gaze to her. His eyes were filled with fear and pain, and hurt.

"I don't want… I don't want to do this, tell Rory that the man I love loves her instead of me. But I have no choice, it's the right thing to do and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stood in the way of that. Despite the fact that people are going to get hurt"

Pete looked at her, he seemed so mixed up, so confused. Cate stood up, feeling that she had done what she had come here to do. She wanted to do more, ease the pain that Pete was feeling, but she knew she couldn't. Nobody could.

*London, 9pm*

Rory was sitting in her hotel room, looking out of the window. London was a beautiful city, even in the rain, it was stunning. It was a shame that she hadn't had the chance to explore it better since all her trips there had been on business. 

Rory curled up on the armchair she was sitting on. She was tired because of the jetlag and the long day of work. She knew she should have gone to bed, but she didn't want to. She wanted to think, think about the past and the future. 

She looked at her wedding ring. She fingered it and sighed. If she left Pete now it would mean that she had wasted four years of his life. If she hadn't married him, he might have already found someone else. If she hadn't married him she would have been free when Jess came back. Except that Jess wasn't free anymore. And what sane person who wait for a man for seven years? Well, Rory had waited for five years, and she had desperately wanted to wait longer. 

So, did she regret marrying Pete? No, she didn't. She'd been happy, her life had been good. But yes, she did. If she still had a chance with Jess, if Jess still loved her. And she really believed that he did, it was in his eyes when he looked at her, in his voice when he spoke her name. Or maybe she was just imagining it, maybe Jess had moved on. But Rory knew him, he hadn't moved on. At least she hoped he hadn't. But she didn't know, she didn't know for sure and still she had to make up her mind. 

*Stars Hollow, 10pm*

Jess had managed to settle in at his new, well actually old, home. He didn't have much with him, just clothes, some cd's, his laptop and a few books. He stood in his bedroom and looked around. The memories were so vivid, so clear in his mind. 

_~Flashback~_

_He looked around in his room, practically everything had been put into boxes, there was only one book left on his nightstand. He was going to college, and he was nervous about it. He would never have thought that he would end up in college, but… life was full of surprises. The good thing was that in Hartford she'd be closer to Rory. That was definitely good, or better yet, excellent. _

_"All packed?"_

_He turned and saw her standing by the door. Her hair was up on a ponytail, her cheeks a bit flushed. She was smiling as he nodded. Rory walked to him and stood in front of him. She touched his cheek first with her hand, then with her lips. _

_"You look really good today" she whispered into his ear and made him chuckle._

_He took a hold of her hand and pulled her toward the bed. She practically fell on top of him, and then leaned down to let her lips brush against his. His hands wandered to the bare skin exposed on her waist and slowly moved upwards beneath her shirt. Rory tugged at his bottom lip gently, then slowly deepened the kiss. Her palm was next to his cheek as if to keep him right where she wanted him._

_Then suddenly, she pulled away and Jess looked at her curiously. _

_"So, will you read to me?" she asked although she was still a bit breathless._

_"Read?" Jess said with surprise in his voice._

_"You're reading Calvino, right?" Rory asked and after Jess had nodded, she moved to lie beside him. "So read" _

_Jess took the book from the nightstand and opened it from the spot that he had got to earlier that day. Rory's hand was resting on his chest, her head next to his on the pillow. She looked at him while he read, but he didn't mind. He didn't mind at all._

_~End of flashback~_

"Jess, wanna come down and have something to eat?"

Jess was still staring at the bed, completely lost in his thoughts when he heard Lorelai's voice. He turned and it was obvious to Lorelai what, or who, he'd been thinking about. 

"I did knock before I came in" she continued after seeing his confused face.

"Yea, it's okay. I'm not really hungry, but thanks" 

Lorelai looked at him seriously and after saying that he was more than welcome to go down later and eat something she was about to leave the apartment. 

"Lorelai? I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay here and cleaning this place" Jess's voice was quiet and Lorelai stopped by the door while listening to him. 

"I don't hate you anymore, Jess. I want you to know that I'm glad you're back home, despite everything that's happened in the past"

Jess looked at her seriously, but it was obvious he was still doubtful of her words. 

"She's never been the same after you left. She was hurt and depressed, she refused to talk about you to anyone"

Jess looked at her and swallowed hard. He didn't know how to react, he didn't know if he wanted to hear this. 

"But then, about a year after you'd left, she called me in the middle of the night. And the only thing she said was that she would give anything to have to you back. And her voice when she said it…"

Jess closed his eyes for a few seconds, feeling sick, feeling awful. Lorelai smiled slightly when she opened the door.

"I figured that there was probably something in you that I hadn't seen"

Jess stared at Lorelai when she left the apartment and then he went to the bedroom. He got undressed and climbed on the bed. Now he had time to think, to make a decision. He had to decide what he wanted and then go after it. But he was afraid, terrified.   

*London, Friday 6pm*

Rory had climbed up the stairs, hundreds and hundreds of steps, and now she was gazing over London. It was a bit like stepping into the world of Mary Poppins, seeing the chimneys, the roofs of the old houses and of course also the modern ones. She'd climbed up the stairs of St. Paul's Cathedral and the hard work and sweat had been worth the feeling she had right now. She was an outsider, and the fact that nobody there knew her was strangely liberating.

The wind blew her hair to her face, and she moved closer to the wall behind her. She didn't actually have a fear of heights, but still she wasn't too fond of standing on the edge and holding on to railings. She took a deep breath, and enjoyed the sun shining surprisingly brightly. 

Should she go home and tell Pete she still loved Jess, even though she didn't know if Jess still loved her? Or should she go to Jess and ask him if he still loved her and what he wanted? Or should she just go home to Pete and forget that Jess was back? That would cause the least amount of pain, to Pete and to Cate, but it definitely felt like the worst option. And how could she be thinking about this when just a month ago she'd been happily married and planning her future with Pete? She had been happily married, the whole thing would have been a hell of a lot easier if Pete had been a whacko of some sort, but he wasn't. He was great, sweet, funny, gentle, loving… Rory knew the list was long. How was she supposed to leave a man like that? But then again, how was she supposed to lead him on, acting like she had everything she'd ever wanted with him when she knew it wasn't true? But he knew it, too, he had known about her and Jess when they'd got together. So what did Pete think, should Rory just talk with him rationally and ask him? No, rationality wasn't the thing right now. 

Rory turned her back to the sun and went back inside. He looked at the steps leading down from the top of the church and slowly she started to walk down. She leaned against the railing since the stairs were steep and narrow and kept thinking. She hadn't even talked to Jess properly after he'd been back. They hadn't talked about the things that had happened while he'd been away. Jess didn't know how she'd felt when he left, he didn't know how she'd met Pete or how they'd got together. Or how difficult it had been for her to accept his proposal. And she herself knew nothing about his life n the past years. 

Rory stopped for a while, there was still a long way for her to go, the church definitely had altitude. Right now it seemed clear that she shouldn't be married to Pete when she kept thinking about another man 24 hours a day. But she'd thought about another man when she'd married Pete, she had loved Jess then, too. Gosh, what kind of a person was she? How had she got herself into this mess, and most importantly was she in it alone? Or was Jess in it with her?

*8pm*

Rory entered her hotel room just as her mobile phone started ringing. She answered it absentmindedly while she kicked off her shoes and threw herself on the bed. It was Lorelai who was calling in the middle of her workday. After Rory had told Lorelai something about London and the work there, Lorelai started babbling about how much fun it was to travel.

"Mom, you do know that this is sort of expensive. I mean your enthusiasm about travelling is… interesting to say the least, but we can talk about it when I come back next week"

"Yea, of course. It's just that… Sort of… You see, there's stuff happening around here, and maybe you already know about this or maybe not, but… Well, Jess has moved to Stars Hollow"

The next few minutes Rory was on the verge of tears as well as hysterical laughter. Because hysterical she really was. Jess and Cate were no longer together and Jess was living in Stars Hollow. And she was in London, isolated from everyone and everything. 

"Mom?"

"Yea?" Lorelai said quietly, she had no idea of what her daughter would say next.

"I'll call you back later" with that Rory ended the phone call and then dialled another, very familiar number. 

*New York, 3pm*

Pete was still working when his phone rang. He picked up his phone and recognised his wives number. They hadn't talked for a few days, not after Rory had called to let him know that she had got to England safely. 

Pete looked at the phone for a while, then put it into the pocket of his coat. It was still ringing, and it rang for a while, but eventually it stopped. Pete was staring at the pen in his hand, and then dropped it on the desk. He missed her, and he hated her. She was his wife, at least she had been until that one night. It had changed everything, torn them apart. And the worst thing of all, there was actually no one to blame.

Pete took his phone out again and searched Lane's number. She picked up immediately, and her good mood was apparent in her voice.

"I need your advice again"

Lane had been standing in the middle of the store, but now she quickly withdrew to the backroom. She sat down and encouraged Pete to continue.

"The novel Jess has written, is about him and Rory. It's about how much he loves her, how he's life is nothing without her. And he wrote it a year ago"

Lane closed her eyes, and sighed. She hadn't thought that it would be possible. Two, three years after Jess had left Lane had become sure of the fact that he wouldn't return. Until then she had waited, just like Rory, she had though that he'd come back. But after seven years, still in love with Rory, splitting up with his fiancée… And again Pete asked for her advice.

"I don't know if I was right or wrong the last time you asked for my advice. And in all honesty, I can't give you advice right now. You know Rory just as well as I do, you know what to do"

"Yea" Pete said quietly. 

"Does Rory know, I mean she'd in London right now and the last time I spoke with her…"

"No, she doesn't know, yet. But she'll find out when she comes back"

"I'm sorry, Pete" Lane's words were sincere.

A/N: It wasn't the greatest chapter in world history, but I'll try to make the next ones (I don't know how many chapters there will be) better. Review, please!:)


	11. Chapter Eleven

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: I can't help feeling that this story is getting worse with every chapter, but I hope that's not the case. Next week I'll try to update on Monday or Tuesday, then again maybe Thursday or Friday. It might be that I'll post the last chapters at the end of July, because the more I rush with this, the worse it's gonna be. We should have some R/J interaction soon. This chapter unfortunately doesn't have any, but be patient.

And as always, thanks for the feedback!

Chapter Eleven

*Luke's, Saturday 10pm*

Jess walked down the stairs and as he entered the diner people stopped talking and stared at him. Everyone was there, Miss Patty, Babette, Kirk, even Taylor. Actually it was a bit amusing to see their focused faces looking at him, and when he turned to look at Luke his uncle shook his head with a smile.

"You're probably hungry" he said as his nephew sat down.

"Yea, I am. I was actually thinking that I could help you out today"

"You don't have anything better to do?" Luke asked as he poured Jess a mug of coffee.

"You know, the book is finished, and I'm just writing an article… Nothing special"

Luke sat down and looked at Jess curiously. They hadn't had the chance to talk about his work before and he was interested, very interested.

"When is the book gonna be published? I mean, do you think I could have a sneak preview of it?" Luke smirked, but seeing Jess's serious face he looked at him observantly. 

"It's…" Jess began to talk seriously, but then he started to smile. "It's a book about… this guy and he's sort of me and…"

"It's an autobiography?" Luke asked and seemed surprised. "Wow, is it about your travels, or.."

"It's about everything, it's… And then there's a girl…" Jess looked at his coffee mug when he spoke, and slowly Luke was getting it. 

Luke glanced around, noticing that most people had already started talking again, but the biggest gossipers were still staring at him and his nephew. 

"Why don't you eat properly now, and then I could leave this place to Ceasar for a while and we could go for a walk or something?"

Jess looked up at his uncle and smiled. It sounded like a good plan. 

*London, 3pm*

Rory had gone shopping with one of her colleagues from BBC and when she dragged herself back to the hotel room, she was exhausted. The sun was shining, and it was warm, it was practically summer in London. 

Rory thought about taking a nap, she had eaten too much for lunch and her feet were killing her. In the evening she'd go out to the theatre, and she was really looking forward to it. She lay down on the bed, but she couldn't even think about sleeping. She picked up the phone, and dialled, at the same time thinking that her next phone bill would be phenomenally big. 

Mel was sitting in her office in New York, she often worked on Saturdays, when she answered her phone. She wasn't surprised to hear from Rory, she'd been expecting this call.

"So, you know" 

Rory heard Mel's first words and she was perplexed. What on earth did Mel mean, because she couldn't mean the thing Rory had been thinking of.

"About what?"

"Jess and Cate, the book…"

"Well, how do you know? You talked to Cate?" Rory asked with amazement in her voice. 

"Yea, Cate told me last Monday, but then Lane called me and told me that Pete had called her, and then I called Lorelai and she said that she'd called you so I was just…"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Rory sat up on her bed, not sure if she had heard Mel correctly. "What's going on here? You knew Cate and Jess had split up even before I left?"

Mel had a lot of explaining to do, how she'd pushed Cate to find out the truth, how Cate and Jess had broke up and Cate had told her everything. And how the book had been in the centre of it all.

"The book?" Rory asked, she wasn't sure if Mel was sane anymore because nothing she said seemed to make sense.

Just then Mel realised it, Rory didn't know about the book yet. Mel knew because Cate had told her, and also Pete knew because, according to Lane, Cate had given the book to him. But Lorelai probably didn't know about the book and Mel hadn't said anything about it, so… Rory only knew that Jess and Cate had split up, she didn't know that Jess still loved her.

"Okay, let's just take this easy. Have you… come to a decision?" Mel asked trying to make Rory forget the book.

"Yea" Rory said quietly, it felt strange admitting it, saying it aloud. "I made it in a second when my mom called yesterday. And then I tried to call Pete but he wouldn't pick up and… But didn't you say that Pete had called you or Lane or what.." 

"Oh, well, that's not important now" Mel said hastily, wanting to hear what Rory had to say. "Tell me what you're going to do"

"I haven't really thought about anything but this… I know I can't be with Pete anymore, I guess I never should have been" Rory's voice was so quiet that Mel had a hard time hearing her. 

Mel thought that she would faint. She thought that she should scream, or laugh or cry. Rory had made the right decision, the only decision Mel had seen possible. And she had made the decision even thought she wasn't sure of Jess and his feelings. In the end, Mel had tears in her eyes and she sniffled.

"You're not crying, are you?" Rory asked her friend and smiled slightly.  

"No, just… I think you made the right choice, Rory. But what are you gonna do about Jess?"

"I'm gonna take things one at a time. First I need to talk with Pete. Then I'll think about Jess" 

"You know, Pete will be prepared. Cate already talked with him"

For a while the girls talked about how Rory would handle the situation with Pete and then Mel asked when Rory would be getting back. 

"I could have left last night, but I wanted to stay over the weekend. Being alone has been really good for me"

"Good to hear it" Mel said kindly, knowing that Rory had a tough and emotional time ahead of her. 

When they ended the call Rory leaned back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. When she had said to Mel that she would think about the situation with Jess after she'd cleared things out with Pete, she hadn't been completely honest. She thought about Jess all the time.

_~Flashback~ _

_He was standing by the counter, talking to Luke. He had such dark hair, it was almost black and a bit messy. He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans, they were a bit baggy but perfect for him. And he had a shirt that Rory had got for him when they'd been to New York together for the first time.   _

_She was lost in observing him, watching him, his expressions and the way he moved. His body language was so familiar to her, but she could have spent hours just looking at him. It seemed so unreal, that she'd woken up next to him in the morning, he'd smiled at her and held her against him. It seemed so surreal that he loved her, he loved her and no one else. She knew things about him, she knew what kind of boxers he was wearing under his jeans. She knew more about him than anyone else in this place, maybe she knew more than anyone in the world. He was such a mystery to everyone, but not her. Well, of course, he had his secretive side, but still with her he was so different than with others. _

_He turned slowly, he turned to look at her. She knew that he knew what she'd been thinking of. It wasn't rare for him to catch her wondering about the sight in front of her. He smiled, not much, but enough to make her heart miss a beat. _

_~End of flashback~_

Rory smiled to herself and rolled on her side. She'd have that nap, so she set her alarm clock to wake her two hours later. She closed her eyes and still, the smile was on her lips. 

*New York, 6pm*

Mel knocked on the door of Rory and Pete's apartment, she knew she couldn't do much about the way things would develop from now on, but she wanted to help somehow. Pete came to the door, apparently straight from the shower. He asked Mel in and said he'd be back in a minute.

Mel went to the living room, looked around and then sat down. She was feeling a bit nervous, she really had no idea what state Pete was in. It was possible that he was completely crushed, but then again, it was just as possible that he was handling the situation well. Pete walked to the room in jeans and a t-shirt and sat down on the couch.

"Rory's coming home tomorrow night" Mel said, looking at him observantly.

"Yea, she sent me a text message. I haven't really talked to her after she left…"

"Are you okay?"

Pete looked at Mel and shrugged. He was tired, he hadn't slept well now that Rory was away. He never slept well when Rory was far from him. What was he gonna do now that she would never be near him again?

"I keep thinking back, thinking that I shouldn't have done this in the first place. I mean, getting together with Rory. She wasn't ready to let go of Jess, I saw it, but I didn't want to believe it"

"These things have a mind of their own. We can't control our feelings, none of us can. This is hard for everyone, but eventually it's gonna turn out for the best. You're still young, Pete, so many men have never even had a serious relationship at your age"

"That's not exactly a consolation" Pete said and looked kindly at Melanie. "You know, despite the fact that we're all supposed to be so career-orientated, independent and modern, I think that, above anything, we all want to be loved"

Mel listened to Pete's words and nodded seriously. 

"Cause what would any career be, if you were alone. I mean if you have no one to love you, then what do you have?" Pete was talking more to himself than to Mel, but then he realised that he was talking of a subject very familiar to Melanie. "Mel, I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"It's okay, Pete. You're right, about everything. But the fact is that at some point we have to let go, but it doesn't mean that there's less love. My love for John hasn't gone anywhere, and his love for me is still with me. In the end, the memories are the only thing any of us will have"

"I've sometimes wondered how you do it. How you can live so fully, when you've gone through so much… Do you remember how Rory was for years after Jess had left and…"

"I've been like that, Pete. But I got through that time, just like Rory got through hers. And you'll get through yours. It's not easy, quite the contrary. But when you realise that you've made it through, you're ten times more stronger than you were before"

Pete looked at Mel and smiled a bit. He had been so alone in the past few weeks. Sure, he had friends, but it wasn't easy to talk about things like these with them. And he had been crushed when he'd realised that it was inevitable, that he would be left alone. And then, as if she had read his mind, Mel went to him and sat down next to him.

"You're not gonna be alone. Rory hasn't stopped loving you, your friends haven't left you. Life is gonna change, but you're gonna end up just fine, it may take time, but you'll pull it through. And you'll move on"

"It sounds like you've given this speech a few times" Pete said chuckled. "But It just happened so quickly. I mean, when I saw him in our doorway, when Cate said his name… I knew this was over. I mean, God, I'm not stupid. But still it happened so quickly"

*Stars Hollow, The Gilmore House 9pm*

Jess knocked on the door a few times, and when there was no reply he let himself in. He looked around, looking for Lorelai who immediately ran down from the stairs.

"Sorry it took me so long. I was cleaning up"

"You didn't use to be this interested in cleaning up" Jess replied and then smirked when Lorelai looked at him warningly. "Anyway, is this a bad time?"

"Nah, so what's up? I thought you were helping Luke tonight"

Jess and Lorelai went to the kitchen and Lorelai took out two beers from the fridge. Jess leaned against the wall, when Lorelai sat down on the side of the table.

"Luke said that he was just about ready. And I wanted to talk to you about something"

"About something?" Lorelai replied and smiled kindly at him. "About Rory?"

"Well, I.. Sort of, yea, I mean… Yea, about Rory" Jess stammered and then shook his head at his own behaviour. He was a grown man, how hard was it to talk about this? Actually, really hard.

"So, what about her?" Lorelai asked as Jess sipped his beer inattentively.

"I don't know really. I just… Well, I talked to Luke today, which was good cause I haven't really talked to anyone in a long time and…"

"What's a long time?" Lorelai asked him and she was actually a bit afraid of the answer he might give.

"I don't really… I don't like talking to people about myself anyway, so…"

"When have you last really talked to someone, Jess? When have you told someone about your feelings or thoughts or… something?"

Jess looked at the can in his hand, and thought about it.

"I talked with Cate when we decided to split up. Before that, I… Writing the book was like talking to someone"

Lorelai looked at him, just now she beginning to understand what he was all about. How was it possible that he was so detached from everything around him? It was almost as if he didn't belong anywhere and that was probably how he felt, too. But then again, Lorelai knew that he'd been able to talk to Rory, he had never been detached from Rory. Jess was one of those people who were just… Lorelai didn't even know the appropriate word. 

"Well, I distracted you from what you were really here to talk about"

"Yea, I just wanted to know… I mean, I hoped that you could tell me about Rory" he seemed shy, almost as if he was ashamed to be so vulnerable. 

"Yea, I can tell you about Rory" Lorelai said softly and looked at Jess warmly. 

A/N: Keep the feedback coming, please!


	12. Chapter Twelve

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: I AM SO SORRY! I tried to update every day last week, but apparently fanfiction.net wouldn't let anyone update, plus today is the first day in weeks that my own computer has allowed me to access ff.net. So, here is chapter twelve, finally! And since I'm leaving for my holiday in a week, I won't be able to finish this story until I get back (the end of July). I am so sorry about that, I really am. Hopefully, if I'm lucky and fanfiction.net and my computer keep working, I might be able to post one more chapter before I leave. I'm am sorry about this, please be patient with me and keep reading..

Chapter Twelve

*Rory and Pete's apartment, Monday 1am*

She didn't look tired although she had just got home and she had a long flight behind her. Pete saw her looking at him alertly and she seemed to be very aware of what was happening. 

Neither of them was able to say a word. Neither of them wanted to do this, but both knew it had to be done. They hadn't talked about this situation once, so how was it possible for them to agree to split up now, when they had never even discussed the option before? 

Rory's hair was framing her face and making her features seem beautiful and her skin ever paler than it usually was. And her eyes seemed so big, and they were this magnificent shade of blue.

_~Flashback~_

_She smiled and looked at him warmly. She was standing there in the park, in the middle of a windy day. Her hair blew on her face and every time she patiently adjusted it behind her ears again. _

_He walked to her, feeling impatient. Getting to her seemed to take him forever, but when he was finally there he immediately reached out his hand. Her smile faded, she looked at his hand and then moved her gaze to his face again. She seemed to be going through some kind of an inner struggle and the confusion was apparent on her face. _

_Suddenly she reached out and took his hand into hers. The feeling of joy and contentment inside him was something indescribable. He held her hand tightly, and she nodded at him slightly with a shy expression on her face. Then they began walking, hand in hand, for the first time._

_~Flashback~_

Mel had told him not to tell Rory about the book. Mel had said that it was time for Rory and Jess to work things out for themselves. Pete wondered if he was a complete idiot for letting Rory go like this. Weren't husbands supposed to fight for their wives and not to help them get started again with their ex-boyfriends? Well, this case was different. And it was even harder than Pete imagined, and he had imagined it to be impossible.

Rory couldn't take her eyes off him. How was it possible that he seemed so different now? How was it possible that everything around her looked so different? He didn't look like her husband anymore, he didn't look like the same Pete she used to love seeing when she came home. It was scary, scary to realise that the images she had had in her mind for the past years had changed.  

She didn't want to let go, although she knew that there was something incredible waiting for her. Well, at least she hoped that there was something incredible waiting for her. But it was hard to let go, sort of erase the past years of her life and start at the beginning again. She had done it before, and it had been incredibly hard. But now that things were changing again, she was giving up something that she had been trying so hard to get used to.

_~Flashback~_

_It was raining, she could hear the water hitting the window and it seemed extraordinarily loud. She was standing by the bed in nothing but her bathrobe and he was standing in front of her. She felt her whole body stiffen when he took a step toward her and placed his hand on her shoulder lightly._

_She looked down, held her breath, but tried desperately to relax. His hand pushed the bathrobe off her shoulder and then stroked her skin gently. She knew she looked vulnerable, and in reality she herself felt like she could brake into pieces at any moment. _

_It wasn't like she had never done this after Jess had left. She was a human after all, and as her mother had often reminded her, the need for physical intimacy for natural for everyone. So, a few years after Jess had left, the need to feel someone close to her had become too hard to repress. But it hadn't felt the same, she'd known it wouldn't. She always closed her eyes, thought about Jess, trying to forget the fact that when she'd open her eyes it would be someone else. She now knew what Jess had meant when he'd told her that before her he had only had sex, never made love.  _

_But right now, this was supposed to feel like something. This wasn't just someone, this was her boyfriend. This was supposed to be more than sex, this was supposed to bring their relationship up to a new level. But when she felt his touch on her skin, she simply wanted to close her eyes and see Jess. _

_But she got herself together. She was focused, she was determined. She looked up at him, he seemed to be lost in touching her, admiring her. And she took his hand and led him to the bed. And she didn't close her eyes once._

_~Flashback~_

Rory reached out her hand, and he took it without hesitance. He squeezed it tightly and she had tears in his eyes, when the past four years of her life flashed before her. 

*Monday 2pm*

Rory had the day off since she had arrived home so late the previous night. Now she was sitting in her study, looking at the books. She had boxes on the floor, all she had to do was put the books in the boxes. Her home was where her books were, but she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to take them away from the place that had been her home for the past two years.

She got up and then went to the shelf where Jess's books were. She took a few copies from the shelf, but then hastily put them back. If she'd pack his books, the next step would be to take them to him. And she wasn't ready to do that. She wanted to do it, but she just wasn't ready to go to him. And she wasn't sure she should, but gosh, she really wanted to. She wanted to talk to him, she had a million things to tell him and a million things to ask.

Rory picked up the phone and dialled. After a while Michel answered at the inn and soon, Rory had Lorelai on the other side of the line. 

"You're back?" Lorelai asked and Rory felt that her words had a double meaning.  

"Yea, I'm back" she replied and smiled a bit. "I'm trying to pack. You know, get things together, but it's sort of... hard"

Lorelai listened to her daughter, realising that she was telling her that her marriage had come to an end. Lorelai wanted to know more, wanted to know how it had all happened, but she figured this wasn't the time. 

"Of course it is" she said kindly. "You're gonna stay with Mel?"

"Yea. Until I find a place of my own" Rory replied and was grateful for the fact that her mother understood her so well.

Lorelai wondered if she should ask her whether she'd thought of visiting Stars Hollow, but again she decided it was best not to bring that up. After all, it did equal with the question whether Rory was gonna see Jess.

"Despite everything, I feel pretty... okay, I guess"

"Yea, I though you might be"

"Yea. I might come home sometime. I mean a weekend or something…"

"That'd be good" Lorelai said and then mumbled something Rory couldn't hear.

"What?"

"Um, nothing. I've just… gotta go, honey. But call me once you've settled in and… Love you" Lorelai said hastily and ended the call.

*Stars Hollow*

Lorelai put the phone down and looked at Jess who had just walked in. She had never expected this day to come, that Jess would be back and Rory would be free. Jess saw her by the desk and walked to her.

"Hey" he said and saw Lorelai's confused face. "Everything okay?"

Lorelai nodded and smiled. Like Rory had said, despite everything, despite the pain and disappointment that came with the split up, things were actually pretty much okay.

"So, what made you come here?" 

"Um, I just wanted to look around. You know, haven't been here since I came back" Jess replied with a smile.

"Yea, that's true. Well, look around and then got to the kitchen to say hi to Sookie"

"I will" Jess replied with a smile and let his gaze go around the room. He was just about to walk to the dining room, when Lorelai's voice stopped her.

"Jess, Rory called"

He stopped but didn't turn to look at Lorelai. If he had, she would have seen a million emotions on his face.

"She'd gonna be staying with Mel until she finds a place of her own"

Jess felt like he couldn't breath. Something was pressing on his chest, making him feel nauseous. He stood in the middle of the room, his back facing Lorelai. He felt really sick, really mixed up. He felt he had a chance, a real chance. And at the same time he felt bad, thinking that any of this would never have happened if he hadn't… 

He turned to look at Lorelai. She nodded slightly and Jess took a deep breath when he walked out of the room. He went to the backyard, sat down on the terrace steps and closed his eyes. He wanted to see her so much that he didn't know what to do. The thought that he might get the chance to talk to her, tell her how he felt and how sorry he was, that was overwhelming. The possibility that he might be able to touch her again, see her looking him in the eyes. But was it possible? Was it possible that she still wanted him, after everything? Jess though she did, the way she looked at him was so intense, but still… He didn't want to expect too much, after all she had every right to hate him. And he didn't know if he had the right to want her back anymore.

*New York, Wednesday 5pm*

"I feel awful. I mean, I know I haven't done anything to hurt her, but still I know that I'm a part of why she's hurt" Rory looked at Mel while they were walking toward her apartment after work. "I mean, I haven't seen her once after I came back from London, and I don't have the courage to go talk to her"

"And I don't think you should. At least not yet. She didn't come to work last week at all, and now she'd avoiding you and that's natural. It's not that much fun to hang around someone whom the person you love loves"

Rory looked at Mel silently, pondering about her words. When they reached Mel's apartment building the two got in the elevator and Mel asked if Rory had thought about going to Stars Hollow.

"I told my mom that I might go there. I could take some time off from work since I've never used all my vacations"

"So, you wanna see Jess?" Mel asked and Rory looked at her with a knowing look. "Of course"

"But that's not gonna happen any time soon. I mean, I can't get over this guilt I have over Pete. He's so alone right now"

"He has friends, Rory. He's gonna be fine, and he's gonna move on"

"Yea, I guess so" Rory replied when they reached the right floor and found a man standing in the corridor with a package in his hand.

"Rory Gilmore?" the man said and Rory looked at him curiously. "I have a delivery for you"

Rory went to the man and he gave her the package.

"And could you sign here?" the man asked and after Rory had scribbled down her name, she and Mel went inside.

"So, what is it?" Mel asked when Rory sat down to look at the package. 

It was a rather small box, and it took Rory a while to read the sender's name from the label attached to it. Her grip tightened and she realised that she had stopped breathing altogether.

"Rory?" Mel asked curiously, but with a worried expression on her face when she saw Rory's reaction. "What is it?"

"It's from Jess" she said so quietly that Mel wasn't sure she had heard Rory correctly. 

Mel went to the couch and sat next to Rory. They both sat there silently, just staring at the box and the name on it. Mel turned to see Rory's face and then smiled a bit.

"I have some work to do, so I'll be in the bedroom if you need me"

Rory lifted her gaze to Mel and smiled appreciatively. Mel left the room and after a while, Rory opened the package with rather trembling hands. She gasped when she saw a book, a book with his name on the cover. It was his book, his novel. Rory stared at it, wanting to open it, but still fearing what she might find inside it. Finally she adjusted herself better on the couch and opened the novel cautiously.  

A/N: A shorter chapter than usual, but I just wanted to make these events an entity of their own. The R/J interaction is getting closer, and believe me, I've been waiting for it as anxiously as you have. So, as always, please give me feedback!

And csk8-20, I read your bio and you said in it that you want to come to Europe. Okay, I'm European, so not really impartial about it, but Europe is great, wonderful, beautiful, just lovely! So incredibly versatile and there are a million places here that would be worth seeing and visiting, it's just really hard to choose… Okay, I got carried away, I'm just so excited cause I'm going to Italy myself. I love travelling!:) 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: First I wanted to reply to 'imonadiet's' review and at the same time clear some things for everyone. I'm not in any way offended by the review, that's why I ask for feedback, to get both criticism and praise when it's deserved. Your feedback however alarmed me in the way that I never ever meant to portray Rory as, and I quote "a heartless, selfish, weak person". But even more alarming was your view that "this story is disrespectful to women and to marriage and does not give the respect that both deserve."

There were two points in this story that I wanted to make. The other was that there could be love that's so strong that it overrides everything (it's an idealistic and romantic view, but hey that's me). The other point was that Jess never dumped Rory, he just wanted something different from life than Rory did. Just because society thinks that going to college is normal and wanting to explore the world isn't, it shouldn't make Jess's choice less worthy. So, Jess wanted to travel and Rory wanted to go to college. Both aspirations were equal, the other wasn't in any way disrespectful to the other, they were just different. I was trying my best to make that come across in the story, I guess I didn't do it too well.  

There's no one in the world who supports equality between the two sexes more than I do. I have nothing against marriage, I didn't meant to down play it with this story. However I also have nothing against divorce when it's needed. In this story it was, I myself would not want to be married to someone who loved someone else more than me. If Rory still loved Jess then maybe she shouldn't have married Pete, but she did. People make mistakes in real life, too, so they make mistakes also in this story. I guess we all have a different perspective to what those mistakes in the story are. I was, and am, pretty much identifying myself with Jess, I guess that also had some influence to the outcome of this story.

Okay, I'm sorry this author's note became so long. Just wanted to clear out these things for all the readers. Here is definitely the last chapter before my holiday, I'll be back home in Finland on July 23rd…

Chapter Thirteen

*Stars Hollow, Friday 9pm*

Rory sat on the bridge, her feet dangling near the water. She'd taken her shoes off, it was an exceptionally warm night, it felt like summer and it was only April. She had driven straight to the bridge when she'd got to Stars Hollow. She hadn't called her mother or anyone else to let them know she was coming home. The only one who knew where she was, was Mel who had been quite surprised when Rory, all of a sudden, had declared that she was going to Stars Hollow for the weekend.  

Rory kept replaying the verses of the novel in her mind. The way he wrote was beautiful, he could have written anything and made it beautiful. It seemed incredible that he had remembered so much, so many little things that even Rory had almost forgotten. And he'd written them down. But even more special than reading things he remembered of her, was to know his thoughts, his feelings, what he'd been going through. While reading the book, Rory had felt closer to him than perhaps ever before. She'd got to know what he'd been thinking, and how he had been, simultaneously, excited and completely lost. 

So, earlier that day Rory had decided to come to Stars Hollow. She'd felt that lately she had thought too much. She had been thinking and thinking and thinking, but now she had felt like she needed to act. She wanted to see Jess, talk to him and just be with him. In New York she'd thought that she would have the courage to do that, but at this moment, when Jess was so close, she couldn't bring herself to go to him. 

Rory got up and walked to her car. She drove to her mother's house and found Lorelai enjoying the warm night on the porch. She was sitting there with Sookie and the two women were definitely surprised when Rory stepped out of her car. 

Lorelai was much more reserved than usually, she didn't scream and laugh like she normally did. She knew that Rory had had a tough time, and now she simply wanted to make sure that Rory felt her old home to be a peaceful and calm haven for her. Rory hugged both her mother and Sookie and then sat down on the porch steps. 

"It's a really warm night" Sookie said and observed Rory kindly. 

"Yea, a beautiful night" Rory said and smiled.

She was slightly stressed about the fact that she would have to see Jess this weekend. Her original plan had been to confront him, but now that she didn't have the courage to do that, she wasn't quite sure of how to behave around him.  

Lorelai went inside the house and got Rory a wine glass. Then she poured some wine for her daughter who nodded gratefully. Lorelai now knew about Jess's book, she knew that Jess still loved Rory and Rory still loved Jess. But she didn't know that Jess had sent his novel to Rory, and she was afraid to say anything of the matter fearing Rory's reaction to her prying.

"So, you've settled in at Mel's?"

"Yea. Although it's hard for Mel to have me there cause now she can't bring any of her dates back home for a nightcap" Rory smirked and both Lorelai and Sookie enthusiastically started to ponder about Mel's phenomenal success with men. It was, without a doubt, good to talk about a subject that had nothing to do with Rory or Jess.

A half an hour later, just as the three women had managed to relax, they saw two men approaching the house. Rory froze immediately, Lorelai poured herself some more wine and Sookie continued babbling, but even more energetically than before. 

The feeling of uneasiness seemed to descend upon all of them. The girls on the porch seemed to be in some kind of a panic, and Luke and Jess who were now only ten feet away from them stopped and stared at the girls on the porch. Jess felt like a five year old, his self-confidence flew out of the window the instant he saw Rory. He felt helpless, like just one wrong word would be able to crush him for good. He needed all his strength to get himself together, and Luke tried to eye him supportively before they walked to the house.

"Hi, Rory. I didn't know you were coming" Luke said with an incredibly tense voice, which was actually kind of amusing since everyone knew that he'd tried to sound as casual as possible. 

"Oh, this was just a spur of a moment kind of thing"

Rory was staring at Jess, she knew she stared, but she couldn't turn her gaze away. Jess nodded at her slightly and she could see that he was unsure of her and her thoughts. He didn't know why she was there, he didn't know if she actually hated him or if she appreciated the fact that he'd sent the novel to her. Or maybe she was angry with him for writing about her at all. Or maybe she was happy and she'd come to Stars Hollow to tell him that. Jess was going through all the scenarios in his head, when Sookie suddenly got up and declared that she'd have to head back home. After a quick goodbye, Luke, Lorelai, Jess and Rory went inside and Luke went to grab two beers for himself and Jess.

When Luke returned from the kitchen, he found the other three sitting the living room silently. The situation seemed unbearable, right now Rory couldn't even look at Jess much less say anything to him. She just kept thinking that he still remembered everything about them, he still loved her. Well, at least she thought he did, since in the book he did. There was no way that she would be able to ask him, she couldn't put herself on the line. If she'd find out that he didn't love her anymore, she'd be… 

Rory tried to stop thinking about him, but it seemed to be impossible. Lorelai tried to make some kind of small talk and Luke tried to play along with it, but the situation was still as hell-like as before. 

"I think I'll go and get some chips from the kitchen. Luke, would you mind going to the guestroom and getting sheets for Rory's bed?"

Rory felt like strangling her mother for her so transparent attempt to leave her alone with Jess. Luke coughed and said he'd get right on it and when Lorelai got up, too, Rory said she'd come and help her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, mom?" Rory whispered when she was alone with Lorelai in the kitchen. "Don't even think of leaving me alone with Jess!"

"What's going on, Rory?" Lorelai asked the question even though she knew it was a stupid question.

"Just promise me that you won't try to leave us alone again"

"Okay, okay. I just… Why did you come here if you don't want to talk to Jess?"

"I came here to talk to him. I just… lost the courage" Rory mumbled, not feeling energetic enough to tell her mom about the book. "Mom, I just need everyone to back off. If I'm gonna talk to Jess, I'll do it when I feel the time is right and without pressure from anyone. There's already been so much hassle over this and as much as I do appreciate everyone's help…"

"I know" Lorelai said kindly and went to her daughter. "You have all the space you need, Rory"

"Thanks, mom " she replied with a relieved smile and just when they entered the living room again, Rory's mobile rang. "It's Lane" she said and looked at everyone apologetically. "Um, I'm gonna go and talk outside"

Rory went to the porch when she answered the phone. She took a deep breath, thinking that she'd have to tell Lane about her split up with Pete. She hadn't had the guts to tell her before. 

"You're a good luck charm to me, Rory"

"Excuse me?" Rory said and laughed. "What are you talking about?"

"I wanted you to be the first to know, well the first after Mark"

Lane's words didn't make any sense to Rory until she really thought about them. There was only one

thing that Lane would talk about like this.

"Are you saying that…"

"I'm pregnant, Rory!"

The grin on Rory's face was huge when she heard her friend's words. She hadn't thought that it would be possible to feel so much joy for someone, but it was. In fact, Rory was speechless. 

"Rory, are you still there?" Lane sounded so happy.

"Yea, yea" Rory said and sighed. "I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you"

"Well, you're sort of responsible for this. The baby was conceived when we were staying with you in New York"

"Wow" Rory said and grinned again. "So, it's still pretty early"

"Yea, that's why I'd like it if you didn't tell anyone before some time has passed and we know that this is going to…"

"Yea" Rory said more seriously and just then the front door opened.

Rory turned and saw Jess step out. He was apparently heading home, but he stopped for a minute to look at her. The look in his eyes made Rory want to hit herself. He wished her goodnight and the pain and disappointment was apparent in his voice. 

Rory cursed to herself, wondering why she didn't have the courage to talk to him. 

"Good night, Jess" she replied and then watched him walk down the street.

Lane's voice was now curious when she asked Rory if she had heard her say Jess's name. Rory shook her head, thinking that she didn't want to spoil Lane's good mood with news of her upcoming divorce.

"Yea, I came to Stars Hollow for the weekend"

"Oh" Lane said and Rory heard the confusion in her voice.

"But Lane, I am so happy for you. I can't… I'm speechless"

"Yea, I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling either, Rory. I just… I could ask for nothing more, I mean, I never even dreamed of being this happy. I didn't think it was possible"

"Well, it is. And I know no one who would deserve happiness more than you"

"Yea right, Rory" Lane said laughing. "But I'm coming to Stars Hollow next weekend with Mark. You're gonna be there then?"

"I really don't know" Rory said absentmindedly and after some more giggling and happy words Rory threw her mobile on the bench next to her. 

She sat there, staring at the street that Jess had just walked on a while ago. She was so happy for Lane, and at the same time so anxious and tense about the 'Jess-situation' 

"It's getting colder"

Rory turned and saw her mother by the door.

"Yeah" she replied and then turned to look down the street again. "I'm so tired of this, mom. I don't want to go on like this anymore. I mean, these past years have been nothing but getting hurt or hurting others. I'd just like to have… I'd like to have a life that isn't as complicated as this one"

Lorelai listened to her daughter and then sat down next to her.

"Are you sure it's so complicated?"

Rory looked at her mom hesitantly and then shrugged. She stood up and said that she would head to bed.

"In the end, it's gonna be okay, Rory"

"Yea. Goodnight mom"  

*Saturday, 1pm*

Rory walked toward the diner rapidly. She stared ahead with a determined look on her face. No one could have guessed that it took all of her willpower to keep her feet going and she had to tell herself constantly not to throw up.

She pushed open the door to the diner and went to the counter. Luke came from the kitchen and Rory smiled at him.

"A burger?"

"Yea, thanks" Rory said and glanced around quickly. 

"He's upstairs" Luke said as thought it was the most natural thing in the world to say to Rory, and then disappeared to the kitchen.

Rory knew that this was it. This was her chance, she had to do it now. So she got up and went to the stairs. She looked at them for a while, then climbed up slowly and quietly and found the apartment door open. 

Jess was sitting by the table, his back facing Rory. He was apparently just typing and Rory closed her eyes when she started to speak before she even realising it herself.  

"I'm sorry, Jess"

He got up instantly and turned to look at her. The look on his face made Rory want to run to him and hold him tightly. His eyes were filled with shock and surprise, and he looked really tired. They were both standing still, just looking at each other until Jess sighed quietly.

"What are you sorry about?"

Rory closed the apartment door after her and took a few careful steps closer to Jess, making sure they still had a sufficient distance between them.

"I don't know. I just… I'm sorry about everything"

The expression on his face didn't change. He just kept on looking at her, but eventually he nodded and she continued speaking 

"Everything is just so crazy. I hadn't seen you for seven years and then you came back and absolutely everything changed. And I don't know anything about anything… I don't…" the words had simply floated out of her mouth, but now she knew she had only one thing to say. "Now I don't know what you're thinking or how you feel"

Jess saw the most beautiful woman that had ever exited on the face of the earth standing before him. She was looking at him after all these years, giving him hope when he had given up ages ago. He had so much to say, but it seemed impossible to start talking. How was he to tell about is feelings now, after all the time that had passed and everything that had happened?

"I don't… I think this is the hardest thing in the world to talk about. Did you… get the book?"

"It was beautiful, Jess" Rory said quickly and then smiled. "I mean, you were always a good writer, but this was incredible… I can't even begin to tell you how I felt while reading it. And I thought that I have to come to you, and… And I came here and I didn't have the courage to do that"

Jess didn't know what to say. He didn't know where to begin, and that's why he'd sent the book. 

"Everything I'm feeling and thinking is in the book" he said quietly, feeling that he had bared his soul out to her. "And the only thing I know right now is what I feel. But I don't know what to do, or say"

Rory took a step closer to him. Her heart was beating incredibly fast, being so close to him, finally talking to him. And everything he said was true. She knew how she felt, too, but she didn't know what to do or say. But then she realised that there was something to say, she could tell him the truth in its simplest form. 

Again she stepped closer, now she was standing just a foot away from him. She looked into his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by the proximity to him. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, her words were soft and quiet and even more importantly honest.

"I've never missed anyone as much as I miss you" 

A/N: This wasn't the best place to stop, but I guess there isn't a good place considering that you'll have to wait such a long time for the next update. Thank you everyone for the reviews and all the feedback, keep it coming… I'll get back to you in approximately one month with Chapter Fourteen!:)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: First I want to say I'M SORRY!!! You've had to wait for this chapter for an eternity, I hope you've all been patient and still want to keep reading. So, I am back home in Finland, Italy was great, incredible, magnificent and just… Well, I love Italy. Now read this new chapter and please review. I desperately need to know that my writing hasn't become terrible while I've been away. This is a short-ish chapter, but there's more stuff coming soon, I promise..:)

Chapter Fourteen

*Saturday, 1pm*

Rory walked toward the diner rapidly. She stared ahead with a determined look on her face. No one could have guessed that it took all of her willpower to keep her feet going and she had to tell herself constantly not to throw up.

She pushed open the door to the diner and went to the counter. Luke came from the kitchen and Rory smiled at him.

"A burger?"

"Yea, thanks" Rory said and glanced around quickly. 

"He's upstairs" Luke said as thought it was the most natural thing in the world to say to Rory, and then disappeared to the kitchen.

Rory knew that this was it. This was her chance, she had to do it now. She got up and went to the stairs. She looked at them for a while, then climbed up slowly and found the apartment door open. 

Jess was sitting by the table, his back facing Rory. He was apparently just typing and Rory closed her eyes when she started to speak.  

"I'm sorry, Jess"

He got up instantly and turned to look at her. The look on his face made Rory want to run to him and hold him tightly. His eyes were filled with shock and surprise, and he looked really tired. They were both standing still, just looking at each other until Jess sighed quietly.

"What are you sorry about?"

Rory closed the apartment door after her and took a few careful steps closer to Jess, making sure they still had a sufficient distance between them.

"I don't know. I just… I'm sorry about everything"

The expression on his face didn't change. He just kept on looking at her, but eventually he nodded and she continued speaking 

"Everything is just so crazy. I hadn't seen you for seven years and then you came back and absolutely everything changed. And I don't know anything about anything… I don't…" the words had simply floated out of her mouth, but now she knew she had only one thing to say. "Now I don't know what you're thinking or how you feel"

Jess saw the most beautiful woman that had ever exited on the face of the earth standing before him. She was looking at him after all these years, giving him hope when he had given up ages ago. He had so much to say, but it seemed impossible to start talking. How was he to tell about is feelings now, after all the time that had passed and everything that had happened?

"I don't… I think this is the hardest thing in the world to talk about. Did you… get the book?"

"It was beautiful, Jess" Rory said quickly and then smiled. "I mean, you were always a good writer, but this was incredible… I can't even begin to tell you how I felt while reading it. And I thought that I have to come to you, and… And I came here and I didn't have the courage to do that"

Jess didn't know what to say. He didn't know where to begin, and that's why he'd sent the book. 

"Everything I'm feeling and thinking is in the book" he said quietly, feeling that he had bared his soul out to her. "And the only thing I know right now is what I feel. But I don't know what to do, or say"

Rory took a step closer to him. Her heart was beating incredibly fast, being so close to him, finally talking to him. And everything he said was true. She knew how she felt, too, but she didn't know what to do or say. But then she realised that there was something to say, she could tell him the truth in its simplest form. 

Again she stepped closer, now she was standing just a foot away from him. She looked into his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by everything. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, her words were soft and quiet and even more importantly honest.

"I've never missed anyone as much as I miss you" Rory said and her voice cracked slightly.

The silence seemed to last an eternity. After she had said the words, she had just stared at him, scared and hopeful. But he didn't say anything, he just kept looking at her, but still not showing any emotions. And the silence continued until they both jumped. His cellphone. How was it possible for his cellphone to ring? At a moment like this. 

Jess turned to look at his phone and picked it up from the table. 

"I have to answer this, it's my editor" his voice was quiet and somewhat gruff, his eyes now seemed to avoid contact with hers.

Rory nodded and took a step back. She looked at Jess who answered the call and then turned to the table to look at some papers. That was it, the moment was gone. The courage she had had when she'd come to him disappeared and she was left standing there, insecure, just wanting to get away. 

She walked to the door and turned to look at him again. He had a sheet of paper in his hand, the phone against his ear and he looked at her, strained. And she did what seemed to be the easiest solution, she opened the door and walked out.

Rory kept on walking, staring ahead and avoiding contact with everyone. She didn't even turn to look at Luke who was standing by one of the tables looking at her. She just walked out of the diner and then headed down the main street. And she didn't even know why. Her heart was beating so hard and her brain didn't seem to be working. If only he had said something, she kept thinking. He could have said anything, just something, but he hadn't. 

She stopped for a while, stood in the middle of the pavement and shook her head. Why the hell had she left the apartment? He was just confused, she knew he was just as confused as she was, if not more. He had probably just needed a minute to get his thoughts together, and then the call had interrupted them. But she had panicked, she'd felt compelled to get out of the situation that might tear her apart. She'd regretted saying what she did, showing him how vulnerable she really was. But why was it such a big deal, he wasn't the enemy. He was Jess. And now that she had walked away, how was she supposed to be able to go to him again? She'd lost the courage, she felt like an idiot. What the hell was wrong with her? When had she become the greatest idiot that had ever lived on the face of the earth?

Rory was frustrated and angry with herself, so she headed for the one place that was always able to make her feel better and see things clearly. And she hoped that Jess would come there, because right now she was too embarrassed to go to him again. 

*New York, Mel's apartment, 2pm*

Pete stood in front of Mel, holding a box, which was just bursting with books. They were looking at each other silently, both contemplating on an appropriate starting line. There didn't seem to be one, so eventually he just put the box on the floor and took a deep breath.

"I've brought Rory's books. I've got more boxes in the car"

"Oh, yea. I've… Rory's not here now… I'll come and help you with the stuff"

Pete looked at her and nodded, slowly. Mel grabbed her keys and followed Pete to the elevator. They waited for it silently and stepped in. It seemed that the elevator was very slow on this particular day, Mel wasn't sure if it had ever before gone to the ground floor this slowly. Finally, they got out of the elevator and went to Pete's car to get the rest of Rory's things. A few boxes, a suitcase and some plastic bags filled with clothes.

When they were once again on their way upstairs, Mel turned to look at Pete and asked him how he was.

"Me? Fine, just fine"

Mel nodded and managed to stir up some small talk revolving Pete's work and how busy he'd been lately. When they were back at Mel's apartment, Pete leaned against the wall and looked at her seriously.

"Is Rory… with Jess?"

It was hard to let go, Mel knew it. And Pete's situation was even harder, because he had to live with the fact that the woman he loved more than anything loved someone else more than anything. 

"Rory's in Stars Hollow… You know, wanted to spend the weekend with her mom and… I think Jess is staying there these days, but I don't know…

"Yea" Pete said quietly, not looking at Mel but letting his gaze go to the floor. "She's okay?"

"Pretty much so" Mel said quietly, trying to think of a way to comfort Pete. "So, have you had time for anything but work lately?"

"Not really. I've been organizing a bachelor party for a friend, but other than that… Pretty peaceful"

"Yea, for me, too. I was supposed to go on a date tonight, but…" Mel stopped speaking when she saw the smile on Pete's face.

"Yea, I should have known you have a date planned for Saturday night" 

"Well, yea, you know me" Mel laughed and then it hit her. "Look Pete, do you have something to do tonight?"

"No, nothing special. Why?"

"Well, if my date is cancelled and you have nothing special, I thought that we could go and see or movie or something" Mel knew that her suggestion was fairly risky. A man like Pete might very well consider her offer to be made out of pity.

"A movie?" Pete said and wrinkled his forehead. 

"Yea, I haven't seen anything for a while so… What do you say?"

Pete looked at Mel with slight hesitation, but eventually he nodded with a smile.

"Why not. It might be fun"

*Stars Hollow, the bridge, 5pm*

He'd stood there for a while looking at her, trying, once again, to understand that he was actually this close to her. All he had to do was walk to her, look at her and tell her. Because he knew it was what she wanted to hear and it was what he wanted to say. 

He smiled. She was so beautiful, so familiar. Despite all the time and everything that had happened, she still looked the same, her expressions and movements were still the same. She was lost in her thoughts when he began walking and he was careful not to scare her with his presence.

"I don't really know where to start" he caught her off guard and she turned to look at him with her eyes filled with surprise. 

He stood a few feet away from her, hands in his pockets, looking down at her calmly, surprisingly calmly.

"We're not the same people we were seven years ago. You graduated from Yale, got your ideal job, you grew up. And I wasn't here to see it. And you got married. There's absolutely no way that you are the same Rory that you were before I left. I can see it when I look at you, or when I hear you speak"

Rory turned her gaze down with mixed feelings. She was happy that Jess had come to her, but at the same time his words made her heart race with both anxiety and excitement.

"But still, you're Rory. The first moment I saw you, I realised that you were the only one that I could care about. And I've loved you ever since. I loved you when I left and I loved you when I was away" listening to his words, Rory looked up at him again. "And I love you now, Rory"

His words didn't have time to sink into her consciousness. He sat down next to her, he was close, but still not too close. He looked into the water for a while, then he looked at Rory.

"I've never missed anyone but you"

The wind blew her hair to her face, and she removed it calmly never taking her eyes off him. She sat there, so close to him, after just hearing everything she had ever wanted to hear from him. It made her feel empty and so full at the same time. It all made her doubt if it was really happening. 

"I can't believe you're really here" she finally whispered and smiled faintly. 

"Yea, I can't really believe it myself" he said before they fell into a comfortable silence.

Just looking at each other, neither felt a need to say anything. After all the awkwardness and uncertainty, it felt really good to be able to stay quiet and just enjoy the moment when they had finally managed to talk. But still, they were both aware of the fact that there was a lot more to talk about, there were so many issues to deal with.

"Rory" Jess began quietly, feeling that he had to say this to her. "I just want you to know how sorry I am. For leaving and then for not having the courage to come back"

"Don't apologize, Jess" Rory said softly, trying to make him feel better. "I can't blame you for anything, and most of all, I don't want you to apologize for leaving. It was something you had to do. We've both made so many mistakes in these past years…"

Jess sighed and nodded. They really had made mistakes. They'd hurt each other and maybe even worse, they had hurt others when it had been the last thing they ever wanted to do.

Again, the silence continued. Both were thinking of the past years, their regrets, their relationships, people they had cared about and ended up hurting. Theirs thoughts were interrupted though when Rory's cellphone rang. She took it out of her pocket and smiled at Jess apologetically.

"Answer it, I won't run away" he said with a smile and made Rory shook her head as she answered.

It was Lorelai. Although she tried very hard, it seemed she was desperately curious to find out what was happening between Rory and Jess. Eventually she got Rory to promise that she'd return to the house as soon as possible, just because she was bored and had no company.

"My mom" Rory said after ending the call.

"I figured" Jess replied and then helped Rory stand up. "So, it was good to… talk"

Rory nodded and suddenly felt like she was sixteen again. She smiled rather shyly and then asked if Jess would like to have dinner with her and Lorelai that same night.

"We'll come to the diner, I guess, so…"

"Yea, that'd be good. So, I guess I'll see tonight" 

"Yea, see you tonight, Jess" Rory said and smiled. 

When she left the bridge behind her, she felt Jess's gaze following her. And she had to smile.

A/N: Okay, it's taking me some time to get my brain working again, therefore this wasn't the best chapter I've written. However, I'm gonna work harder on the remaining chapters, now I just wanted to post something so you won't have to wait any longer. Anyway, please review!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: Thanks for your kind reviews even though the last chapter was pretty crappy. I'm hoping this one is better, at least I put more effort into making this better. I'll try to update at least once a week from now on, although there aren't really that many chapters left. So, read Chapter Fifteen and please tell me what you think of it!

And to Anna from Finland: So great to hear that you're reading this and liking this. And yea, Finnish is my first language, but for some weird reason ended up replying to you in English. So, anyway please keep reading and send me more feedback, in English, Finnish or Swedish!:)

Chapter Fifteen

*Stars Hollow, The Gilmore House, Sunday 9pm*

Lorelai was sitting by the kitchen table, sipping the coffee that Luke had made for her a while ago. He'd taken the night off work, leaving Ceasar and Jess in the diner by themselves. Although he'd pretended being annoyed about it, he was actually pretty pleased to say at the house in peace. 

Rory had left Stars Hollow a few hours ago, and so Lorelai and Luke had fell into their normal daily routine once again. Luke was watching tv in the living room when he heard Lorelai calling his name and he had to get up and go to the kitchen.

"Yea?" he said as he sat down facing her and yawned.

"What do you think about it?"

Luke lifted his eyebrows and looked at Lorelai hesitantly.

"About… what?"

"Rory and Jess. Jess and Rory. What's gonna happen? Is something gonna happen? When is it gonna happen? What will…"

"Okay, okay, calm down there" he sighed when he noticed Lorelai getting over-excited about the subject. "I don't really know, but then again, I don't think they know either"

"Have you talked with Jess?" Lorelai said and took another sip of the coffee.

"Well, not about Rory, not lately. But you know he's crazy about her, right? He's really… It's weird to see him now, he's so different, so mature and grown-up. I think he just wants to give this thing time and see where it goes"

"That's good" Lorelai said pensively. "You know, I looked at Rory when she packed her stuff together and she looked relaxed. She didn't have that tense expression on her face anymore, and I think she was actually smiling to herself"

Luke smiled and nodded knowingly. It seemed that things were finally making progress between Rory and Jess. And Luke and Lorelai were both happy being able to see it from the sidelines.

"I just really hope that they can make this work. I can't even imagine how hard it is" Lorelai said seriously and then looked at Luke for confirmation. 

"If I know Jess at all, he won't give up on Rory again. He's done that once and I know he doesn't want or need any more regrets" 

"I hope so, Luke. I'll just say that the day those two are together again, I'll throw a party that never ends"

"Well, I better warn them in time" Luke said with a smiled and after kissing Lorelai quickly, he went back into the living room.

*New York, Mel's apartment, 10pm*

"He told you he loves you" Mel said and stared ahead wistfully.

Rory nodded with a smile and then sipped the hot chocolate she was holding. She and Mel were both curled up on the couch, at opposite ends covered by a blanket. 

"The gorgeous, dark haired, brown eyed, world traveller, great lover and intelligent man that is Jess Mariano, told you that he still loves you" 

Rory listened to her friend's dreamy voice and chuckled. 

"Great lover? Where did that come from?" she asked while grinning.

"Hey, it's not like you haven't ever hinted that, and I've seen the way he moves. The guy must be… Okay, I won't say that aloud" Mel winked at Rory and made her laugh even harder.

It felt good to talk about this with Mel, she always managed to bring humour into even the most difficult situations. And everything she'd said was true. Jess was gorgeous, he'd seen the world and he was probably the most intelligent person Rory knew. And yea, he was a great lover. 

"You're blushing!" Mel squealed. "So, I'm right, aren't I?"

"Perhaps" Rory admitted beaming and then adjusted herself better on the couch. "But you know, Mel, this is so… unreal"

"Yea, I bet it is" Mel said more seriously and then they remained quiet for a while. "You told him that you love him and he told you that he loves you. So now you're… doing what?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean, you're gonna see him? Is this thing between you two… moving ahead, any progress in the horizon?"

"He's coming to New York on Wednesday"

"You have a date?" Mel's eyes were bright, but Rory managed to calm her down by saying that they'd just agreed to meet up when Jess was coming to the city. 

"He has a meeting here, it's nothing big, Mel"

"Do you think I'll buy that after seeing you around him? Do you have any idea how you look at him, or how he looks at you for that matter? It's big, Rory. I don't mean to put pressure on you, but the fact that you two are going to see each other now, that's just big"

Rory frowned and looked at Mel rather helplessly. She probably wasn't really prepared for this, she hadn't actually grasped the idea that she was going to see Jess again in a few days.

"This situation is a tough one. But I'm pretty confident you'll make it work. Eventually, you and Jess are gonna end up together. It's just inevitable"

Rory looked at Mel and nodded slowly. Mel was convincing, Rory knew that Mel truly believed that she and Jess would be together again. But when Rory tried to imagine it, picture it in her mind, it was hard. For so many years, being with Jess again was the only thing she'd wanted. Then she'd given up, and then he was back. And she'd tried so hard to deny that she even wanted him anymore, and now it was possible. It was possible that they might end up together again. But it just didn't seem real.

Rory got off the couch asking Mel if she wanted more hot chocolate. Mel did and so they went to the kitchen to refill their mugs. 

"I meant to ask you about the boxes in the hallway" Rory said as she poured the drink into her mug.

"They're yours" Mel said and smiled at Rory kindly when her friend turned to see her. "Pete brought them over"

"Oh" Rory said quietly and put her mug down to turn to look at her friend. "How was he?"

"He was… Okay, I think. He's been working hard, as always"

"But he looked fine?" Rory asked and concern was obvious in her voice.

Mel nodded and then said that he was pretty sure that things were going to turn out well for Pete.

"You see, my date got cancelled yesterday, so I ended up going to the movies with him"

"You did?" Rory asked amazed and when Mel told her that they'd seen a movie and then gone out to eat, she ended up smiling. "Do you know how great it is to hear that? I've felt really bad, but if you think he's sort of okay…"

"He's as okay as a person can be in a situation like this. He's got a mourning period going on, and so do you even though it's different being in your shoes"

Rory listened when Mel told her what she and Pete had talked about. It seemed that Pete hadn't lost his good sense of humour, but instead he and Mel had had fun together. And it was good to hear that Pete had spent a lot of time with his friends, because Rory knew very well that isolation was never the best solution in a difficult situation. She had been there herself after Jess had left, and it had been really hard to move on when she'd just shut everything and everyone outside.

"I think you should see him, Rory. Talk with him, about the future and how you'll… proceed"

"Yea, I know I should" Rory said and seemed lost in her thoughts for a minute. Then she looked up at Mel again and smiled slightly. "You know, I'm pretty lucky to have a friend like you, Mel. I mean you've done so much since Jess had been back…"

"Hey, Rory. It's nothing. And besides, I needed some entertainment for myself since my own life is so damn boring" Mel complained as they returned to the couch.

"Oh yea, Mel" Rory said laughing. "You're just known world wide for your boring and uneventful life"

*NBC, Wednesday noon*

Rory walked down the hallway toward her office. Her stomach was rumbling and she sighed when she opened the door to her room. She was hungry and she had just come back from lunch. And what a lunch it had been. She'd gone to her favourite hotdog stand and for half an hour she'd sat at the park wondering if she'd actually be able to eat it the hotdog she'd bought. 

Jess had called her the previous night and after a brief and a rather awkward phone conversation they'd agreed to see each other after Rory got off work. So Rory was nervous. Actually nervous was a definite understatement. She felt sick. And when Mel had been excited about her seeing Jess, she'd said it was no big deal. The hell it wasn't.

Rory leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She put her hands on her stomach and wondered if she could call Mel, who was having a lunch date, and ask her to bring her a sandwich. Rory was pretty sure that she might actually be able to eat a normal sandwich without throwing up, but her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Bill's amused voice.

"Do we pay you for sleeping, Ms Gilmore?"

Rory opened her eyes and smiled at her boss.

"I'd imagine that you don't, and I think it's unfortunate" 

"So, you had a heavy lunch?" Bill asked when he stepped further into the room.

Rory smiled faintly and mumbled that she wouldn't actually say that.

"But, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I have a little job for you, Rory. I need you to go to Chicago for a conference"

"Oh please don't tell me I need to leave tomorrow. The last conference in London was sort of short notice" Rory said and looked at Bill pleadingly. 

"Yea, I'm sorry about that. But this one is in two weeks, my secretary will bring you the itinerary today, or tomorrow or… some day"

"Okay. That sounds good. Actually, it's great cause then I can go and see a friend of mine living in Chicago"

"Well, I'm glad you like the job" Bill said as he went back to the door. "So, is Mel having lunch, I didn't see her in her office?"

"A date" Rory said with a smile. 

"Of course" Bill replied with a knowing nod and left the room chuckling. 

*Washington Square Park, 6pm*

Jess had been sitting on the bench for a while now. He'd known that he'd be there before Rory so he had a book with him to prevent him from getting bored. But he hadn't managed to read, he'd just kept browsing the book, reading one sentence here and there, he just hadn't been able to concentrate.  

He was going to see Rory, and it felt weird. Actually just the idea of seeing Rory, alone, was terrifying.  He and Rory, meeting at Washington Square Park where they'd actually spent time ages ago, when they were together. Jess took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his other hand. He felt so uncomfortable, and no matter how hard he tried to relax himself, he didn't seem able to do that. 

"Hey"

He heard her voice and after once last attempt to calm himself down he looked up at her.

"Hi" he said when he saw her standing there, her cheeks flushed and her hair up on a ponytail.

It was obvious that they were both nervous. Both were able to see it and it made them even more tense and edgy. They just looked at each other, and they were both trying desperately to say something. 

Eventually Rory sat down next to him and looked around in the park.

"So, I hope you haven't been waiting long" she said quietly, not turning her gaze to Jess.

"Nope, and besides I had a book"

"Of course" Rory said and smiled while stealing a glance at him. 

She was finding it hard to breath, let alone act normal around him. She was even finding it hard to look at him, although she wanted to look at him, she wanted to look at him desperately. He looked so good, so incredible. His black coat was perfect for him, his haircut was great and his nervous face made her want to… She wondered what it would be like to touch him, touch his cheek and his lips. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him, if it would be like she remembered it to be, perfect, the most natural thing in the world.

"So, how was you meeting?" Rory asked him trying to push her disturbing thoughts to the back of her mind. 

To her luck, the publication process of books seemed to be a very versatile and safe subject to talk about, and so they fell into conversation rather easily.  

Jess and Rory ended up walking around the park for a while and then they headed to get some pizza. Rory was pleased to get something to eat, even though she was still extremely tense, at least now she managed to get something down her throat. 

"So, are you looking for an apartment?" Jess asked her when they were finishing their pizzas.

"Yea, well, I'm gonna start looking. It's great staying with Mel, but I just don't get anything done there. And I think it would do me good to have a place of my own"

"Yea, it probably would" Jess admitted with a nod.

"So, how long are you gonna stay in Stars Hollow?"

"I'm not sure. I sort of… like there, so I don't think I'm gonna be in a hurry to leave"

Rory smiled, and for the first time that night, it was a relaxed smile. Jess liked living in Stars Hollow, it was good to hear that. 

Jess knew that Rory was smiling because of what he'd said and he was glad to see her smile so spontaneously. He'd been observing her closely while they ate, noticing that her gestures or eating habits hadn't actually changed all that much. And he'd marvelled at how beautiful she was, it seemed to him that she was even more beautiful that before. She didn't really look older, Jess wouldn't have believed that she was twenty-seven if he hadn't known it. She still seemed so innocent, so youthful and pure. When Jess thought about all that she'd been through and all that she was going through right now, he wondered if she's just managed to hide all the pain and disappointments deep inside her. Jess wanted to reach out his hand to hers, touch her and hold her tightly against him. He wanted to help her somehow, and show her how much he'd missed her and how sorry he really was. 

"Well" he said, when Rory lifted her gaze to meet his. "I guess I should take you back to Mel's. You have to go to work tomorrow and I have to drive back to Stars Hollow tonight, so…"

"Yea, let's get going" Rory agreed and they walked to Jess's car in a rather comfortable silence. 

*Mel's apartment, 9.30pm*

Rory stepped inside the apartment and went straight to the couch. She threw herself on her back and then hit herself with a pillow.

"Hey there" Mel said coming from her bedroom. "What are you doing?"

"Hitting myself" she mumbled and then sat up to look at Mel. "I'm just an idiot, Mel"

"What happened?" Mel asked looking concerned. "You did see Jess, right?"

"Yea, I saw him. And I was so nervous that I had a hard time looking at him, let alone talking to him. All we talked about was how novels get published and we were both just trying to keep the conversation…"

"Safe" Mel said and nodded slowly. "It's okay, Rory. It's understandable that you were nervous, actually I think it was expected. Two people with the kind of history that you two share can't just…"

"But I screwed this up, Mel" Rory whines and buried her face in the pillow.

"No, you didn't. This situation is so… un-normal that normal behaviour in your position would be strange"

"It was awful, Mel. I mean, I kept looking at him, thinking that I missed him and I wanted to talk with him about everything and I wanted to… kiss him, or hold him or just…"

"I know" Mel said understandingly. 

Rory stared into the distance and sighed. The night had been hell and she'd just wanted to get away, but still, she already missed looking at him or just hearing his voice.

A/N: I so hope that this one was a better chapter than the last one. And even if it wasn't, please tell me, but be gentle about it. I want to improve, but it seems hard. Anyway, the remaining chapters will be all about Rory and Jess. And like I said before, I'll try my best to have the next chapter for you guys in a week. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: I didn't get too many reviews for the next chapter, although I am eternally grateful for the ones I did get. I'm just really unsure of my writing right now so it would be good to hear what you think of this. So even know I myself am the laziest reviewer that has ever existed, I hope you guys send me feedback after reading this chapter. And I hope you'll like it…:)

Chapter Sixteen

*Stars Hollow, The Gilmore House, Friday 10pm*

Rory stood on the porch and looked around. There were no cars on the driveway, and the house was dark and quiet. She opened her bag to take out the keys and then opened the door to her old home.

"Mom? Luke?" she said as she put the lights on and found the house definitely empty. 

Rory had talked with her mother on Tuesday and Lorelai had said nothing about going somewhere for the weekend. Rory wondered where she might be when she brought her bag into the house and went to settle into her old room.

She unpacked her bag and then sat on the bedside. She hadn't slept in this room for years, but since Jess had been back she'd automatically wanted to sleep there instead of the bigger guestroom upstairs. And she knew why. Here she felt close to Jess, in this room she felt Jess to be somehow present. At least the memories she had of him were very vivid here.   

Rory got off the bed and went to get the phone. She dialled her mother's cell phone number and after a brief conversation with Lorelai, she found out that Luke and her mother had rented a cabin for the weekend and they were coming back home on Sunday night. Rory couldn't help but smile when she thought how much more spontaneous Luke was these days, at least compared to the way he'd been before he got together with Lorelai. Rory knew that even a year ago Lorelai would never have succeeded in getting Luke to spend a weekend at a cabin, away from the diner and his every day routines.  

Rory sat down on the couch to think. Her mom and Luke were away for the weekend, which meant that she now had the house all to herself. Although Rory had hoped to talk with her mother about the current situation, she was beginning to think that it might actually be good to have a more peaceful weekend. That way she'd be able to concentrate solely on the one thing she really wanted to concentrate on, the Jess situation. Or better yet, just Jess.

Despite all the mayhem and uncertainty that still surrounded her and Jess, and despite the terrible evening they'd spent together just a few days before, just thinking of him made Rory's heart actually miss a beat. And when she thought about the way he looked, his face and the way his voice sounded and his smile, she found herself beaming. For some reason it was easier to feel excited and happy about Jess in Stars Hollow than in New York. In New York things were more… maybe more real. In Stars Hollow, it was impossible to forget or overlook how good she and Jess had been together, here she remembered why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.

Rory was taking it easy, she showered and then settled on the couch in her mother's bathrobe. She felt comfortable, but nevertheless, also hungry. She was just trying to decide whether she should order Chinese or Indian food when there was a knock on the door. She got up and adjusted the robe better on herself before answering the door.

Rory experienced the strongest feeling of déjà vu. And when had it happened before? Almost then years ago, he'd been standing there with a box in his hands. A box filled with food. And the strangest thing of all was that tonight he looked just the same as all those years ago.

"Jess" Rory breathed quietly and unconsciously tried to cover herself better with the bathrobe.

"Hi. Sorry to come like this, I just wanted…" Jess started talking with slight hesitation, but then he saw Rory smile at him reassuringly.

"Come in"

They went into the kitchen and Jess put the box on the table. He told Rory that he'd seen her driving past the diner and knowing that Lorelai and Luke were away, he'd decided to bring her something to eat.

"I appreciate it" Rory replied as they stood facing each other, eyeing alternately the food and each other. 

"Anyway, I just wanted to bring it to you so you won't have to order in from anywhere"

"Can you stay and eat? There's enough here for both of us, and a dozen other people" Rory said and the light and seemingly relaxed tone of her voice made Jess smirk.

"This sort of reminds me of one time, when you were together with Dean and…"

Rory nodded and laughed saying she'd just thought of the same thing.

"But will you stay?" she said and looked at Jess rather hopefully. "We could try being less awkward with each other than on Wednesday"

The fact that Rory seemed much more relaxed right now than during their previous encounter, made Jess say that he'd stay. And of course, an invitation to stay was what he had been hoping for all along. 

"I'll go and put some clothes on, why don't you unpack the food while I change?"

"Will do" Jess replied with a smile when Rory disappeared into her old bedroom and appeared a few minutes later wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

When they sat down to eat, Rory wondered if she should have put on some make up, and Jess found it hard not to stare at the beautiful woman sitting on the other side of the table. 

And hour later, after having eaten an enormous amount of fries and a few hamburgers and after having drunk way too much coffee for one night, Rory leaned back in her chair and looked at Jess. She was listening to him talk about certain European writers that he'd began to like in the past years, and his excitement made Rory feel all warm inside. 

So Stars Hollow, or at least the Gilmore House seemed to have a good influence on them. They were both enjoying the night and especially each other's company. They hadn't actually managed to dug into very personal matters, but at least they were talking properly, having a conversation about books and writers. It was almost like the conversations they use to have.

"You're smiling" Jess said and looked at Rory curiously. 

Rory replied to his words by letting a wider grin rise on her face and then she shook her head slightly.

"I just like listening to you, that's all" she said softly and her words made Jess stiffen on his chair. "I think you're voice is a bit older than it used to be" Rory continued pensively.

"I'm a bit older than I used to be" Jess chuckled, but then got more serious again. "When I was standing behind your front door tonight, I felt like seventeen again"

"You looked like seventeen again" Rory said and smiled kindly at him. "So, why did you really come tonight? I mean, after the pretty uneasy night on Wednesday, you probably weren't just dying for my company"

"I guess I just wanted to see if we could be… comfortable around each other. It's frustrating when sometimes we seem to be okay and then sometimes…"

"Yea" Rory admitted and wrinkled her forehead. "I guess it's because we don't know where we are. I mean, there's no way we can start over again after everything. And there's no way we can just pick up where we left off seven years ago either"

Jess nodded and after a brief silence during which both seemed to have been lost in their thoughts, he asked Rory what they should do.

"I guess we should just take this one day at a time. Not think too much about where we are and where we're heading"

Rory had a point, and a good one. They were in a situation which was everything but normal. They were trying to build something new on an old foundation, which was covered with the debris of the past years.

"Do you have regrets?" Rory asked and looked at Jess actually fearing his answer slightly. "I mean, regrets about having me in your life again"

Jess wasn't sure if she was serious. As if he could ever regret having her in his life. The fact that he had a chance with her again was just overwhelming, so he shook his head reassuringly.

"I could regret everything in my life, but not you"

That was it. Maybe it was his words, which Rory knew to be true. Or maybe it was the way he said them and the tone of his voice. Or maybe it was his eyes when he looked at her like no one else had ever looked at her. Because whatever it was, it made Rory turn her gaze away from him and blink trying to fight the tears that came into her eyes. She got up hastily, turning her back on Jess and going to the door of her bedroom. She wiped her cheek and heard Jess get up.

He went to her slowly. She was leaning against the doorway, looking down and trying to control herself. Jess looked at her without saying a word and then, instinctively, knowing that it was the thing he was born to do, he pulled her into his embrace. 

He closed his eyes and Rory buried her face in his shoulder and cried. He tightened his hold on her, while she clung on to him desperately. He could feel her soft hair against his cheek and he sighed when he realised that she had really missed him just as much as he had missed her. And it was almost too much, grasping the idea that he still had her and that he was actually holding her right now. It was almost too much, because it was just as he had remembered it to be, it was perfection. 

"I just missed you so much" Rory whispered barely audibly and after hearing her words he placed a gentle kiss on her hair. 

"I'm here now, Rory" he said back quietly. "And I'm not going anywhere"

Rory pulled slightly further away from him and lifted her head to look at him properly. He took his hands from her waist and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. His actions made Rory smile faintly and she took a few steps away from him, finally ending up sitting on her bedside. She looked down at her hands when she began to speak.

"When I read the novel, I was so happy. Cause when you left, I missed you so much that I didn't have the energy to do anything else. And I would have given anything I had, just to see you again, or just to know that you were okay"

Jess came to the bed and sat down next to her. She looked up at him and her eyes met his, which were looking at her in pain.

"I spent hours every day, just thinking about you. And at the same time, I was afraid that you'd found someone else. I was afraid that you loved someone else more than you loved me. And then eventually, I saw you with Cate… And I thought you didn't love me anymore" her voice became quieter and quieter while she spoke and eventually it was only a whisper. 

Jess listened to her knowing exactly what she meant and what she had gone through. Soothingly he placed his palm against her cheek and nodded slightly.

"But when I read the novel… I know it was wrong, but when I realised that you'd been hurting, too and you'd missed me just as much as I had missed you… I was so happy to know that, because I still loved you and I felt like all the time I spent missing you hadn't gone to waste because you'd missed me, too"

"Did you really think that I didn't?" Jess asked and looked at her with a worried expression on his face. 

"I was afraid" Rory answered honestly.

"You won't have to be afraid again. We're both here now. And no one else makes a difference right now, just you and me"

"Yea" Rory sighed and looked at him sheepishly. "And you're not gonna go away again, right?"

"Right" Jess said and smiled. "I'm around for as long as you want me to be"

"It might be a long time" Rory said and felt like a little girl again as she smiled at him shyly. 

"That's what I'm counting on" 

Wide smiles had spread on both their faces and they were fully aware of how stupid they probably looked right now. Because right now, probably for the first time since Jess had been back, they saw each other as just Jess and Rory. And although so much had changed and although they were now grown-ups, deep down they were still the same people they had always been. And it was so clear on this moment that everything they had ever shared was still there. The love, the friendship, the respect and the passion.

They were still smiling, it was surprisingly hard to stop. And it was surprisingly easy for Jess to place his hand against her cheek again and then let it slowly run down to her jawline and eventually settle behind her neck. Rory shuddered slightly under his touch and never breaking eye contact with him she carefully leaned toward him. His fingers stroked the skin on the back of her neck slowly, but every little movement by him made her go through overwhelming feelings. Flashbacks from the past, remembering how he used to touch her in exactly the same way, in a way that only he could touch her.

She closed her eyes when she realised their faces were only inches apart. And then she felt his cheek against hers, and he pulled away only to replace his cheek with his lips. They were warm and soft and they moved on her skin slowly, barely touching her but making her tremble even more. And when his hand came from the back of her neck to her cheek, his lips touched hers.

He pulled away again and she opened her eyes to look at him. She saw the emotions she herself was going through on his face. He grazed her cheek gently once more and then stood up and walked to the door. He turned to look at her and smiled. 

"I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast"

Rory nodded and then watched him go. Moments later she heard the front door close and she knew that it had all been worth it. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: Initially when I started writing this story, I didn't intend for Rory and Jess get back together (hence the name of the story). But then, as I was writing, it really began to seem the only option. And I'm glad I took that road with this story…:) 

So, there aren't too many chapters left, but we'll get to see things develop further between Rory and Jess, don't worry about that. And it was suggested in a review that I should write an epilogue. I hadn't thought about that, but it does sound like a good idea. So, if you'd like to see an epilogue at the end of this story, please do tell me. And naturally, tell me what you think of this chapter. I am so grateful and happy for all your feedback!:)

Chapter Seventeen

*New York, Saturday 11pm*

Cate took a sip of the cappuccino the waiter had just brought her and then put the cup down on the table again. She stared at the brown liquid pensively, thinking that now she had done it. She had packed all of Jess's things away. Jess's study, his favourite place in their apartment, was now empty. The shelves on the walls were empty, the desk had nothing on it. The life that she had had with Jess was now packed in the boxes which covered the floor.

It had been tough putting all his things away. She'd collected everything that reminded her of him and hid it in the boxes. She'd even put her engagement ring into one of the boxes. And she'd thought that it would get easier now that he and the reminders she'd had of him were gone. But it hadn't got easier. 

Cate knew that Jess was at Stars Hollow, and she knew that if she permanently wanted to get rid of his things she'd have to call him. But she really didn't want to do that. Maybe because she was afraid of what she might hear from him. Cate hadn't talked to Rory after her break-up with Jess. From Mel she had heard that Rory had moved out of her and Pete's apartment, but other than that she knew nothing of the developments between Jess and Rory. And she really didn't want to know.  

Cate lifted her gaze from the coffee, only to see Pete's smiling face looking at her. 

"Pete!" she instinctively smiled. "It's great to see you"

"Same here" Pete replied happily. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"No, not at all" Cate said as Pete sat down facing her. 

Cate and Pete sat there in silence, and neither was really uncomfortable about it. Cate looked at Pete observantly, trying to read his thoughts and emotions from his face. He looked good, not at all stressed or weary, he didn't look like a man who would have spent sleepless nights thinking about his life.

"I think I'm gonna move to Washington" 

Pete's words broke the silence, which had lasted for quite some time. Cate looked at him with confusion and asked where he had got the idea.

"I've had a project there for a while now, and I've spent so much time there that the place has really become a second home for me. I have a job there, and it would be good for me to get some distance from… this city and everything that's happened. And our apartment is… just not a good place for me"

"I can only imagine" Cate said with a sigh. "I can't stop thinking about Jess when I'm home"

"Yea" Pete said with a nod and looked at Cate cautiously. "So, how are you?"

"Okay" Cate replied quickly and then smiled a bit. "Well, not really okay, but… A part of me really wants to hate him, but then again… I know he never wanted to hurt me, or anyone else… I just wish that I wouldn't feel so stupid. I didn't have a clue about any of this, I really thought that he loved me just as much as I loved him"

Cate hadn't looked at Pete while she'd talked. She'd just stared ahead, speaking calmly and quietly. Pete listened to her, realising that her pain was perhaps even greater than his, because it had all happened even faster for her. At least he had seen it coming the moment Jess came back.

"Have you talked with him after he left?"

Cate shook her head, telling Pete that she would have to call him now that she wanted him to come and get his stuff. And she didn't want to call him, because she wasn't at all sure that she'd be able to handle hearing about him and Rory.

"I haven't seen Rory in weeks. It's been a lot of avoiding at work" Cate laughed rather sarcastically and then sighed once again. "But I can't blame her either, she hasn't done anything wrong, she hasn't done anything to hurt me"

"I guess the worst thing of all is that there is no one to blame. And there's no one to hate" Pete said pensively.

"No, I think the worst thing is that there's no way to stop loving"

*Stars Hollow, noon*

Rory walked into the diner, said hi to people she knew and went to the counter. Jess was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Ceasar. She sighed and then got up to go behind the counter. She poured herself a cup of coffee just as Jess appeared from upstairs.

"What's going on here?" he asked with a smirk when he saw Rory sipping the coffee.

"Apparently there's no service in this diner, that's what's going on" Rory snapped at him and returned to the appropriate side of the counter. 

She sat down again and smiled. It was involuntary, she just couldn't help it. 

"A good day?" 

Even thought Rory wasn't looking at him, she could hear from his voice that he was smiling, too. And his 

voice was just right. Rory looked up at him and nodded, and she marvelled at how good he looked. Then she had to smile even more, and it seemed to be getting out of control. 

"So, would you like breakfast?" 

"Yeah" Rory said and took a deep breath before she ordered her french toast. "So, you're working till

tonight?"

"Yeah. I promised Ceasar that I'd close tonight"

"I can help you, if you want" Rory offered rather timidly.

"Yea, that'd be good" Jess replied approvingly and then disappeared into the kitchen. 

Rory was lost in her thoughts, which mostly consisted of Jess, when she was suddenly startled by a very familiar voice.

"There you are, Rory!"

Rory turned in her seat and saw Lane staring at her with sparkling eyes. 

"Lane! Oh gosh, I completely forgot that you and Mark were coming here this weekend!"

Rory stood up and went to hug her friend. 

"Everything okay?" she asked eyeing Lane's abdomen and Lane gave her a reassuring nod. "I'm so glad to hear that"

Lane and Rory sat down by the counter just as Jess came from the kitchen. Seeing Lane next to Rory, he obviously stiffened slightly and eyed Rory's friend somewhat nervously. He didn't know Lane's opinion on everything that had happened. And he really didn't know Lane's opinion on him.

"Hey, Jess" Lane greeted him with a smile and so allowed him to relax a bit.

"It's good to see you" Jess replied and then looked at Rory who smiled at him reassuringly. "Can I get you anything, Lane?"

"Yea, lots of fries and two burgers. Mark is coming right after me, he just had to help my mom with some furniture"

Again, Jess went into the kitchen, leaving the girls to talk in private. Lane lifted her eyebrows and looked at Rory curiously. 

"Let's go for a walk after we've eaten" was the only thing Rory said to her and then smiled playfully.

"So, there's something to talk about?" Lane said quietly and after Rory had nodded slightly, Mark walked in and came to give Rory a hug.

*2pm*

"What do you think?" Rory looked at Lane and felt slightly nervous. 

Lane and Rory had walked to the bridge, and now they were sitting down. Rory had told Lane about the events of the past week, and especially about the previous night. And Rory's face had been glowing when she'd spoken. 

"I know you love him, Rory" Lane started to speak slowly and carefully. "And when you first told me that he was back, I expected this to happen. He has always had this effect on you. And I don't mean to sound harsh, but he left you once, Rory. He's not like you, he needs different things than you do. And even though I'm sure that he loves you, it is obvious that he really does, are you sure that he's ready to settle down now?"

Rory had been listening to Lane's words with a concerned and serious expression on her face. Lane's opinion meant a lot to her, after all, they had known each other all their lives and Lane also knew Jess really well. 

"He told me he loves me. And he told me that he won't leave again. And he let me read his novel and it made me sure of… everything" Rory wasn't looking at Lane when she spoke, she just stared into the water calmly. "And even if I wasn't sure… It would be worth it, Lane" Rory said while she lifted her gaze to her friend. 

"I know it would" Lane said and seeing the look in her eyes, Rory knew that Lane meant what she said.

It had been so long since Lane had seen Rory like this. They had gone through a lot together, they had helped each other at difficult times and always supported each other. They knew each other better than most best friends did. Lane knew that Jess was the only person who could make Rory genuinely happy, the way that Mark made her happy. And the only thing Lane wanted for her friend, was for her to be happy. That had been her goal when she'd encouraged Rory to marry Pete.

"And Pete?"

"I'm going to call him and see him soon, hopefully next week. I want to get this divorce over and done with, it'll be the best thing for both of us"

"Is he okay?" Lane asked with genuine concern.

Rory shook her head saying that she didn't really know. They hadn't talked after Rory had moved out and she hadn't had the courage to contact him after that.

"He was prepared. I think he always feared the day when Jess would be back" Lane said pensively.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" Rory asked quietly, realising that she couldn't even understand how much he was hurting.

"We've all made mistakes along the way, Rory. Everything depends on how we correct them. Talk to him, make sure he knows that what you two shared meant something to you. But I think he's already forgiven you"

Rory smiled slightly when she looked at Lane and then hugged her tightly. She knew she was so lucky to have a friend as wonderful as she was, she never had to feel alone and she truly hoped that Pete wasn't alone either. 

"I'm so glad you're gonna have a baby, Lane" she said as she pulled away from her friend and looked at her with a grin.

"Yea, I'm really glad too, Rory" Lane replied as she took Rory's hand and squeezed it gently.

*9pm*

Rory crossed the street and saw that the diner was only partially lit and empty of customers. She had just left Mrs Kim's house where she had had dinner with Lane and Mark and as she now entered the diner, she didn't see Jess anywhere.

"Jess?" Rory called his name and before she had the time to realise what was happening, a rag was flying in the air towards her.

She managed to catch it before it hit her face and when she looked behind the counter, she saw Jess smirking at her.

"So, this is the thanks I get for volunteering to help you?" she said and lifted her eyebrows.

"Well, maybe I'll think of something else for later"

Jess's words caught Rory off guard and she felt a blush creeping onto her face. Jess noticed her reaction, and although he was tempted to comment on her dirty-ish imagination, he decided that it would be better to stay quiet. But when Rory turned her back to him to start wiping the tables, she heard him chuckle and shook her head slightly amused herself.   

Jess went into the kitchen while Rory cleaned the tables and chairs in the diner. She had just finished wiping the floor and she was occupied in her thoughts when she heard Jess's voice.

"I talked with Lane today"

Rory turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen door. She put down the mop and sat on the corner of a table.

"She told me not to hurt you"

Rory nodded slightly. She should have known that Lane would do something like this.

"Do you trust me, Rory?"

Rory looked at him, at the expression on his face when he said the words. The look in his eyes was so observant and at the same time it was worried. And she felt the weird, but also very familiar feeling in her stomach again. 

"You've never given me a reason not to trust you, Jess" she said softly, but also with a voice that was reassuring.

The expression on his face didn't change. He just looked at her, still and quiet. And then he walked through the diner. He came to her and stood between her legs. He was so close to her and when she looked up at his face, she was startled. The expression on his face was so gentle and soft, and suddenly she felt like the most incredible creature in the world, just because he was looking at her.

"I never thought I'd be this close to you again" he practically whispered and now his eyes were filled with pain and regret.

Rory stared at him, she felt she couldn't breath, she felt her heart had stopped beating altogether. Seeing him like this, seeing his vulnerability and pain right before her eyes was overwhelming. 

Rory put her arms around him cautiously, and then tucked her face into his neck. She could feel his heart quick pulse and when he wrapped his arms around her, she heard him sigh.  

"I don't wanna hurt you again, Rory"

Rory knew that although he had apologized for the fact that he had left her, and although she had said that she didn't blame him for anything, he wouldn't be able to get over the self-accusation overnight. He blamed himself for all that had happened, all the hurt caused to so many people because he wanted to go. And Rory didn't know how to make him believe that it wasn't all his fault. 

"I know" Rory said when she held him tighter. 

"I'm just so sorry for everything"

"I know" Rory said as she pulled away from his embrace. "But I don't want you to be sorry. I don't want you to regret things that have happened. I wouldn't know anything without you. I wouldn't know what passion is, I wouldn't know what it's like to be deliriously happy, so happy that you feel sick. Without you I wouldn't know anything about pain. And I never want to give any of those things up, Jess"

He stood looking at her, her serious face, her blue eyes looked at him with such warmth. And he knew that her words were true. He knew that he could make her happy, he knew what she looked like when she was happy because of him. And when he looked at her now, she was the most incredible thing that had ever existed, she was almost surreal. 

He brought his hand to her hair, he stroked it gently, just looking at her. Right now he felt strangely serene, strangely at ease. How could she, the person who could make him feel immense anxiety and overwhelming happiness, also make him feel this peaceful? He couldn't understand it, he had never understood it, but he didn't really care. He pulled her closer to him, still not taking his eyes off her face. It seemed that the longer he watched her, the harder it was to turn his gaze away. 

It was maybe just now that Rory realised Jess's vulnerability. She had read about his feelings and thoughts, he had told her about them, but now that she saw the way he looked at her… It seemed inconceivable that the look in his eyes was there because of her. And it felt so comforting to know that he had missed her just as much as she had missed him.

They were so close to each other right now, Rory could actually feel his heartbeat against her chest. The intimacy they shared was so strong and also comforting. Jess tightened his hold on Rory when he tipped his head slightly and carefully pressed his lips against hers. It was a light kiss, he pulled away immediately, but Rory didn't want to let go of him. She wrapped her arms firmly around him, but when she kissed him, her lips still seemed timid and cautious. Jess felt her hesitation, after all, they hadn't kissed properly in seven years. He pressed her whole body against his possessively and deepened the kiss. 

Nobody knew her like he did. Nobody knew her body like he did. His hands moved down, and found the bare skin between her sweater and jeans. Rory quivered when she felt his touch on her skin, the way his fingertips moved, barely touching her, made her feel out of control. Somehow they managed to calm down slightly and after catching their breaths, their lips met again, but this time the kiss was slow and tender. Jess's hands moved up her back slowly, and Rory realised just how much she had missed this, the way he could make her feel. She had spent so many nights remembering what it was like to be touched by him, how she could feel her whole body come to life with him. 

Jess brought his hands down her back and then withdrew them completely from under her sweater. They broke apart, and Jess looked at Rory softly. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and her hair was adorably messy. She bit her bottom lip slightly, and tried to hide the desire and want she had just felt by looking down. But Jess knew her.

"Do you have any idea how badly I wanna take you upstairs right now" he spoke with a voice that seemed soft and gruff at the same time. 

The combination of the tone of his voice and his words made Rory blush. She looked up at him again and smiled. 

"I'll take a rain-check on that" she replied and made Jess nod approvingly. 

They looked at each other silently for a while, trying to calm down and their thoughts rational again. 

"So, should we get back to work?" Rory eventually asked him.

"Yea, but there's not too much to do. I can finish this by myself"

Rory shook her head saying that she didn't mind helping him at all. Quite the contrary. Jess got back to work and Rory jumped off the table still feeling rather shaken. But she liked feeling that way, she felt alive.

The got back to work silently again, Jess was doing something behind the counter, when Rory stopped to look at him.

"Lane is gonna have a baby, Jess" 

Jess forgot whatever it was that he was doing and turned to see Rory. She was smiling and her face was actually glowing. Lane's pregnancy was such a huge thing for her, she had been there all the way with her. And she hadn't yet had the chance to share it with anyone, she hadn't been able to tell anyone about it. But now she wanted to tell Jess.

"That's great" he said and seemed so pleased about the news that Rory wanted to run to him and hug him again. 

"Yea, it is" she just said with a grin and then got back to organizing the tables and chairs properly. 

Jess hadn't gone back to work though. He was standing still, looking at Rory quietly. She didn't even notice it at first, but when she glanced at Jess, she too stilled and looked at him curiously. 

"I love you, Rory"

His words weren't a dramatic announcement or even a romantic gesture. It seemed to be more of a simple statement, as if he hadn't even meant to say it aloud. But it also seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to say, and to Rory his words were all she wanted to hear. She walked to him and stood just a few inches away from him. 

"I love you, too"

Jess pulled Rory against him and she took a deep breath when she buried her face in his neck. She had her arms around him and he was holding her so tightly. She took a deep breath, once again amazed by the fact that he could smell so good. And right now she wondered how she had been able to live seven years without him ever touching her.  

*New York, midnight*

Cate closed the apartment door behind her and walked through the dark apartment to the kitchen. She opened the fridge door and took out a beer. She opened it and then went to the living room and sat on the couch.

It had been a long day and she had got a lot done. She'd gone to work for a few hours in the afternoon, she'd done some shopping and eventually she'd had dinner with Pete. Cate lied down on the couch with the beer bottle in her hand. She was really glad that she had bumped into Pete that morning. Right now she was thinking about her life in new ways and she was actually seeing options and making plans.

After Jess had left, she'd simply stayed still. All she had done was go to work and come home, and the only thing she'd been thinking about was Jess. She had been stuck in the situation, with no ability to move forward or even think about moving on. But today she had seen Pete, and she'd seen that no matter how much it hurt, it was possible to move on and get on with one's life. And Pete's pain was just as big as hers was, so it couldn't have been any easier for him than it was for her. And Cate knew that if Pete had been able to move on, she would too. She would force herself to move on, even though right now she just wanted to drown in the self-pity and pain that she was feeling. 

Take it one day at a time, think of something new, plan new things. Those had been the advices that Pete had given her while they were having dinner. He had talked about his plans, and to Cate's amazement he had even seemed slightly enthusiastic. And that's what Cate wanted to feel, too. She wanted to be excited about something, she wanted to have something to look forward to.  

A/N: The language was a bit clumsy and I'm sure there are many errors here. I just didn't have the time to check the chapter properly, and I really wanted to update a new chapter. So, please review!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R-ish

A/N: A new chapter is here. Hope you like it!:)

Chapter Eighteen

*New York, Mel's apartment, Monday 8pm*

Rory poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down by the kitchen table. This was probably her fifteenth cup of coffee today, she'd been so nervous all day that she'd grabbed a cup whenever she could. Now she was finally sitting opposite to Pete and looking at him she suddenly felt a tiny bit better.

"Are you sure that you don't want any coffee?" she asked, but he shook his head reassuringly.

Rory had called Pete on Sunday night, after she had got back from Stars Hollow. It had been hard, picking up the phone and asking if he'd have the time to see her, but she had done it. And then she had spent the whole of Monday fearing this moment, talking to Pete, or actually talking with Pete about divorce. They were meeting at Mel's apartment, because she was on a week's holiday in Canada and her place seemed more neutral to both of them than their old home.

"You don't have to be nervous" Pete said quietly. "This isn't easy, but it has to be done"

Rory nodded and smiled faintly. She didn't understand how Pete could be so calm and so rational. She herself was feeling emotional, not very sensible at all. But she was proud about him, and she looked at him pensively.

"I guess there's not much to do, I mean legally. Just get the lawyers to draw the papers and that's it"

Pete nodded, they didn't have any property to fight over, and even if there had been something significant he knew they wouldn't have got into arguments.

"I can ask Billy to handle this" Pete said and Rory nodded approvingly knowing Billy to be a good friend of Pete's. 

Rory looked down at the coffee mug, now it started to really hit her. It was over, her life as she had known it for the past four years. And she didn't know how to take it, when at the same time she was so happy and excited to have Jess again and so sad to be parting ways with Pete. 

"I said to Mel once that we should never have got together, since we only ended up getting hurt. I wasn't over Jess, I should have realised that I would never be. But still it was…"

"It was good while it lasted" Pete cut in and made Rory look up at him with a somewhat amazed face.

"Really?" her voice seemed tiny, and seeing her worried and at the same time relieved face made Pete want to grab her and hold her tightly against him.

"Really. I was happy with you, Rory. And I know that when I'll think about all of this later, I will still think that I spent four incredible years with you"

He spoke slowly, his voice was quiet and soft as if he had felt that the situation required it. And he looked at Rory kindly, almost in a fatherly way. 

Rory nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. It was hard to say anything, anything that would matter. And she was feeling a bit too emotional, she didn't want to start crying in front of Pete. He was going through enough pain without her adding to it.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" she finally asked him, changing the subject to something safer that would help her control herself.

"Washington"

"Permanently?" Rory asked him and after he had nodded, she understood his decision. "It seems… strange to think that I won't see you again. That we don't have a life together anymore"

"Yea, it does" Pete admitted and then the two fell into a rather comfortable silence, both just seemed to be reflecting, thinking about the past as well as about the present. 

Finally Pete stood up and Rory looked at him hesitantly. 

"I think I'm gonna head home. I'm going to Washington again tomorrow so… It's an early morning for me"

Rory nodded and followed him to the apartment door. The stood there for a minute, just looking at each other and Rory had to turn her gaze to the floor so she wouldn't start crying.

"I think that sometime in the future we'll be able to talk about everything" he said and Rory nodded still not raising her eyes to him. "Do you mind if I hold you for a minute?" his voice was now more timid, but when Rory looked at him with watery eyes, he came to her and gently wrapped his arms around her. 

Rory took a deep breath to calm herself and she heard Pete sigh when she leaned her head against his chest. 

"I love you, Pete" Rory whispered so quietly that she wasn't sure if he even heard her.

Pete closed his eyes briefly and then pulled away to look at Rory. He nodded as if to say that he knew and touched her cheek gently. Rory smiled at him the best she could and then watched him go for good.  

*Mel's apartment, Tuesday 8pm*

Jess was standing by the stove, making dinner. Rory sat by the table watching him, observing him. He looked so lovely, so tough and soft at the same time. She adored the concentrated look that he had on his face right now and the way he ran his fingers through his hair when he was lost in his thoughts. Rory wondered if his thoughts were about her and not the cooking, and she felt like sixteen again just because she was thinking about stuff like that.  

Jess had arrived in New York just a few hours ago. He had actually meant to come on Wednesday, but early in the morning Rory had called him and asked him to come before. She had woken up with a huge need to see him and talk to him.

"So, no luck with the apartment hunting?" Jess asked her and apparently he had no idea about her recent thoughts of him.

"Well, I've seen some interesting ads in the paper, places worth checking out. I'll make some calls tomorrow"

Jess nodded and then looked at Rory with a tiny smile.

"What?" Rory asked him curiously and when he just shook his head she went to him and lifted her eyebrows with a smile. 

"I'm just… really glad you called today"

Rory tried to hide how pleased she was to hear him say that, but it was a doomed attempt. Eventually she just grinned at him. 

"Happy to hear that?"

The look on his face was simultaneously amused and warm. Rory was beaming when she nodded her head.

"Yea, sort of"

Jess smiled at her and then turned to the stove again, still having the tiny smirk on his face. Rory went back to the table and continued observing him. They had agreed to take thing easy, and that was what they were doing. Rory was sleeping in Mel's study and Jess was sleeping in Mel's bedroom. It was definitely a very good idea to proceed calmly, but right now when Rory was watching him, once again realising just how incredible he was, she certainly wished that she would be able to sleep next to him. But there was no need to rush.

*NBC, Wednesday 3pm*

Jess walked down one of the halls and looked at the name signs beside every door. He was beginning to think that he'd never find the right one, but once he saw the name he'd been looking for he stopped. The door was closed, and he stood by it, just staring at the name. He felt insecure, hesitant and because of those feelings he felt like a coward. 

He lifted his hand and knocked on the door calmly. He heard her voice asking him to come in and then he opened the door. 

She was sitting behind her desk, looking at her computer, her eyebrows knit together in a concentrated look. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts and absentmindedly she looked up at him. 

Her brown eyes looked straight into his. Seeing him didn't change the neutral expression on her face, but seeing her eyes made his stomach turn. Her eyes were filled with hate, pain and fear, as well as love. They stared at each other for a while, but then she turned her gaze away from him. When his eyes met hers again, the emotions in her eyes had been replaced by indifference.

Jess stepped slightly further in and then closed the door behind him. He hadn't planned anything to say in advance and so he just stood there quietly waiting for something to come to him.

"I'm sorry I came without calling first" he eventually said and Cate nodded slightly.

"I've actually been meaning to call you for a while now. I packed your things so you can come and take them away when you want"

Now it was Jess's time to nod. He would be taking his things with him now, to Stars Hollow. He had settled in well above the diner and he was really in no hurry to find a new place in New York.

"When would be good for you? Tonight, tomorrow?"

"So, you're staying in the city for a few days?" Cate asked him then realising that she had entered a territory she didn't want to go to. 

Jess looked at her silently for a minute, then he nodded. He knew she didn't want to hear about this, him and Rory, and so he didn't say anything more about the subject. Cate asked him to sit down and after he had done so, she said that he could basically come any night he wanted.

"Tomorrow night would be best for me, I think" he said and so it was settled.

Cate looked at him, trying her best to stay calm and rational. She had let him see her hurt when he'd first stepped in, but now she was doing all she could to seem just fine. She didn't want to see the pity and apologies in his eyes, it only made her feel weaker and more pathetic. But in a way, she knew it was all useless. He knew how much she loved him, he knew how much pain she was going through. 

"I guess there's really not too much for us to talk about" she said and looked at him seriously. "There's nothing I want to hear from you and there's nothing I want you to ask me" 

"Cate…" Jess tried to start talking, but Cate didn't let him.

"If I ask you how you're doing, you're gonna have to tell me about you and Rory. And if you ask me how I'm doing… I really don't want to talk about it with you"

Jess nodded at her, he understood. 

"I won't be home tomorrow when you come so you can use your own keys. And if you don't mind leaving them at the apartment when you're done, I'm gonna… Well, find a new place for myself soon, a smaller one"

"Okay" Jess said and then after a short silence he stood up. 

He had decided that surprising Cate would be the best thing to do. That way she wouldn't have to stress about seeing him and he'd get to prepare for seeing her in peace. He walked to the door, thinking that he was such a failure. He had no way of making her feel better after all the pain he had caused her.

"Jess" Cate said quietly, and he turned to see her again. "Thanks for coming. I wouldn't have been able to call you"

"It's okay" he said and smiled a bit. 

He opened the door and was already about to step outside when he stilled. He turned to look at Cate who looked at him questioningly.  

"If you could put the picture of us in Florence with the rest of my stuff…" 

The look on Jess's face told Cate more than he could ever have said with words. She nodded at him slightly and Jess left the room.

Cate sat down on her table and stared at the door he had closed behind him. It took a moment for her to realise that she was holding her breath and when she relaxed she suddenly felt like laughing and crying at the same time. She missed him so much. And he had asked for a photo of them. In Florence. That's where they had first met, that's where they had got engaged. Cate had feared that he wouldn't care anymore, that he wouldn't even remember. But at least now she knew that it had been real for him, too. And he didn't want to forget.   

*Mel's apartment, 10pm*

Jess was lying on the couch with Rory lying half on top of him and half beside him. Her head was resting against his shoulder and her arm rested on top of his chest. Her eyes were closed when she listened to his voice while he spoke.

"She'd been engaged before she met me"

Rory lifted her head slightly so she could see Jess. He'd been telling her about the time he'd spent in Italy, meeting Cate and how they got together. 

"What happened?" she asked when she lay her head down again. 

"They both thought that it would be best to break up. He'd been a family friend or something. I actually met him a few times since they had mutual friends"

"You know, it seems hard picturing you in Florence. Or France, or Mexico or Morocco. But I can only imagine what it's been like to see all those places, meeting so many different people"

"Yea, but you've travelled, too. Lorelai told me that you've been all over the world since you've worked at NBC"

Rory found it strange to hear that Lorelai had told Jess about her. She wondered what else they had talked about and how Lorelai really felt about Jess, but then she replied to his words.

"But it's completely different. I've been to many countries, but I've always stayed in hotels and gone to conferences. You've really lived in so many places, met local people and learned to speak the languages. That's why you're so mature now, I guess. You've experienced so much and seen so much"

"Did you just say that I'm mature?" Jess asked him and when Rory nodded he began chuckling. 

"Don't laugh. You're ten times more mature than I am. Despite everything that's happened in the past years, I've always been sheltered. I've always had a security net to help me if something happens, you've done everything by yourself"

Rory's words were followed by a silence. First she kept laying still, but eventually she sat up properly to look at him. He adjusted himself better on couch giving her more room, but he didn't look at her and he wasn't smiling anymore.

His face seemed somehow strained, and Rory understood that the subject was a sore one for him. No matter how much of a loner he was, too much was always too much. Although she had just said it, she had never really thought about how lonely he must have been.

"Jess…" she said cautiously, but then she didn't know how to continue.

"I don't wanna do things alone anymore"

Gently Rory placed her palm beside his cheek and looked at him. His eyes were focused on something behind her and she had to tug at his cheek to get him to look at her. Their eyes met and Rory was serious when she quietly said

"You won't have to"

Rory moved so that she was straddling him. For a minute she just sat there, looking at him with her head tilted. Then she felt his hands first touching her jean-clad knees and then moving slightly upwards and settling on her thighs. Chills ran up and down her spine, she shivered almost unnoticeably when his hands stopped. She leaned down slowly, a million thoughts running through her mind. Jess touching her, his hands on her thighs and she was leaning toward him.

Her other hand was still by his cheek and now her other palm found it' way up to his face, too. She cradled his face in her hands when she let her lips lightly skim on his. She pulled slightly further away, only to see him looking at her with that look in his eyes that she adored. She'd never seen him looking at anyone else like that, and she loved it.

Once again her lips met his, but now Jess didn't let her pull away. He moved his hand from her thigh and placed it behind her neck to pull her closer to him. Their lips crashed, Jess's other hand shifted to her waist and Rory was now basically lying on top of him. The broke apart for a while to catch their breaths, and Rory felt his chest rise under hers. She placed her cheek next to his and stayed still for a while when she felt both his hands on her waist, searching for bare skin. She ran her fingers through his hair when she placed her lips lightly on his cheek, then let her tongue run over his ear. She heard him taking a deep breath and smiled while she moved her lips downwards to his neck. 

She had had so vivid memories of kissing him, touching him, but now that she was actually doing it… it was ten million times better than she had remembered. Her lips caressed his skin, her tongue tasted it and again she smiled. Jess felt her smile against his skin and then let his lips touch her cheek quickly before he sat up dropping Rory onto his lap.

He smiled mischievously when Rory's questioning eyes looked a him. And she hadn't remembered how great that was either. He kept his other arm behind her back and then rather roughly he pushed her on the couch and then climbed on top of her. He was careful to keep his weigh on his elbows and now that she was lying on her back, he looked at her silently for a while. The couch definitely wasn't the most comfortable place in the words do be doing something like this, but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, her eyes were glowing, looking at him with excitement and above all, desire. She wanted him, and it felt incredible, or inconceivable to know that. 

He bent down to kiss her, but instead of just letting her kiss him back, he decided to tease her. He pulled away, then pushed his face gently against hers and let his tongue skim her bottom lip quickly. She gasped and he would have smiled had he not been so concentrated in what he was doing. His tongue travelled from the bottom lip to her upper one, and instinctively she opened her mouth. She let his tongue enter her mouth, and it ran over her teeth slowly, like he was familiarising himself with her again. 

Jess was so lost in exploring her than he didn't even realise that he had lowered his body so that he was now truly lying on top of her. He still had most of his weigh on his arms, but there was not an inch between them. Rory let her hands go to his waist, then feel his back on top of his shirt. She could feel his muscles beneath her fingers and she let her fingers wander up to his neck. She stopped by his hairline, and just as Jess intensified their kiss, she began stroking the sensitive skin of his neck, barely touching it, but still touching it just enough.

Rory's touch made Jess's whole body light up, and he broke the kiss to move his lips first to her jawline, and then to her chest. He managed to pull away from his teasing fingers and they moved to play with his hair while his lips tenderly caressed her skin. She was wearing a low neckline sweater, granting him access to the skin just above her heart. While Jess's hands moved to push her sweater slightly upward from her waist, he placed his ear against her chest.

He was listening to the beating of her heart, and the sight made tears well up in Rory's eyes. Her heartbeat was fast, and it was beating harder and harder the longer she looked at him. When she finally closed her eyes, he lifted his head and then shifted so that he could push her sweater up to her breasts and press his lips against her abdomen. He felt Rory quiver under his touch, his fingers were stroking her skin soothingly while his lips travelled as low as their could on her stomach. When he came to the waistband of her jeans, he rested his forehead against his stomach and Rory heard him take a deep breath.

They were both catching their breaths, trying to calm down their heartbeats. Because they both knew that if they went any further, they wouldn't be able to stop. And although both wanted to keep on going, they still weren't sure if it was the best thing to do. 

Jess lifted his head to look at Rory and met her blue eyes looking at him seriously. His hair was messy and Rory could practically see the adrenaline that was running through his veins. She reached out her hand to him for support and he pulled her upwards to a sitting position. 

"You look adorable" she said quietly and made him smile. 

They were sitting on the couch, facing each other. It was apparent on both their faces that neither had actually wanted to stop.

"I really believe in this 'let's take thing easy' –plan" Jess said and smirked.

"So, do I" Rory said and took a deep breath. 

They still sat there, just looking at each other. Eventually Rory turned to see the time and then said that she should head to bed.

"I should probably, too" Jess said as he helped her get off the couch. "I could see you for lunch tomorrow? I have a meeting with an editor tomorrow morning, so after that…"

"Yeah, sounds good" Rory said and tucked her hair between her ears. "You can call me when you're ready. I can get out anytime I want"

Jess and Rory both headed to bed. After a while, Rory, dressed in her pyjamas, climbed to bed and pulled the comforter on her. She was still feeling dazed by what had happened just ten minutes before. She and Jess, making out on the couch. The way he touched her was…

"Rory?"

His voice pulled her away from her thoughts and she looked at him questioningly. He was standing by the door, it was dark and she could only really see the shape of him.

"Yea?"

He took a step closer to her and right away she felt her breath catching in her throat. He stood there and she looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing what he was about to say or do.

"I just wanted to say goodnight"

Rory nodded, feeling sudden relief as well as disappointment inside her. First she thought that she'd stay sitting down, but then she got off the bed and stood up. She went to him and stood just a few inches away from him, looking at the face she loved so much.

"This 'lets take it easy' –plan that we have… We don't have to keep it up for much longer, right?"

The tone of her voice was slightly playful and her words made Jess chuckle. He leaned in and placed a light kiss on her lips before answering her.

"I don't think it's gonna be much longer" he said and made Rory wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him again. 

When she pulled away, they looked at each other smiling.

"Well, you should go to bed then" she said and he nodded with a sigh.

"I call you tomorrow"

"Yea, do that" Rory said when she went back to the bed and crawled under the covers. "Good night, Jess" 

"Good night, Rory" he replied and from his voice Rory could hear that he was smiling.

He closed the door after him and instantly Rory fell on her back. She stared at the ceiling in the darkness and even though she didn't even realise it at first, she had a huge grin on her face. She and Jess were kissing, on the couch. God knows what would have happened if… And it would happen, it would happen soon. Rory sighed and rolled onto her stomach. She buried her face in her pillow and giggled. And she knew she wouldn't be able to stop any time soon.

A/N: I was just browsing through all the reviews I've got from you guys and I'm really quite speechless. It feels incredible to hear that you really think that this story is good and that it has affected so many of you. I cannot even begin to tell you how much that means to me. So, thank you! The story is not yet finished, but as you can guess the rest will merely be about Rory and Jess and how things evolve between them. It's pretty nice writing this story now, with considerably less angst than in the beginning. So, do review and make me a very happy writer!:)


	19. Chapter Nineteen

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R-ish

A/N: Again, I've been having some trouble writing this. Mostly because my own love life is really messed up at the moment and all I want to do is write about relationships that don't work out. But I'm trying my best and I hope you like it. This chapter is ALL R/J, it's pretty much them getting closer and closer to each other, physically and mentally. And once again thank you so much for your reviews, I keep reading them over and over again! 

Chapter Nineteen

*Stars Hollow, Friday 9pm*

Jess parked the car in front of Luke's and was about to get out when Rory took his hand and stopped him. He turned to look at her curiously and saw her smiling.

"I just… I wanna thank you for staying with me the whole week" she seemed somewhat shy and Jess nodded at her warmly. 

"It was my pleasure" he said and then leaned toward her to place a light kiss on her lips. "Now, let's go and get you some coffee"

They got out of the car and walked into the diner. They both greeted Luke with smiles and sat by the counter, but although Rory tried her best to concentrate on Luke, she found it hard to tear her eyes off Jess. Sitting beside him in the car while they drove to Stars Hollow had given her time to think, once again. They had spent the past four days together, it was the longest period of time they'd been together since Jess had been back. It had brought them so much closer to each other than they had lately been, they were beginning to get to know each other again. 

"We just came for some coffee. I'm dropping Rory to Lorelai's then" she heard Jess say and she nodded when she looked at him.

"Oh" Luke mumbled and suddenly seemed slightly confused.

It was apparent that Luke had expected Rory to stay with Jess, after all they had already spent four days together in New York. But they were still taking things easy, reminding themselves of the fact that they were in no hurry and rushing might actually end up spoiling everything. But that wasn't to say that the thought of not waiting hadn't crossed their minds. Actually, it had been on both their minds constantly. 

"So, if you'll give me coffee to go?" Rory looked at Luke with a smile and he did as she asked. "So, I guess I'll see you when you get home tonight. I hope you don't mind me staying with you and mom again"

"Rory" Luke said firmly. "Have I ever minded?"

Rory smiled at him and then followed Jess out of the diner and back to the car. When they arrived at the Gilmore House a few minutes later, they already saw Lorelai running out of the house toward them.

"Oh, Luke called me and told me you're here! I'm so happy to see you, honey!" she cried out when she ran to hug Rory.

"Yea, I'm glad to see you, too, mom" Rory laughed and then she and her mother turned to see Jess who was unpacking her stuff from the car.

"Wow, why do you have so much stuff with you?" Lorelai asked her daughter when they went to help Jess with her bags.

"I'm going straight to Chicago from here. I have a conference and therefore all this stuff"

Lorelai, Rory and Jess went inside the house and right away Rory settled comfortably on the couch. Jess looked at her slightly amused when Lorelai babbled about the recent events in Stars Hollow and Rory closed her eyes yawning.

"I'm not going to take that as a hint that you're already bored with me" Lorelai said to Rory who then opened her eyes with a grin.

"I'm not. It's just been a rough week" she said yawning again and her words made Lorelai's eyes light up.

"With lover-boy staying with you, it's understandable"

Jess looked at Lorelai with both disbelief and amusement in his eyes and then went to Rory.

"I'm gonna head back to my place, too"

"We'll do something tomorrow?" Rory asked him and he nodded with a smile.

Lorelai, who was sitting in an armchair, looked at them pensively. They seemed so good together. Lorelai hadn't actually seen them this together since Jess had been back. It seemed that some of that intimacy they used to share was back and they seemed more than comfortable around each other. Lorelai loved hearing Jess's voice soften when he spoke to her daughter and the look on Rory's face when she looked at him.

To Lorelai's surprise, Jess didn't kiss Rory goodnight, he just touched her cheek gently and smiled at her before leaving the house. After he had closed the door after him, Lorelai squealed and ran to Rory.

"Ooh, tell me everything, Rory!"

"Tell you what, mom?" Rory asked with a smile.

"You and Jess, four days together in Mel's apartment… Tell me everything!"

Rory looked at her mother's excited face and then she nodded slowly. 

"We're getting to know each other again, finding out new things and then seeing that some things are still the same as before"

"The sex is as good as it used to be?" Lorelai said chuckling and winked at Rory.

Rory laughed at her mother and then said that she wasn't in a position to say. Lorelai looked at her somewhat hesitantly when Rory told her that they had decided to proceed calmly and not rush things. 

"It's good" Lorelai said then and thought to herself that she admired her daughter's self-control and sensibility. 

"Every day, I fall more and more in love with him" 

"You're happy" Lorelai said and looked at her daughter wistfully.

"Yea. And I'm happy to see that you want me to be happy with Jess"

"I do" Lorelai said firmly and now more seriously. "I'm sorry for not always being there for you, but now that I see how mature and grown-up he is… And after seeing how he can affect you, I can only hope that you'll be together"

Rory smiled at her mother, silently thinking that it had taken her mother ten years to accept Jess, but in the end she had. She wrapped her arms around her mother and squeezed her tightly, before she headed to bed.

*Jess's apartment, Saturday, 11pm*

Rory was curled up on the other side of the couch while Jess was lying on the other end. Both had books in their hands and both seemed to be lost in their own literary worlds. 

Rory had done some shopping in Hartford with her mom earlier that day, but just like she had previously agreed with Jess she had come to his apartment later in the evening. Almost immediately they had pulled out their books and begun reading, and they were both extremely happy to see that they could feel so comfortable around each other. 

Jess stared at the text before him, and to Rory it did seem like he was reading. However the truth was that he had not turned a page for a while now, he had been lost in his thoughts, but he had not been thinking about the novel.

"Rory?"

She turned to look at him and waited for him to continue. To him, she seemed so calm right now, it seemed that she was simply surrounded by tranquillity. He looked down for a minute, trying to get his thoughts together, wondering why he was even asking her this.

"After I left and before you met Pete… Did you have… Did you…" Jess shook his head in disbelief.

He couldn't believe that it was so hard to say it, but then again he couldn't believe that he needed to ask it either.  

"Did you have other men?" he finally blurted out and looked down as if he was ashamed of his words.

Rory put her book down and looked at him. He was asking her about the things she'd done while he'd been away. He was asking her about things that were painful to think about, let alone talk about. But she understood that he wanted to know, it wasn't like she had never wondered about the women he'd possibly had in the past years.

"I had some one-nightstands" she started speaking quietly, it was difficult to find the right words. "A few years after you left I went to this party and I was just so drunk… That was the first man after you…" Rory glanced at Jess to see him listening to her seriously, but when he nodded for her to continue, she did. "One of the hardest things about being without you was being without the physical intimacy. Of course, one-nightstands aren't a substitute for the kind of closeness you and I had, but it was something. Just to feel that someone still wanted me… It was a mixture of wanting someone to hold me and at the same time feeling sick because I only wanted you to hold me and no one else"

Rory looked down quietly. She felt really bad right now, she hadn't been at all prepared to talk about this. It had been such a long time since she had even thought about those times, she had been in a bad place then. 

"What about you?" she asked Jess timidly, somewhat fearing what he would tell her.

"I… I didn't have too much going on before I met Cate. Just a few drunken nights, I guess not that different from yours"

Rory nodded and they both were then lost in their thoughts, going through past events in their minds, trying to figure things out over again.

"I remember waking up in the morning beside someone I didn't know, and I thought to myself that I was so screwed up. It made me miss you even more, it reminded me of what it was like to wake up next to you, how different it was to wake up next to you" his words were barely audible.

Rory looked at him and then climbed on to his lap so that their chests were against each other and her legs were straddling him. She forced him to look at her and then he pulled her into his embrace. His hold on her was so tight that she found it hard to breath, but still it felt like she couldn't get close enough to him.

"Can I wake up next to you in the morning?"

His voice sounded muffled since his face was buried in her neck. Rory pulled slightly away from him and then looked at him observantly.

"Do you have a toothbrush for me?"

*Ten minutes later*

Dressed in Jess's boxers and a t-shirt Rory came from the bathroom to see that Jess had already turned off the lights. In the dark room, Rory could to see his form on the bed and she felt that very familiar pressure on her chest. He moved slightly when she went to bed and sat down on it.

Now that her eyes had got used to the darkness, she could see the features of his face and the look in his eyes. He was lying on his side when he reached out his hand. She took it and moved closer to him. For a minute she just sat there, in the middle of the bed, looking at him. So many times she had looked at him in the middle of the night, wondering in the darkness if he was even real or just a fantasy. 

Still holding his hand, she lay down on her side so that her back was facing him. With his arm draped over her, she felt secure and warm. His hand was placed over her stomach and she felt his lips touch her neck softly. His actions brought a tiny smile on her face and she closed her eyes feeling serene and peaceful. 

*Sunday, 8am*

She had lied in this bed so many times before. She had stared at this ceiling, listened to his steady breathing, and enjoyed his proximity. She had gone through so many emotions on this bed. She had read with him, she had listened to him while he read to her, or just looked at him while he slept or read. She had cried while laying in his arms and laughed harder than ever before in her life. She had made love to him on this bed, she had been so close to him that she had believed them to be just one person. She had heard him telling her that he loved her more than anything in the world, and she had even thrown up on this bed the very first time that she had been truly drunk. 

"I love waking up beside you" Rory whispered quietly, believing him to be asleep, but to her surprise his arm tightened its grip on her and pulled her closer to him. 

His touch made her gasp and she turned to see him blinking drowsily. She smiled and rolled over so that she was lying on her stomach with her arm draped over his chest. His body was so warm, so made for her to rest her head on. When her head settled on his shoulder, he held her in his embrace and made her want to scream in delight. But instead she sighed and soon drifted off to sleep again.

*10am*

Rory stood at the bathroom door wrapped only in her towel. She tucked her wet hair behind her ears and looked at him. He was sitting on the bedside, looking at her in a way that made her shiver. She looked into his eyes for a while, until she finally let her gaze observe him properly. He had a towel draped on his waist, and Rory found herself staring at his upper body, devouring the sight in front of her, looking for changes, looking for things that were familiar.

Rory took a few steps closer to him, she felt anxious and unsure, but still he drew her to him like a magnet. Eventually she was standing only a few inches away from him and he looked up at her still sitting on the bed. He lifted his hands and when he placed them at her hipbones, she closed her eyes instantly. His touch seemed to cause pressure in her lower abdomen, his touch on her hips made her wanna lose control. Eventually he slowly pulled her to him and leaned his forehead against her abdomen letting her hands drop downwards to the back of her thighs.  

Rory's hands wandered to his hair and she heard him sigh deeply when she touched him. His fingers made small ministrations on her thighs and she felt the kind of sensations inside her that she hadn't felt in ages. They stayed like that for quite some time, but eventually Jess lifted his head and looked at Rory. She smiled at him and seeing him respond with a smile, too, she placed her hands on his shoulders and then pushed him on his back. Climbing on top of him and straddling him, they were suddenly very aware of the fact that they were both practically naked. Sitting on top of him, Rory gazed at him for a while, but when he eventually grabbed her arm gently and pulled her down to him, she forgot all about her hesitation and shyness.

She was leaning on her elbows, but still pretty much lying on top of him. Trying to ignore the fact that they were this close to each other wearing pretty much nothing, he lost himself in kissing her. He had always wondered about her exquisitely soft lips, kissing her had always been his very favourite pastime. He remembered spending so much time just like this, cuddling in bed just kissing and doing nothing more or less. 

When Rory pulled away to catch her breath, she slid herself off of him and lay on her side with her legs still tangled in his. She placed her hand against his chest, feeling his skin below her fingers, taking in every emotion that came with touching him. Her hand moved downward slowly, finding his stomach muscles. Jess watched the concentrated look she had on her face, he was amazed by the gentility in her touch. It seemed like she was afraid he might break under her touch.

Jess brought his hand to hers and held it firmly against his abdomen. Rory lifted her gaze to his eyes and was met by his curious and smiling face. She smiled a bit, too, knowing that her cautious actions had caused amusement in him. She shifted slightly so that she was closer to him, practically attached to him and then wrapped her hand tighter around him, encouraging him to do the same with her. Laying her head down on the bed, she looked at him with warm eyes. 

"When you came back to New York, how did you think you'd be able to avoid seeing me again?"

Jess looked at her silently, then he moved slightly and straddled her with his arms. His head was slightly titled when he looked at her.

"I guess I didn't" he replied quietly and then lowered himself so that he was able to brush his lips against hers. 

He pulled away again, then sweeping his lips gently over her jaw to her neck. His lips seemed to glide over her, his mouth found her earlobe and his teeth nibbled on it lightly. Rory realised that she wasn't even breathing anymore and when she concentrated on taking a deep breath, his lips were suddenly caressing her collarbone, causing her to gasp loudly. She could feel Jess smiling against her skin and after placing another light kiss on her chest, he withdrew further away and then lay his head down on her abdomen. 

"You knew that I'd read your book when it was published. You must have known that we'd end up seeing each other again and Cate would know about you and me"

Rory seemed to be talking more to herself than to Jess. Her voice was pensive and reflecting. Jess, who was lying on his stomach, resting his head on her stomach, was gently stroking her thigh. Rory could only see the back of his head since he was looking away from her and at her legs. 

"Maybe I did" he replied quietly, still not turning to look at Rory. 

Rory's fingers were soon once again entangled in his hair. Right now, when she was sharing this kind of intimacy with him, she truly realised it. Jess loved her, he really loved her and no one else.

*Twelve noon*

Rory walked down the stairs from the apartment. She was smiling to herself, but she tried her best to control it when she entered the diner. She felt everyone turning to look at her, she felt staring gazes and heard whispers, but she didn't mind. After seeing her mother by the counter she went to her and sat down.

"Good morning" she said cheerfully, when Lorelai's curious face looked at her. 

"Well, it certainly seems to be a good morning for you" her mother replied with a smile and then winked at her. "Get lucky last night?"

Rory rolled her eyes and laughed when Luke brought her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks, Luke" she said and when he had once again went to take orders, Rory looked at her mother and smiled widely. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell"

"But you must!" her mother insisted just as Jess appeared form the stairs, too. "Ooh, Jess!"

"Mom, let it go" Rory said chuckling. "We're still taking things easy" she said when Jess came to her and kissed her cheek gently.

Lorelai watched the two, how her daughter blushed when Jess touched her. Gosh, there seemed to be so much happiness in the air that she was starting to feel sick.

"So, honey, are you leaving Stars Hollow tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tonight. My plane leaves Hartford around ten, I think" Rory said after asking Jess to bring her some fries. 

"How long will you be in Chicago?"

"The conference ends on Friday, but I'm not sure if I have to be there until then. We'll have to see" Rory said pensively, just as Jess brought her the food.

"You two gonna hang today?" he asked and leaned on the counter.

"We're going to Sookie's for lunch" Rory replied and then looked at her watch. "So, should we start heading there?" she then asked her mom who nodded and said they should go as soon as she had eaten.

"But if you're going for lunch, why are you eating now?" Jess asked Rory looking slightly confused, but she replied to his worlds with laughter.

"I have to eat breakfast before lunch" she said and grinned at him. "So, would you like to meet up at the bridge later? We could read and stuff"

Jess nodded at her and then got to work pulling out an orderpad and a pen. Rory's gaze followed him and she sighed as she turned back to her fries.

"He's not too bad, is he?" Lorelai said pensively and her daughter couldn't disagree. 

*The bridge, 3pm*

He stood still, looking at her and her delicate figure. Her long brown hair kept falling to her face and every once in a while she had to tuck it back behind her ears. She seemed to be lost in the novel she was reading and she didn't notice him even when he started to walk towards her.

He got to her and by now she must have realised his presence. However, she didn't turn and Jess sat down behind her, leaving her to sit in between his legs. She still hadn't lifted her eyes from the book, but when Jess wrapped his arms around her waist he could feel her stomach muscles tense. He had a tight hold on her and instinctively he glanced over her shoulder to see the book she was reading. He didn't recognise the text right away, and he couldn't even concentrate on it now. Her smell was surrounding him, it was the intoxicating mixture of her shampoo and the soft perfume she wore. Jess brushed his face cautiously against her hair, only to find it incredibly soft. He smiled when he thought of the influence she had on him, how she could captivate him so completely. She held him in her hands and he wondered if she even realised it. 

Rory tried her best to concentrate on the book in her hands, but it wasn't easy. Her whole body was so tense, so aware of the fact that he was sitting right behind her, holding her. She turned the page trying to get her thoughts to the text when she suddenly felt his lips touch her neck and then pull away again. The contact was so short that Rory had to wonder if he had actually even touched her, but right now, her whole body told her that he had.  

He had this incredible way of telling her how he felt through his body. Every movement he made, every caress and touch was so much more than she could ever have asked for. He nuzzled her neck and then pressed his lips against her sensitive skin again. This time he stayed there for some time, then slowly he skimmed his lips to her jawline, kissing her earlobe lightly on the way. 

Rory had her eyes closed and she quivered when Jess's lips found the pulse on her neck. Her heart was beating its way out of her chest and when Jess took the skin above her pulse between his teeth, Rory felt tears rising to her eyes. She opened her eyes for a minute to blink them away, thinking that nothing had changed from the past. Jess could still make her lose control of herself, he could make her go through overwhelming feelings, and he could make her stop breathing. 

Spontaneously, Rory turned her head to his direction and immediately he crushed his lips to hers. Rory hand's dropped the book onto her lap, and when she shifted in his arms so that their chests were against one another and she was straddling him on his lap, the book fell to the water. 

Rory heard the splash of water, but she didn't care about the book. The only thing she cared about was that she was on Jess's lap, he was kissing her and there was not a single clear thought in her mind. Jess's kiss was demanding and passionate, and his hands were holding her to him so tightly that she actually thought that she might burst crying any moment. Being this close to him, so under his power, she felt the desperation she had felt before on this very same place. She felt the desperation realising that without him she was nothing, but with him she was so complete.  

Jess's hands roamed under her light jacket and eventually under her t-shirt. His fingers dove a few inches into her jeans and having a tight grip of her hips he pulled her even closer to him. He heard Rory whimper and they broke the kiss to catch their breaths. Rory brought her hands to cup his face and she leaned in again, this time taking his bottom lip between her teeth. She felt it gently with the tip of her tongue and after she'd tugged at his lip and got him to open his mouth slightly she slid her tongue into his mouth causing him to groan quietly. His hands had pulled her shirt up to her breasts, leaving her lower back and stomach bare for his touch. He stroked her skin softly while they continued their playful kiss and when she eventually pulled back, she felt his firm arms tightening their hold on her.

"Your book is in the lake" he said to her and she nodded.

"I couldn't care less" she then stated with a tiny smile and wrapped her arms behind his neck as he pulled her in for another kiss. 

A/N: I have a feeling that the next chapter will be the last. And it will probably take me some time to write it, I'd say that it'll be posted in at least two weeks, hopefully sooner. 

I had actually decided to stop writing after this story, but now I have some ideas growing in my mind. If I have the time and energy, and if my ideas actually evolve into a story, I guess I'll be posting a new story in the future. Before that I'm trying to improve my English, especially my vocabulary because I really want to write more versatile text. 

And although this is not yet the last chapter, I wanna thank you guys for all the great feedback and reviews I've got. I really did not believe that I'd be able to write a story, which would get so many readers. And here are some special thanks to:

Anonymousthinker, markie, jessandrory, iminlovewithaboynamedJESS, Luke Rules, Melly, Alece for being such faithful reviewers and for all your kind words and encouragement.

Laura mariano: thank you for all your reviews, for this story as well as for 'The Day After Tomorrow'. I cannot even begin to tell you how much they have meant to me, so just thank you.

LitJJAiken: your long and very profound reviews have been a real joy, thank you for saying that this is your favourite GG fanfic!:)

IloveJess: thanks for your reviews, I loved them and I was extremely humbled to see that you put so much time in reading and then reviewing. I've read all your feedback dozens of times, I also appreciated your feedback of 'The Day After Tomorrow' very, very much!

Mrs Mariano: I don't know what to say, except thank you. And I was wondering: are you from Norway? It's a lot of fun that there are so many nationalities here reading these stories..

Knowhere: as you know I really appreciate your reviews and knowing what a great writer you are yourself, their value is even greater!

Kay: I truly enjoyed your reviews, so thank you! 

Okay, it's a lot of thanks, but I just wanted to make sure you all know how great it has been to receive feedback from you..:)  


	20. AN

A/N: Okay, just a tiny question that I needed to ask. As I'm writing the last chapter(s), the rating will most definitely be R. I'm just not really aware of the difference between R and NC-17, and since I'm planning to write some pretty "intense" stuff, I still want to be able to post it on this site. If any of you have a good tip on how to keep the rating R, please do share it. These ratings are really unfamiliar territory to me… Thanks ever so much..:)

Anna


	21. Chapter Twenty

TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J 

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc. 

RATING: R

A/N: This is the last chapter. This isn't my first attempt on it, I wrote one version with great pain and trouble, but then after consulting 'Knowhere' I decided to write it again. Take two on this chapter was easy (or at least easier) to write, it felt right to me, and I hope you guys feel that way, too. This chapter takes place a few weeks after Chapter Nineteen.

Chapter Twenty

*New York, Rory's apartment, Thursday 8pm*

Rory sat on the couch and looked around in her new home. It was considerably smaller than her old apartment had been, but she liked it. There was a spacious living room, a kitchen and a cosy bedroom. When Rory had got back from Chicago a few weeks before, Mel had surprised her by telling that she had found her the perfect apartment. Rory had moved in practically right away and now that everything was on its appropriate place, it was really beginning to feel like home. 

Rory warmed her fingers around the coffee mug she had in her hand and looked at the clock. Jess was coming to New York tonight, she hadn't seen him after the previous weekend which Jess had spent with her in her new home. He had helped her with little things that needed to be done at the apartment. It had been great having him around, especially now that she was starting a new life for herself. She wanted him to share it with her from the start, she wanted to integrate him into her life, and not only in Stars Hollow, but also in the world she lived in every day. 

Rory took a sip of the coffee just when she heard keys turning in the lock. Rory had given him the keys to her place as soon as she got them, it had felt natural to do so. Rory didn't even know it herself, but hearing him enter her home made her smile. He came into the living room and leaned against the doorframe to look at her. She looked comfortable, wearing her sweatpants and a tank top, her hair was high on a ponytail and she was beaming happily. 

"Hey" he said quietly, almost afraid to break the silence and calmness in the room.

"Hey" she replied and her smile grew wider. "Come here"

Jess walked to the couch and sat down next to Rory. He put his arm on the back of the sofa and then pulled her to him so that her head rested against his chest. Rory cuddled closer to him, wrapped her arm around his waist and closed her eyes.

"Next month"

"Really?" Rory said and lifted her head to look at him. 

Jess saw the excitement in her eyes, it was so genuine that it made him feel warm. He nodded at her and she nodded, too. When she again rested her head down, she heard him sigh.

"You're gonna be a published author"

"Yea"

"Can you understand it?" Rory said pensively and made Jess chuckle. He really couldn't understand it. "Next month someone's gonna read your novel the same way we read others'"

"That sounds scary" he said quietly and made Rory nod against his chest.

She knew what he meant. Not only was it scary that it was his first book and he had no idea about how it would be received, but it was also so personal, so close to him, that it was terrifying to think that now anyone would be able to read it. After the book was published, his whole life would be accessible to practically anyone.

"But it's gonna be good" Rory said and the determination was evident in her voice.

"You think?"

"I know"

Jess smiled and placed a kiss on her hair before saying that she wasn't really the best person to give an impartial opinion about the book.

"Maybe not" Rory said and then shifted so that she could look at him properly.

Jess wasn't looking at her, but at the bookshelves, which covered the living room walls. Rory noticed how his gaze stopped at one particular spot and she knew what he was looking at.

"You never came to get your books"

"I think they're ours" he said quietly and then looked at her to see her smile.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he helped her climb onto his lap and straddle him. Rory looked at him with her tilted and there was nothing to be done about the smiling that kept rising to her lips. 

"Do you remember when we were young and things were simple?"

"When we had no troubles in the world?" Jess asked her curiously and Rory responded by nodding. "So, you mean the time when Lorelai hated my guts?"

She grinned and her happy face made him laugh aloud. He placed his hand behind her head and pulled her face to his. His lips brushed against hers and she leaned closer to him to deepen the kiss. His fingers got down to her neck and caused her to gasp in the middle of the kiss. He pulled away from her and felt her fingers entangling in his hair.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?" she said as she kept concentrating on his hair. 

"Things are pretty good now, right?"

Her fingers stopped whatever it was that they were doing and her gaze slowly came to his eyes. She looked at him silently for a while and then nodded. Things were good. Better than she had ever dared to hope they would be. And it was because right now she was sitting on Jess's lap and he had his arms around her. She wondered how she could say it, how she could tell him how she felt. She wanted him to know exactly what was going on inside her, but there didn't seem to be words. 

Jess observed her, as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts, pondering about something vigorously. She had her eyebrows knit together and her eyes were intensely fixed on his. 

There were no words to say it, at least not words that were good enough. Nothing was good enough for him, she thought, as she slid her hands to the back of his neck again and leaned in. She rested her forehead against his and with her eyes closed, she was so aware of the way he had his arm around her back to hold her and his other hand still stroked her neck. Slowly his hand moved, it found the pulse on her neck, which seemed to jump from contact with his fingers. She let her lips skim against his again and she brought her hand to cup his other cheek. The tip of her tongue traced his bottom lip and got him to open his mouth slightly for her. She kissed him, and felt both his hands at the small of her back, tightening their grasp of her. The kiss was deliberate, it was meditative because it was meant to tell him what she felt. She leaned toward him again, to close the distance of a few inches between them. Her chest was against his, and he felt warm. It was the kind of warmth that could be addictive, and it was. 

Breaking the kiss gently, Rory rested her cheek against his and then allowed herself to bury her face in his neck, taking a deep breath in the process. He pulled her even tighter against him and Rory felt her head spin because of his proximity. And she wondered, again, if there was a way to describe the way she felt with words. But there wasn't. 

He heard her sigh quietly, and he had the urge to pull her even closer to himself although it wasn't humanly possible. Her body was relaxed on top of his, her breasts crushed against his chest and he remembered feeling like this once, a long time ago. He had felt like they had been glued together, like he couldn't pull away from her even if he wanted to. But he had never wanted to pull away.   

She nuzzled her face in his neck, causing him to sigh quietly. He felt her lips touch his skin lightly, then her tongue came out and left a wet line where she had tasted him. Carefully he slipped his hand under her tank top and let it move on her warm skin. She took a deep breath as she lifted her head and looked at him. He was slightly amused by the look in her eyes, it was a mixture of a million things. Seductive, amused, mischievous as well as questioning. It was a familiar look to him and he knew how to respond to it. 

He smiled when he pulled his hands from her back and instantly Rory got off him and stood up. He regretted the loss of her warmth around him, but when she reached out her hand to him he grabbed it without hesitation and followed her to the bedroom. 

They stood by the bed, just a few inches separating them from each other, gazing into each others eyes in the dimly lit room. Jess saw her chest rising when she inhaled deeply and brought her hands to the buttons of his shirt. 

Removing each others clothes was time consuming, but once the mission had been accomplished and they were both only wearing their underwear, Jess placed his hands on her hips and pulled her to him. Rory wondered how his body could always be so warm, but she soon forgot the thought when his lips cautiously brushed against her forehead. Instinctively she closed her eyes when his lips skimmed her face, moving slowly from her forehead to her eyelids, to her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips. 

Rory smiled when he kissed her, making his job slightly harder. Hearing him snort made her smile even more and she opened her eyes to see his slightly amused eyes. She brought her hands to his waist, placed them just above the waistband of his boxers and placed a light kiss on his chin before moving to his lips. She let her tongue glide over his lips, but when her tongue met his she abandoned her playful tactics and deepened the kiss bringing her hands to his upper back when he did the same only stopping by the clasp of her bra.

The muscles of his back tensed under her touch, her fingers traced them gently while he undid the clasp of her bra. They pulled apart to help Jess's task of removing her bra, and when he had completed it, he slowly lowered his gaze from her face to her bare chest. He looked down and Rory felt a need to move under his intense stare. He sensed her discomfort and looked up at her. He could have sworn that she had blushed, but in the darkness it was hard to tell. 

Rory placed her hand on Jess's chest, but before she had the chance to move any further, he took her hand and sat down on the side of the bed. Still holding her hand, he placed it on his shoulder as she looked at him curiously. Rory was standing between his legs when his eyes travelled from her face slowly downwards. She felt his touch behind her knees and instantly she was glad that she could support herself on his shoulder. His fingers made small circular ministrations on her skin, tortuously slowly moving up the back of her thighs. Rory closed her eyes when she gave the skin at the back of his neck the same attention as he was giving her. His hands moved higher, reached her buttocks and felt the cotton of her panties covering her soft skin.

She looked at him when he placed his lips on her abdomen. He made her want him in a way that overcame everything. Even thought the way he touched her was gently and almost innocent, it seemed that he brought her body to life like nobody else could. He knew exactly how she had to be touched, and she wanted to make him feel the same way that he made her. 

His hands were on her hips when she sat down on his lap, once again straddling him. He looked at her with curiosity, when she ran her hands down his back and leaned in to kiss him. Slowly her hands roamed his back and finally came back to his chest when she pushed him on his back. She loved seeing him like this, the anticipation and questioning which were reflected on his face. Her hands moved across his chest, then she straddled him with her arms as well, and moved her hips slightly, only to settle herself above his groin. 

There was nothing between them but the thin fabric of their underwear. When she leaned downwards to place her lips on his chest, she grind her hips against his tentatively, until he encouraged her to continue by letting a groan escape his mouth. Her lips moved up slowly but determinedly and once they met his lips, he pulled her into a deep kiss while his hands went down her sides to her waist. His hips shoved against hers, causing her to moan into his mouth and finally pull away to catch her breath. She buried her face in his neck caressing his skin with light kisses and at the same time calming the rhythm of their hips by her gentle actions. She felt his hands roaming her back and when she lifted her head to look at him again, he laid her next to him on the bed. Her eyes followed him when he reached down to her panties and she inched her hips up slightly to help him get them off. After having removed his own underwear, he climbed on top of her, laying between her legs, but not closing the distance between them. 

He was still, just looking at her. His hand searched hers, their fingers entwined and Rory wondered if this was a bad moment to start crying uncontrollably. He saw the tears in her eyes and heard her inhale deeply to calm herself. Gently he pressed his lips against hers and squeezed her hand when he finally moved into her. 

Before she even realised what had happened, Rory found herself frantically curling up around him. His face was buried in her neck and his breath felt hot against her skin. Rory felt a desperate need to get closer to his thrusting hips, but no matter what she did, it didn't seem to bring her close enough to him.

Her hand ran down to his buttock and she moved against him. She was so fully aware of the fact that this was Jess, he was moving inside her, his skin met hers with every movement they made, and he was covering her with his body in a strange mixture of passion and protection. She felt his lips move against her skin and for a moment she forgot how to breathe, how to move, how to think. Because he was too much, so much more than she could handle. 

Jess let his lips skim over her skin and when he lifted his head to look at her, he brought his hand between her legs. Her blue eyes looked straight into his and she gasped at his actions digging her fingernails into his lower back without even realising it herself. His lips were once again on hers, but she simply couldn't kiss him back. She felt like her breath was catching up in her throat. She felt like she dying of the overload of emotions running inside her right now. 

And then she heard his whisper in her ear. Both his gentle words and the soft tone of his voice was in such contradiction with the passion and desire she was feeling right now that he managed to bring her out of the stupor and back into this moment with him. She felt her body move again, finding the rhythm with his. Their touching bodies created friction which made Rory pull his mouth to hers and she wrapped her legs around his hips so he would never be able to leave her again. 

*1am*

He felt warm against her back, his arms around her, and his face nuzzled in her neck. Rory was somewhere in between being awake and asleep, her eyelids were heavy, but she didn't want to fall asleep just yet. She didn't want to lose this moment just yet. Their legs were entwined and she felt him move slightly causing her to roll on her back and open her eyes drowsily to look at him. 

His head rested against the pillow and his hair was an incredible mess. Rory definitely felt like smiling at the adorable sight, but she was too tired. Again she rolled over on her side so that she was facing him and she felt his lips brushing over hers. Jess pulled her slightly closer to him and then felt her drape her arm on his waist. He opened his eyes once more to steal a peek of the woman beside her. The seven years he'd been away from her were becoming only distant memories when she shifted slightly to rest her head against his chest. Taking in the scent of him, she finally drifted off to sleep.   

EPILOGUE: 

**Ten years later**

Lorelai and Luke still weren't married, but they were happily together and living in Stars Hollow. 

Mel had been in a serious relationship for five years.

Lane and Mark, who were still living in Chicago, had three kids and three triumphant music stores. 

Pete still worked for the same architect firm in Washington. He lived with his fiancée, also an architect with the same firm. The couple had no children, or plans for any.

Cate moved to Seattle and five years after the break-up with Jess she married a widowed Italian with two small children. Her husband started an Italian restaurant in the centre of Seattle while Cate worked for the local newspaper. She gave birth to a baby girl on their third wedding anniversary. 

Rory and Jess had returned to New York after their four-year stay in London, England, where Rory had worked for 'The Economist' and Jess had continued as a freelance writer and a novelist. He had published three successful novels after his well-received debut and following their return to the US, he got a permanent job at 'The New York Times'. Rory on the other hand returned to NBC and found herself working as the head of the department of foreign affairs. They had 8-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and these two had a 7-year-old little sister. The whole family usually spent weekends in Stars Hollow, and occasionally just the kids visited Lorelai and Luke when their parents wanted some time alone. And to the joy of their family and friends who had already given up on the hope of ever seeing Jess and Rory married, a wedding was scheduled for the following spring.   

A/N: Thank you for reading this story, and thank you so much for all the feedback you've given me. Knowhere and LukeRules deserve special thanks for help and consultation on the writing process of this last chapter. It didn't turn out as NC-17, but I hope you guys don't mind. Please review once more and tell me what you thought of the chapter and/or the whole story…:)


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